Martin Bobgan, PhD.
Among the stellar emotional needs of humanistic psychology are unconditional acceptance, unconditional self-regard, unconditional self-acceptance, and unconditional love. The meaning of the word unconditional is “without conditions or reservations; absolute.”1 The practical extension of the theories of unconditional love is a permissive attitude and a morally nonrestrictive atmosphere. That means no conditions or restrictions in child rearing, counseling, and other human relationships. Since the parent or counselor is to be giving unconditional love, it must be an absolute love, unrestricted by human feelings or failings, since the very meaning of the word is “absolute.” But, if there is any absolute when it comes to love, it is that human love is limited. It is not what it was originally created to be, even in the best of people and circumstances, except when Jesus Himself is loving in and through a person.
Adler and Maslow considered these “unconditionals” to be basic human needs, essential to a person’s sense of wellbeing. They taught that people need to be loved and accepted unconditionally—without any conditions of performance. Thus their followers teach that parents must love and accept their children unconditionally. Moreover, they encourage all people to love and accept themselves unconditionally.
Adler, Maslow, Rogers and others believed that a human being will find answers to his own dilemmas and naturally blossom into his best self in an atmosphere of unconditional love and acceptance, by which they meant a permissive, unstructured atmosphere. Nevertheless, as much as they would like to think that they themselves loved their clients unconditionally, the truth of the matter is this: people are not able to love unconditionally.
The Myth of Unconditional Love
Unconditional love is a myth. That is because the human is naturally self-biased and the human heart is so deceitful that one can fool himself into thinking that he is loving unconditionally, when in fact he has all kinds of conditions. For instance, what kind of unconditional love and unconditional positive regard is at work when the client can no longer pay for services and therapy is discontinued? Furthermore, even the most nondirective counselors express approval or disapproval in subtle, if not direct, ways.2
The idea of people improving their life in an atmosphere of unconditional love is founded on the premise that people are born good and that their natural inclination to goodness is thwarted by their environment (mainly parents). In such a system, self is the victim of society but finds salvation, freedom, and fulfillment through unconditional self-love and self-acceptance. Unconditional love cannot be based upon performance or it wouldn’t be unconditional. Therefore, it must be based on the intrinsic worth of the person. Paul Brownback, in his book The Danger of Self-Love, explains it this way:
- . . . by unconditional love we are speaking of love on the basis of being rather than doing. One implication of this teaching is the place of grandeur that it gives to the human being. I am lovable just because I am human; therefore being human, in and of itself, regardless of what I do with my humanness, must have some sort of independent value or worth. It is by itself a sufficient claim to respect and esteem.3
Thus, according to these self theories, everyone is born with the right to receive unconditional love and unconditional acceptance throughout his entire life, no matter what!
Pastors assigned to shepherd God’s flocks, should have been alert to the subtleties of deception that would turn a believer’s eyes from God to self. But alas, rather than warning the sheep, many of the shepherds have joined the psychologists and embrace their teachings of unconditional love and unconditional acceptance.
A Misunderstanding of God’s Love
The basis for their eager embrace is a misunderstanding of the love of God which passes knowledge. They equate unconditional love and acceptance with the fact that God’s love is vast, unfathomable, and unmerited. Then they follow that with the idea that if God loves and accepts people unconditionally, they should also love and accept themselves unconditionally. While this may sound like a logical progression, there are some serious problems with the basic assumptions. Therefore, we must address the question: Is God’s love unconditional? Are there any conditions that must be met to become a recipient of His love?
Paul prayed that the believers in Ephesus would be able to comprehend the breadth, length, depth and height of God’s love. He desired that they know the love of Christ, which surpasses knowledge, so that they would be filled with the fullness of God (Ephesians 3:16-19). The wide expanse of God’s love has been the theme of the gospel throughout the ages, for to know His love is to know Him. Therefore, any consideration of His love is highly important and must be based upon His revelation of Himself rather than upon the imagination of men.
Love According to Secular Humanism
Ever since the rise of secular humanism in this country and especially since the establishment of humanistic psychology, the popular, “relevant” term to describe God’s love has been unconditional. The thrust of this word in humanistic psychology has been both to give and to expect unconditional love from one another with no strings attached. While unconditional love and acceptance supposedly promote change and growth, they make no requirements. But God, who is love, requires and produces radical change—new life—and He enables His children to grow in righteousness.
In humanistic psychology, parents and society are always the culprits. Since they believe that every person is born with intrinsic worth and innate goodness, psychologists contend that one main reason people experience emotional and behavioral problems is because they have not received unconditional love from their parents. Following that thesis, Christians have come to believe that the best kind of love is unconditional love. It is the highest love secular humanists know. It is touted as a love that makes no demands for performance, good behavior, or the like. It has also been associated with a kind of permissiveness, since it makes no demands and has no conditions, even though the promoters of the unconditional love jargon would say that unconditional love does not have to dispense with discipline.
God’s Love Revealed through Scripture
Because the concept of unconditional love permeates society and because it is often thought of as the highest form of human love, it is natural for a Christian to use this term to describe God. After all, His love is far greater than any human love imaginable. God’s love for humanity is so great that “He gave His only begotten Son that whosoever believeth in Him should not perish, but have everlasting life” (John 3:16). Oh, the magnitude of the cost! We cannot even fathom His love even though our very breath depends upon it! His love indeed reaches to the heights and depths. Nevertheless, is God’s love truly unconditional?
God’s love is available to human beings by grace alone. There is nothing anyone can do to earn that love. There is no good work that is either demanded or even possible. Does that make God’s love unconditional? Because unconditional love is absolute and without any conditions whatsoever, all men would be saved if God’s love were unconditional. But that would be universalism. That would nullify the need for Christ’s sacrificial death and God’s condition of salvation by grace through faith.
We must also ask, does God’s love apply to the person who has sinned against the Holy Spirit by refusing to receive His grace throughout his lifetime and who is destined for hell? God chooses upon whom He will place His love and the benefits of his love. Did Jesus ever imply that God’s love is unconditional? He said to His disciples:
He that hath my commandments, and keepeth them, he it is that loveth me: and he that loveth me shall be loved of my Father, and I will love him, and will manifest myself to him (John 14:21).
One might argue, however, that the story of the prodigal son proves unconditional love. It indeed illustrates the vastness of God’s love, forgiveness and longsuffering. However, the son repented. If he had had a prosperous evil life he may never have repented. And while the father would have waited and hoped, he would not have extended his love. After all, he did not go out searching for him to support his folly. Up to a point this seems to indicate unconditional love, and yet, God is not waiting in ignorance, not knowing what those for whom His son died might be doing. He knows, and there comes a time when those who have refused his offer of love and forgiveness die and face the judgment. It is difficult enough to understand God’s love without adding the term unconditional which is loaded with secular, humanistic, psychological connotations. The story of the prodigal son teaches grace, forgiveness and mercy—but unconditional love? No!
While God loves with a greater love than humans can comprehend, His holiness and justice also must be taken into consideration. Therefore the term unconditional love is inadequate for defining God. It does not account for God’s reaction to pompous men who devise plans against Him and His anointed. The psalmist goes so far as to say:
He that sitteth in the heavens shall laugh: the Lord shall have them in derision. Then shall he speak to them in his wrath, and vex them in his sore displeasure (Psalm 2:4-5).
And what about Lot’s wife as she turned to look at the smoldering cities? Or what about Jesus’ words to the cities that refused to repent?
Woe unto thee, Chorazin! woe unto thee, Bethsaida! for if the mighty works, which were done in you, had been done in Tyre and Sidon, they would have repented long ago in sackcloth and ashes. But I say unto you, It shall be more tolerable for Tyre and Sidon at the day of judgment, than for you. And thou, Capernaum, which art exalted unto heaven, shalt be brought down to hell . . . . it shall be more tolerable for the land of Sodom in the day of judgment, than for thee (Matthew 11:21-24).
Does that sound like unconditional love?
But perhaps one could say that God’s love for the Christian is unconditional since the Christian partakes of His love and grace through faith. Wouldn’t it be better to say that the conditions have been met? Jesus met the first condition, to wash away the sin that God hates. The believer meets the second condition by grace through faith. Or, perhaps it would be better to say that God’s love extended to a person is conditioned by His plan to give eternal life to those who believe on His Son. The conditions of God’s love are resident within Himself.
There is a strong temptation to use vocabulary that is popular in society in order to make Christianity sound relevant. Christians have something far better than what the world offers, but in expressing that good news they confuse people by using words that are already loaded with humanistic connotations and systems of thought. It would be better not to use the expression unconditional love when describing God’s love. There are plenty of other good words.
In this was manifested the love of God toward us, because that God sent his only begotten Son into the world, that we might live through him.
Herein is love, not that we loved God, but that He loved us, and sent his Son to be the propitiation for our sins. . . .
And we have known and believed the love that God hath to us. God is love; and he that dwelleth in love dwelleth in God, and God in him (1 John 4:9, 10, 16).
The incomprehensible magnitude of God’s love surpasses any concept of love devised by humanistic psychologists. The doctrine of unconditional love is a myth that glorifies man rather than God.
1. Webster’s New Universal Unabridged Dictionary, Second Edition, 1983.
2. Jay Haley. Strategies of Psychotherapy. New York: Grune & Stratton, Inc., 1963, pp. 71, 82.
3. Paul Brownback. The Danger of Self-Love. Chicago: Moody Press, 1982, p. 66.
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JESUS CHRIST TOLD US TO OVERCOME TO THE END [video]

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Walking in Godly Integrity Means Paying Restitution Where Needed [podcast]

“And herein do I exercise myself, to have always a conscience void of offence toward God, and toward men.” Acts 24:16
Truth: The LORD is watching everything you think and do and will bring you into judgment for it all – all (Proverbs 15:3; 20:11; 23:7; Mark 12:41-44; Romans 14:10, etc.). What’s your judgment going to look like?
“Therefore seeing we have this ministry, as we have received mercy, we faint not; 2 But have renounced the hidden things of dishonesty, not walking in craftiness, nor handling the word of God deceitfully; but by manifestation of the truth commending ourselves to every man’s conscience in the sight of God.” 2 Corinthians 4:1-2
Jesus taught that only the “honest” will be with Him (Luke 8:15). The dishonest, “ALL … liars” will perish irrevocably in the lake of fire (Revelation 21:8). Those who’ve brought harm to others and have the opportunity to restore what they took (financially, emotionally, etc.) prove who they are by what they do or do not do. Those who take personal responsibility for the harm they brought on another, will be blessed. Those who don’t will be shut out, “cut off” from God (Romans 11:20-22).
“Giving no offence in any thing, that the ministry be not blamed: 4 But in all things approving ourselves as the ministers of God, in much patience, in afflictions, in necessities, in distresses,” 2 Corinthians 6:3-4
“He that covereth his sins shall not prosper: but whoso confesseth and forsaketh them shall have mercy.” Proverbs 28:13
Godly Integrity owns up to its personal responsibility to make amends where we have caused hurt. Restitution. A man of godly integrity never runs from his personal responsibility to repair and restore where he has brought harm – with his words, attitudes, or actions. This is exactly what happens when a man truly repents and gives his life to Christ. Zacchaeus is a great example to us of this. Like Zacchaeus, when we truly repent, there will always be good fruit, amends for our wrongdoing. Watch this closely. Watch what this man does after getting right with God:
Luke 19
1 And Jesus entered and passed through Jericho.
2 And, behold, there was a man named Zacchaeus, which was the chief among the publicans, and he was rich.
3 And he sought to see Jesus who he was; and could not for the press, because he was little of stature.
4 And he ran before, and climbed up into a sycomore tree to see him: for he was to pass that way.
5 (the call and command) And when Jesus came to the place, he looked up, and saw him, and said unto him, Zacchaeus, make haste, and come down; for to day I must abide at thy house.
6 (obedience) And he made haste, and came down, and received him joyfully.
7 And when they saw it, they all murmured, saying, That he was gone to be guest with a man that is a sinner. (that’s exactly why Jesus came!)
8 And Zacchaeus stood, and said unto the Lord; Behold, Lord, the half of my goods I give to the poor; and if I have taken any thing from any man by false accusation, I restore him fourfold. (true repentance always brings for the fruit of restitution Matthew 3:7-10)
9 And Jesus said unto him, This day is salvation come to this house, forsomuch as he also is a son of Abraham.
10 For the Son of man is come to seek and to save that which was lost.
As we see in this case with Zacchaeus when he repented, turning to Jesus the Savior, true repentance always brings for the fruit of restitution. See Matthew 3:7-10.
Zacchaeus is a great example. When, if that true repentance happens in his heart, if the sinner, the transgressor allows it, there will be a practical restitution to those he’s harmed by his sin. Soon as he repented he wanted to pay restitution to those he’d harmed.
“Verse 8 is one of the strongest in the Bible on restitution. Salvation does not relieve a person from righting the wrongs of the past. Debts contracted during one’s unconverted days are not canceled by the new birth. And if money was stolen before salvation, then a true sense of the grace of God requires that this money be repaid after a person has become a child of God.” William MacDonald, Believer’s Bible Commentary
There’s no such thing as a person who is right with God and not making restitution for those he’s hurt.
INTEGRITY: If you owe someone $1,000 and can’t pay it all at once, show integrity and send them $ every month or week till you’ve paid them off. If you don’t, you show yourself to be a man who is without integrity (Proverbs 20:7). Soon as you begin paying back, you demonstrate the earnest of your integrity.
Jesus teaches us that we are wasting our time attempting to relate to or pray to the Father in His name if we have issues that need to be clear up with another.
God will not answer the prayer of any person who does not honor and obey His Word and if a person has an outstanding offense He wants them to clear up these matters (Proverbs 28:9, 13).
“Therefore if thou bring thy gift to the altar, and there rememberest that thy brother hath ought against thee; 24 Leave there thy gift before the altar, and go thy way; first be reconciled to thy brother, and then come and offer thy gift.” Matthew 5:23-24
God is not going to bless our lives unless we are willing to sincerely admit our sins, repent and confess them, and make amends (restitution) with anyone we’ve harmed. In the divine economy, there’s no such thing as being right with God when you’ve done another person wrong, haven’t repented, and haven’t made amends for what you’ve done. Such a person will be outside of the will and blessings of God until he makes things right with God and man.
The LORD requires that His people “examine” and “judge” themselves.
“Examine yourselves, whether ye be in the faith; prove your own selves. Know ye not your own selves, how that Jesus Christ is in you, except ye be reprobates? 2 Corinthians 13:5
Examine and honest judge yourself and amend your ways or God will judge you.
“For if we would judge ourselves, we should not be judged. 32 But when we are judged, we are chastened of the Lord, that we should not be condemned with the world.” 1 Corinthians 11:31-32
More Bible Verses on Restitution
Read Exodus 22:1-31
“If a thief be found breaking up (stealing in a burglary, home invasion), and be smitten that he die, there shall no blood be shed for him. 3 If the sun be risen upon him, there shall be blood shed for him; for he should make full restitution; if he have nothing, then he shall be sold for his theft.” Exodus 22:2-3
“Speak unto the children of Israel, When a man or woman shall commit any sin that men commit, to do a trespass against the LORD, and that person be guilty; 7 Then they shall confess their sin which they have done: and he shall recompense his trespass with the principal thereof, and add unto it the fifth part thereof, and give it unto him against whom he hath trespassed.” Numbers 5:6-7
“And surely your blood of your lives will I require; at the hand of every beast will I require it, and at the hand of man; at the hand of every man’s brother will I require the life of man. 6 Whoso sheddeth man’s blood, by man shall his blood be shed: for in the image of God made he man.” Genesis 9:5-6
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TIMES OF REFRESHING FROM THE PRESENCE OF THE LORD! [video]

TIMES OF REFRESHING FROM THE PRESENCE OF THE LORD!
Who’s Ready for Some “RAIN” from Heaven? God desires to refresh His people, to rain His bless-ed mercy, forgiveness, and benefits down on them …. and our part is fresh repentance….
“Sow to yourselves in righteousness, reap in mercy; break up your fallow ground: for it is time to seek the LORD, till he come and rain righteousness upon you.” Hosea 10:12
What are the stated conditions to receive the “rain” of the LORD from Heaven?
- “Sow to yourselves in RIGHTEOUSNESS”
- “reap in MERCY”
- “break up your fallow ground”
- “for it is time to SEEK the LORD”
“till he come and rain righteousness upon you.”
“Repent ye therefore, and be converted, that your sins may be blotted out, when the times of refreshing shall come from the presence of the Lord;” Acts 3:19
“Times of refreshing” will come exclusively to those who turn to the LORD with a whole heart.
A great prayer right this moment is …. Heavenly Father, please grant me to have a pure heart, a poor in spirit heart, and an heart after Thee. In Jesus’ name, amen.
Repentance is dying so that Christ lives and reigns in your life – not you (Matthew 3:7-10; Romans 6).
Adam Clarke on Hosea 10:12:
“Sow to yourselves in righteousness – Let the seed you sow be of the best kind, and in just measure.
Reap in mercy – By the blessing of God on this ploughing, sowing, and harrowing, you may expect a good crop in harvest.
Break up your fallow ground – Do not be satisfied with a slight furrow; let the land that was fallowed (slightly ploughed) be broken up again with a deep furrow.
For it is time to seek the Lord – This should be immediately done: the season is passing; and if you do not get the seed in the ground, the early rain will be past, and your fields will be unfruitful.
Rain righteousness upon you – God will give you the early rain in due time, and in proper measure. Here are the metaphors, and the application cannot be difficult.. Here are ploughing, fallowing, sowing, harrowing, watering, reaping, threshing, and feeding on the produce of well-directed labor. All may be applied to the human heart, and the work of God upon it. Correction, contrition, conversion, receiving the grace of Christ, bringing forth fruit, etc.”
“For I will take you from among the heathen, and gather you out of all countries, and will bring you into your own land. 25 Then will I sprinkle clean water upon you, and ye shall be clean: from all your filthiness, and from all your idols, will I cleanse you. 26 A new heart also will I give you, and a new spirit will I put within you: and I will take away the stony heart out of your flesh, and I will give you an heart of flesh. 27 And I will put my spirit within you, and cause you to walk in my statutes, and ye shall keep my judgments, and do them.” Ezekiel 36:24-27
Most preaching today does not begin at the foundation, does not get to the root cause. This is due to the absence of the original Gospel doctrine of the cross – the divine mandate to be crucified with Christ, which is nowhere to be found coming from the mouths of the “accursed” preachers of “another gospel.” (Galatians 1:6-9)
WHAT do we have without a heart after God? Religion (Acts 13:22).
Most of the social media messages tell us, continually remind us that God loves us but nearly none of them inform us that the God who loves us, sent His Son to die on a cross for us, and requires and commands us to be “crucified with Christ.” (Galatians 2:20; Romans 8:29; Colossians 3:3) Beware of the half-truth false gospel of today! We must walk in the original Gospel – all of it – if we are to escape and not be “Led away with the error of the wicked.” (2 Peter 3:17)
Prescription for those heavy in heart: Read God’s Word. Read it repeatedly, perpetually, daily. NOTHING REPLACES BIBLE READING AND NEVER WILL.
Times of Fasting and prayer gets YOU out of the way so Jesus can reign supreme! Isaiah 58
You are not serious about overcoming sin if you’re not yet setting apart regular times of fasting and prayer. The fact that you don’t want to fast is the clear proof that you need to fast. Currently, your flesh is in control! Once you are broken, you will delight in, you will look forward to those times of regular fasting! Read Isaiah 58. | The Amazing Benefits of Fasting and Prayer
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