IF a person is not learning the cross – learning to walk the crucified life – should you be entertaining marrying them?
Attempting to put a relationship together that is not absolutely ordained of God – is a death trap that will take you places you don’t want to go, keep you longer than you want to stay, and cost you more than you want to pay. Years of derailment lie in such a trap and Satan is stalking and setting those traps to snare you (2 Corinthians 2:11; 1 Peter 5:8). The enemy has sunk many a ship, a life this way. Beware of pushing, of propelling something that God is not in, is not clearly opening the door for you to flow into. He never sleeps, slumbers, not misses His cue (Psalms 121:4). Beware beloved of God. Your life is His and He has a plan, a direction, a person. You are HIS – purchased by His very and precious blood (1 Corinthians 6:9-10; 2 Corinthians 6:14).
SO do you actually, vainly believe God is going to trap one of His beloved children in a marriage with you – while you refuse to die the death, to be truly crucified with Christ – laying down your life to serve Him and others? Not going to happen. Such would be a sinister indictment on the Almighty. If you are going to rebel in selfishness, in cross-lessness, God is going to allow you to soak and even perish in your own corruption and misery. He’s not going to join you with one of His beloved daughters, a handmaid of His kingdom, unless you lay down your life for real and live the crucified life (Galatians 2:20). You are only kidding yourself to think such a thing.
“Let nothing be done through strife or vainglory; but in lowliness of mind let each esteem other better than themselves. 4 Look not every man on his own things, but every man also on the things of others. 5 Let this mind be in you, which was also in Christ Jesus:” Philippians 2:3-5
UNMARRIED and praying for that godly mate? The prep is for us to come into that relationship SERVING, to serve beloved. Read that sentence again please. When God brings two of His children together, they come to humbly serve, serve, serve God and their mate. God-fearing marriage prep: Read and pray these passages each morning: Matthew 20:24-28; Philippians 2:3-5.
“No Christian should be shocked at the alarming increase in singleness. Marriage is not friend of selfishness and we are a self-serving society.” Dale P.
Get back to the cross beloved – where you are daily dead and buried and Christ is raising your life upward, resurrecting you into His perfect will and blessings.
“Always bearing about in the body the dying of the Lord Jesus, that the life also of Jesus might be made manifest in our body. 11 For we which live are alway delivered unto death for Jesus’ sake, that the life also of Jesus might be made manifest in our mortal flesh. 12 So then death worketh in us, but life in you.” 2 Corinthians 4:10-12
Why would the LORD join one of His authentic disciples in marriage to a counterfeit? He wouldn’t.
“Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness?” 2 Corinthians 6:14
Beloved of God – your choices are narrow as is the way to eternal glory wherein only a “few” walk (Matthew 7:13-14) Right? As you step back and meditate upon these truths, the realization of what God desires for you in holy matrimony will begin to come to focus. Equally yoked is His stated will.
Though nearly never heard, the cross, the crucified life is at the center of Christ’s original Gospel message and the determining factor as to who is real and who is not (Luke 9:23-24). Today, begin hand writing and memorizing Bible verses on the cross life, the crucified life – which is the only way to walk with Jesus. Otherwise sin reigns.
The person not walking the crucified life is not following Jesus – regardless of their personal claim (Matthew 16:24-25).
Either Jesus, the cross He prescribes, will crucify sin out of your life – or, sin will crucify the holy Savior out of your life.
Read Romans 6 each morning this week. | The Cross Lifestyle
“It is more blessed to give than to receive.” Acts 20:35
Life truth: Your whole life is ordained by your Maker, your Redeemer – to worship and love and serve Him and to humbly serve others, with His joy and delight. Pour prayerfully over Matthew 22:37-40. If you will embrace, will choose to capture and walk out this truth, your life will be blessed by God. There are no shortcuts.
“Be someone who wants to bring added value
into the life of another, not just someone who wants to be married.
That’s what mature marriage-readiness requires.” unknown
“Esther wasn’t looking for a husband, yet, God gave her a king. Ruth wasn’t looking for a husband, yet, God gave her a redeemer. Adam wasn’t searching for a wife, yet, God gave him his helpmeet. Stop searching and allow God to give you what you need.” @dearfuturehim
“Ladies, I know we say ‘times have changed’, but never pursue a man, no matter how much you love him. Not only is it against the order of God, it violates even the laws of nature. Soil doesn’t chase seed. The seed must come to the soil. As flattering as it is for a man to be pursued by a woman, no self-respecting man derives any satisfaction from that. And, as a woman, it diminishes your stature and worth in the man’s eyes. Let him pursue you. If he doesn’t, he’s not the one. No man who wants a woman is shy. Even if he’s naturally reserved, when he find a woman he likes, he will step up to the plate. Don’t make excuses for him.” Mogotsi D Baloyi
Beloved, each and every morning as you awake, let the following divinely inspired words roll out of your heart and lips as your prayer… and declaration:
“I am crucified with Christ: nevertheless I live; yet not I, but Christ liveth in me: and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by the faith of the Son of God, who loved me, and gave himself for me.” Galatians 2:20
Marriage is the perfect opportunity to be crucified with Christ, fueling your life with divine grace to humbly serve your mate – daily, perpetually. Jesus-glorifying marriages are to make us holy, not necessarily always happy. Yet, to be truly happy, one must commit to the One who is “Holy, holy, holy” and commands us to “Be ye holy; for I am holy” (Isaiah 6:3; 1 Peter 1:15-16; Revelation 4:8). When we are set apart to the LORD (definition of holy). We are then and only then enjoying true happiness, joy – no matter what’s transpiring around us (James 1:2-4; 1 Peter 1:7-8).
If you are not going to put Jesus first, you are simply choosing not to be His – you are making the decision to reject the Son of God (Matthew 6:24; 12:30).
Jesus must be first – or you are not His. Yes, it’s a salvation issue. Begin with repenting friend (Revelation 2:4-5).
“If any man come to me, and hate not his father, and mother, and wife, and children, and brethren, and sisters, yea, and his own life also, he cannot be my disciple.” Luke 14:26
PRAYER of an unmarried born again disciple for a truly God fearing mate: Holy Father, break me, do Your deeper work in this vessel, all the way to the core of this being. Jesus, please bless this life to be truly, continually, daily crucified with You dear LORD. Teach me Thy ways – to love and serve You first then all others. Please make me Your authentic disciple. Let every trace of evil, of deceit, of self-idolatry, fakery, self-idolatry, of spiritual adultery be crucified in this life dear LORD. Please anoint this vessel to the death and burial of the self-life that You alone might reign and this life may be a light for Your bless-ed and eternal glory – first serving You, my mate, and others. In Jesus’ Name, amen. Father on Your earth, You have an unmarried man/woman, who is Yours and is praying, is asking You for a godly mate…. please unite us, bring us together as You did with Your beloved Isaac and Rebekah, according to Your perfect will LORD, in the name of Jesus Christ.
Read the story of God bringing together Isaac and Rebekah in Genesis 24.
The Cross Saturated Life – the only Victorious way to Live
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Abiding
The Death before the Death [podcast]

Gethsemane Preceded Calvary
“And he was withdrawn from them about a stone’s cast, and kneeled down, and prayed, 42 Saying, Father, if thou be willing, remove this cup from me: nevertheless not my will, but thine, be done. 43 And there appeared an angel unto him from heaven, strengthening him. 44 And being in an agony he prayed more earnestly: and his sweat was as it were great drops of blood falling down to the ground.” Luke 22:42-44
“He must increase, but I must decrease.” John 3:30
“Always bearing about in the body the dying of the Lord Jesus, that the life also of Jesus might be made manifest in our body. 11 For we which live are alway delivered unto death for Jesus’ sake, that the life also of Jesus might be made manifest in our mortal flesh. 12 So then death worketh in us, but life in you.” 2 Corinthians 4:10-12
“And he said to them all, If any man will come after me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross daily, and follow me. 24 For whosoever will save his life shall lose it: but whosoever will lose his life for my sake, the same shall save it. 25 For what is a man advantaged, if he gain the whole world, and lose himself, or be cast away?” Luke 9:23-25

Shall We Freshly Declare the Cross to be Front and Center in our Personal Lives?
“I am crucified with Christ: nevertheless I live; yet not I, but Christ liveth in me: and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by the faith of the Son of God, who loved me, and gave himself for me.” Galatians 2:20
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Abiding
“Rend Your Heart, and Not Your Garments” [podcast]

Who Does God Look to? Who Does God Dwell in?
Beware of any man pretending to represent Christ who isn’t praying and preaching for you to be possessed by a humble and contrite heart.
“Blessed are the poor in spirit: for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.” Matthew 5:3
“‘Blessed are the poor in spirit: for theirs is the kingdom of heaven’ (Matthew 5:3). A low condition. ‘Blessed are they that mourn: for they shall be comforted’ (Matthew 5:4). To mourn over our sin and our utter wickedness before a holy and righteous God. Those are the ones who will receive the comfort and ‘joy in the Holy Ghost’ (Romans 14:17).” Karen Cochran
Abandoning Our Own Sin, Our Own Way, for God and His Better Way!
To “rend your heart” is a biblical phrase meaning to tear open your heart in radical sincerity, true humility, and genuine repentance.
The phrase comes from Joel 2:13 in the Bible: “Rend your heart and not your garments and return to the Lord your God.”
One source notes the following:
“Context and Deeper Meaning:
- Cultural Background: In ancient times, the Jewish people would tear (rend) their clothes as a public, highly visible display of grief or repentance.
- The Spiritual Message: God is warning that outward rituals (like ripping clothing) are meaningless if the heart remains unchanged. Rending your heart implies breaking through your pride, letting go of excuses, and being completely vulnerable and authentic before God.
- The Reward: The verse goes on to say that God is “gracious and compassionate, slow to anger and abounding in love.” Tearing open your heart allows you to experience His forgiveness and restore your relationship with Him.”
To see an example of rending one’s physical garment in representation of rending their heart, see Acts 14:11-18.
Where is the LORD Looking?
“But the Lord said unto Samuel, Look not on his countenance, or on the height of his stature; because I have refused him: for the Lord seeth not as man seeth; for man looketh on the outward appearance, but the Lord looketh on the heart.” 1 Samuel 16:7
“Therefore also now, saith the Lord, turn ye even to me with all your heart, and with fasting, and with weeping, and with mourning: 13 and rend your heart, and not your garments, and turn unto the Lord your God: for he is gracious and merciful, slow to anger, and of great kindness, and repenteth him of the evil. 14Who knoweth if he will return and repent, and leave a blessing behind him; even a meat offering and a drink offering unto the Lord your God” Joel 2:12-14
“What a gracious invitation is contained in these words. How tenderly the Lord reasons with his people. And what an encouraging assurance it folds up with. Reader! do not fail to observe that this call of the Lord, the accompanying grace to incline the heart to the observance of it is implied. It is most blessed ever to remember that when the Lord thus comes forth in his endearing invitations, he is secretly inclining the heart to accept them. Grace must first enter the heart, or there will be no inclination to obey.” Robert Hawker
“Jeremiah’s message was never meant to leave the heart in despair. Every warning from God carried an invitation to return. The Lord does not expose empty religion to shame His people, but to heal them. Repentance is not the loss of hope, it is the beginning of hope. Christ still receives every soul that comes with humility, and He gives living faith where there was only habit, peace where there was only fear, and joy where there was only emptiness. The call remains the same today, to draw near to Him with a sincere heart, trusting that His mercy is always greater than our weakness.” Dan Blincoe
A Fresh Start with God Always Begins with Humility and True Repentance
“Repent ye therefore, and be converted, that your sins may be blotted out, when the times of refreshing shall come from the presence of the Lord.” Acts 3:19
“Therefore also now, saith the Lord, turn ye even to me with all your heart, and with fasting, and with weeping, and with mourning: 13 and rend your heart, and not your garments, and turn unto the Lord your God: for he is gracious and merciful, slow to anger, and of great kindness, and repenteth him of the evil. 14Who knoweth if he will return and repent, and leave a blessing behind him; even a meat offering and a drink offering unto the Lord your God?” Joel 2:12-14
Concerning rending our hearts before the LORD, one source notes:
The classic Bible passage on this concept is Joel 2:13, where God commands: “Rend your heart and not your garments”. In ancient biblical culture, tearing (or “rending”) one’s physical clothing was a customary, visible display of extreme grief, despair, or repentance. Through the prophet Joel, God is essentially telling His people: Stop doing the empty, outward religious ritual of tearing your clothes to show everyone how sorry you are. Instead, let me see true, inward brokenness over your sins.
Examples of Rending Physical Garments
In the Bible, the physical act of tearing clothes was used as a dramatic expression of deep emotion in several well-known narratives:
- Joseph’s Brothers (Genesis 37:29, 34): When Reuben realized Joseph was not in the pit, and later when the brothers brought Joseph’s blood-stained coat to Jacob, they tore their clothes in grief and despair.
- Job (Job 1:20): After hearing that he had lost all his wealth and his children, Job stood up and tore his robe as an outward sign of his overwhelming sorrow.
- King David (2 Samuel 1:11-12): When David received news of the deaths of King Saul and Jonathan, he and his men tore their clothes to mourn.
- The High Priest (Matthew 26:65): In a dramatic display of hypocritical outrage, the high priest tore his own garments when Jesus declared He was the Son of God, falsely accusing Him of blasphemy.
The Spiritual Meaning of “Rending the Heart”
The concept of “rending the heart” contrasts an outward show with inward reality.
- Genuine Repentance: Tearing your heart means being vulnerable, acknowledging your brokenness, and deeply repenting of sin before God.
- Prioritizing Relationships over Rituals: God desires a sincere heart—true sorrow and a desire to change—more than he desires traditional religious pageantry or dramatic, public displays of grief.
- The Promise of Forgiveness: In Joel 2:13, the command to rend the heart is immediately followed by the promise of grace: “Return to the LORD your God, for he is gracious and compassionate, slow to anger and abounding in love”.
God sees beyond our external habits and religious actions, requiring instead a humble, contrite heart to fully experience His mercy.”
God’s Mercy
“Therefore also now, saith the LORD, turn ye even to me with all your heart, and with fasting, and with weeping, and with mourning: 13 And rend your heart, and not your garments, and turn unto the LORD your God: for he is gracious and merciful, slow to anger, and of great kindness, and repenteth him of the evil. 14 Who knoweth if he will return and repent, and leave a blessing behind him; even a meat offering and a drink offering unto the LORD your God?” Joel 2:12-14
In God’s Word, where we see men who tear open their garments…. This holds the illustration of rending our hearts before the LORD.
Don’t render outward tearing, no, rather, tear open your inner man, your heart—be honest, sincere, exposed, and vulnerable to the LORD whom you trust.
Let’s attempt to get at, to ascertain what God is commanding of His beloved people to do in this “rend your heart” passage.
“Joel 2:13: Rend your heart—Let it not be merely a rending of your garments, but let your hearts be truly contrite. Merely external worship and hypocritical pretensions will only increase the evil, and cause God to meet you with heavier judgments.
For he is gracious—Good and benevolent in his own nature.
Merciful—Pitying and forgiving, as the effect of goodness and benevolence.
Slow to anger —He is not easily provoked to punish, because he is gracious and merciful.
Of great kindness—Exuberant goodness to all them that return to him.
And repenteth him of the evil—Is ever ready to change his purpose to destroy, when he finds the culprit willing to be saved. See the notes on Exo_34:6, Exo_34:7.” Adam Clarke
“Joel 2:12-14: III. DIVINE APPEAL TO JUDAH TO REPENT (2:12-14)
Even now, the LORD calls the people to repentance. It is not too late to return to Him. But it must be more than outward ritual. Their turning was to be with all their heart, with fasting, with weeping, and with mourning.” Believer’s Bible Commentary
To rend our hearts is the consistent message, mandate of God to His people of all ages and eras.
“The Lord is nigh unto them that are of a broken heart; and saveth such as be of a contrite spirit.” Psalms 34:18
“The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit: a broken and a contrite heart, O God, thou wilt not despise.” Psalms 51:17
In Joel 2 the LORD reminds those who are backslidden that He “is gracious and merciful, slow to anger, and of great kindness, and repenteth him of the evil. 14 Who knoweth if he will return and repent, and leave a blessing behind him; even a meat offering and a drink offering unto the LORD your God? …”
They must meet His stated conditions to receive His blessings ….
He promises that He will forgive them as they…..
“Joel 2:12-27: THE AVERTING OF JUDGMENT
To rend the garment is easy, but a broken and contrite heart can be imparted only by the grace of the Holy Spirit. The love of God should bring us to repentance. He takes no pleasure in our miseries and if men repent and turn from their sin they find an immediate and loving welcome to the Father’s heart and home. Joel had called for the trumpet to announce war; he now directs the trumpet blast to summon the people, from the highest to the lowest, to plead for help. Prayer and true repentance and faith bring an immediate answer. As the husband yearns over his erring but repentant wife, and is indignant with those who have maltreated her, so will Jehovah remove from us, when we turn to Him, those who have cruelly oppressed us.
The great things Jehovah did against Egypt and Babylon are an earnest of what He will do again. The earth (and all the creation of God) … have good reason to rejoice in what awaits them. God promises not only to forgive sin, but to make us happy and well provided as if the locust and cankerworm had never settled upon our lives.” FB Meyer
Religious hypocrites, counterfeits, emphasize the outward to cover their inner darkness, rebellion.
“Woe unto you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! for ye pay tithe of mint and anise and cummin, and have omitted the weightier matters of the law, judgment, mercy, and faith: these ought ye to have done, and not to leave the other undone. 24 Ye blind guides, which strain at a gnat, and swallow a camel. 25 Woe unto you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! for ye make clean the outside of the cup and of the platter, but within they are full of extortion and excess. Matthew 23:23-25
“He answered and said unto them, Well hath Esaias prophesied of you hypocrites, as it is written, This people honoureth me with their lips, but their heart is far from me.” Mark 7:6
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Articles
God and His Word are Unchanging [podcast]

Because God is Unchanging, So is His Word
“For I am the Lord, I change not; therefore ye sons of Jacob are not consumed.” Malachi 3:6
“Which keepeth truth for ever” – Is the Bible “Archaic”? No. Divine truth is everlasting. Has no expiration date. You cannot escape accountability to it, to Him. It’s an open book test. The Savior says “Heaven and earth shall pass away: but my words shall not pass away” (Mark 13:31). Divine truth is eternal, unchanging, and binding upon all men (Psalms 146:6; Malachi 3:6, etc.).
Every time you open God’s Word and begin reading, you are hearing the voice of God.
“But of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, thou shalt not eat of it: for in the day that thou eatest thereof thou shalt surely die.” Genesis 2:17
“Now the serpent was more subtil than any beast of the field which the Lord God had made. And he said unto the woman, Yea, hath God said, Ye shall not eat of every tree of the garden?” Genesis 3:1 (the devil questions God’s Word, questions what God says in His Word.)
“And the serpent said unto the woman, Ye shall NOT surely die.” Genesis 3:4
“Every word of God is pure: he is a shield unto them that put their trust in him. 6 Add thou not unto his words, lest he reprove thee, and thou be found a liar.” Proverbs 30:5-6
“For I testify unto every man that heareth the words of the prophecy of this book, If any man shall add unto these things, God shall add unto him the plagues that are written in this book: 19 and if any man shall take away from the words of the book of this prophecy, God shall take away his part out of the book of life, and out of the holy city, and from the things which are written in this book.” Revelation 22:18-19
“Ye shall not add unto the word which I command you, neither shall ye diminish ought from it, that ye may keep the commandments of the Lord your God which I command you.” Deuteronomy 4:2
“For we are not as many, which corrupt the word of God: but as of sincerity, but as of God, in the sight of God speak we in Christ.” 2 Corinthians 2:17
“Ye have perverted the words of the living God, of the LORD of hosts our God.” Jeremiah 23:36
“all the words that I command thee to speak unto them; diminish not a word:” Jeremiah 26:2
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