Unmarried and Desire a Godly Mate?

ATTN UNMARRIED DISCIPLE: A person who isn’t consumed with Christ does NOT qualify for you! Dare we waste the one life God gives us on earth married to an enemy of Christ?

Though there are other natural attractions, the primary attraction between unmarried Christians must be Christ!

ARE YOU UNMARRIED? – “Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness?” (2 Corinthians 6:14)

IF you are truly born again, you are not looking for A mate who isn’t (2 Corinthians 6:14).

ATTENTION UNMARRIED CHRISTIAN: KNOW exactly what you are looking for! Make no excuse for anyone! Never mind the “but but but he’s this or she’s that….” Refuse to prop someone up! Discern, look for their real fruit! Do they talk about Jesus? Are they learning God’s Word? Are they laying down their life daily, denying self to serve Jesus and others? (Matthew 22:37-40) If they aren’t truly born again, unashamed of and serving Jesus daily – RUN! If they don’t honor you as Jesus would have all Christians do, RUN! Otherwise, you are walking into a trap of un-expressible horror/proportions! Just ask another believer who has married a counterfeit!

The young woman who was the person God used to get me saved, stood firm in Christ. We were attracted to each other physically, but she wasted no time telling me (at that time still a sinner) that I needed to get saved or she would have no relationship with me. She knew this 2 Corinthians 6:14 verse well and lived it. She was physically stunning by the way and not about to sacrifice her life with Christ for any man, though she desired marriage ultimately.

IT DOES NOT matter how much you WANT/WISH someone is saved-that DOES NOT mean they are! fruit!

IF you are entertaining the thought of marrying someone who is not grounded soundly in God’s Word and love, you are walking into an unequal yoking trap and will suffer long for such.

IF someone doesn’t esteem and highly honor the work of Christ in you and your calling to humbly serve Him, they are not God’s gift/mate for you. It’s a closed door. Check out how Abigail addresses David who later became her husband. Read this closely, prayerfully.

If she/he’s not turned on by your life in Christ, he/she’s a counterfeit!

ARE you unmarried and praying for a godly mate for an equally yoked marriage? Amen. Try finding someone else in the same state and lift them up to the LORD in prayer. Give your life in prayer for other of Christ’s saints. Acts 20:35, amen?

The Abigail and David Example

Recently a brother in Christ told me about a Christian lady he is courting. He said: “She’s very sweet and very caring and she respects me. She honors me.”

Wow now this is the kind of godly person every unmarried Christian should pray for, right?

“(Abigail speaking to David) I pray thee, forgive the trespass of thine handmaid: for the LORD will certainly make my lord a sure house; because my lord fighteth the battles of the LORD, and evil hath not been found in thee all thy days. 29  Yet a man is risen to pursue thee, and to seek thy soul: but the soul of my lord shall be bound in the bundle of life with the LORD thy God; and the souls of thine enemies, them shall he sling out, as out of the middle of a sling. 30 And it shall come to pass, when the LORD shall have done to my lord according to all the good that he hath spoken concerning thee, and shall have appointed thee ruler over Israel; 31 That this shall be no grief unto thee, nor offence of heart unto my lord, either that thou hast shed blood causeless, or that my lord hath avenged himself: but when the LORD shall have dealt well with my lord, then remember thine handmaid.” 1 Samuel 25:28-31

David’s response to Abigail was equally as godly and endearing:

“And David said to Abigail, Blessed be the LORD God of Israel, which sent thee this day to meet me: 33 And blessed be thy advice, and blessed be thou, which hast kept me this day from coming to shed blood, and from avenging myself with mine own hand. 34 For in very deed, as the LORD God of Israel liveth, which hath kept me back from hurting thee, except thou hadst hasted and come to meet me, surely there had not been left unto Nabal by the morning light any that pisseth against the wall. 35 So David received of her hand that which she had brought him, and said unto her, Go up in peace to thine house; see, I have hearkened to thy voice, and have accepted thy person.” 1 Samuel 25:32-35

When Nabal, her first husband died, David sent for Abigail to be his wife. Her response was fabulously godly:

And when the servants of David were come to Abigail to Carmel, they spake unto her, saying, David sent us unto thee, to take thee to him to wife. 41 And she arose, and bowed herself on her face to the earth, and said, Behold, let thine handmaid be a servant to wash the feet of the servants of my lord. 42 And Abigail hasted, and arose, and rode upon an ass, with five damsels of hers that went after her; and she went after the messengers of David, and became his wife.” 1 Samuel 25:40-42

Dear Unmarried Christian: ARE YOU praying and looking for someone who is rich this fleeting world? Or, are you truly Christ’s and therefore sanctified and looking for someone who is rich in Christ, in faith, in humility, and in the Scriptures?

Is your view of success God’s? What do the Scriptures teach? So very many unmarried people looking for someone who is successful in this world instead of a successful, cross-bearing disciple of Christ. Ungodly, Carnal, Self-serving, Horrible marriage coming for those who choose unwisely-outside of the truth of Scripture. Are you looking for a true disciple or someone who loves this present, fleeting world and is therefore the enemy of Christ? (lUKE 16:15; jAMES 4:4; 1 jOHN 2:15-17)

IF you are making excuses for someone’s rebellion instead of honestly assessing the situation, that’s going to come back to haunt you! FRUIT! (Matthew 3:7-10; 7:16, 20)

It’s REAL SIMPLE: When a person is right with God: They live to serve God and others, not self! (Matthew 22:37-40)

The LORD was using her and she invited me to a tent meeting where for the first time in my life, I heard the Gospel of the grace of God in Christ Jesus and was saved.

CLUE for the unmarried: If 2 people aren’t FINDING ways to be together, that’s a closed door.

If you are unmarried and desire a mate, step back and evaluate whether or not the person or people you may be considering are truly and genuinely born again.

Recently, a sister in Christ who desires to be married asked me what she should be looking for in a man. She said she has had several relationships with men who claim to be Christians, but the fruit of their daily lives did not testify to a relationship with Christ.  I told her that if a man is not first born again, confessing Jesus, engaging in a life of prayer with Jesus, and in the Word of God daily, he is not a true disciple and not a candidate for a God-fearing woman.

What are you doing to demonstrate to Christ that you are prepared to serve your mate in marriage? The cross – where we are serving Jesus and others, not self – is the only way a godly, good relationship can happen. Is the cross in your personal life and therefore your relationships? The Daily Cross

The LORD MUST be First, Not Your Mate!

God is Jealous! (Exodus 34:14) He will not be second to anyone but MUST be your “FIRST love” – first priority in all things (Revelation 2:4-5). It’s only out of the life that is truly loving, worshipping, obeying God that HIS divine love will flow and make marriage ultimate! The cross!

Jeni Marie Lorance writes:

“But we must beware of the tendency to begin to love our spouse more than our God. Then it becomes a curse. Noone comes before GOD.

There was a time I desired so much a spouse. The Lord told me, “You want him so badly…but I want you and your ignoring me.”

Let that NEVER be said of me again.
Now I say, “Lord, I’d rather live single and do your will and be passionately in love with YOU. ”

And I mean it. (And God knows I mean it)

It’s better to be in love with God and have noone than to be on love with someone else and our relationship with God suffer.

But of course you can have both thriving.”