Unconditional Love and Acceptance?

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Martin Bobgan, PhD.

Among the stellar emotional needs of humanistic psychology are unconditional acceptance, unconditional self-regard, unconditional self-acceptance, and unconditional love. The meaning of the word unconditional is “without conditions or reservations; absolute.”1 The practical extension of the theories of unconditional love is a permissive attitude and a morally nonrestrictive atmosphere. That means no conditions or restrictions in child rearing, counseling, and other human relationships. Since the parent or counselor is to be giving unconditional love, it must be an absolute love, unrestricted by human feelings or failings, since the very meaning of the word is “absolute.” But, if there is any absolute when it comes to love, it is that human love is limited. It is not what it was originally created to be, even in the best of people and circumstances, except when Jesus Himself is loving in and through a person.

Adler and Maslow considered these “unconditionals” to be basic human needs, essential to a person’s sense of wellbeing. They taught that people need to be loved and accepted unconditionally—without any conditions of performance. Thus their followers teach that parents must love and accept their children unconditionally. Moreover, they encourage all people to love and accept themselves unconditionally.

Adler, Maslow, Rogers and others believed that a human being will find answers to his own dilemmas and naturally blossom into his best self in an atmosphere of unconditional love and acceptance, by which they meant a permissive, unstructured atmosphere. Nevertheless, as much as they would like to think that they themselves loved their clients unconditionally, the truth of the matter is this: people are not able to love unconditionally.

The Myth of Unconditional Love

Unconditional love is a myth. That is because the human is naturally self-biased and the human heart is so deceitful that one can fool himself into thinking that he is loving unconditionally, when in fact he has all kinds of conditions. For instance, what kind of unconditional love and unconditional positive regard is at work when the client can no longer pay for services and therapy is discontinued? Furthermore, even the most nondirective counselors express approval or disapproval in subtle, if not direct, ways.2

The idea of people improving their life in an atmosphere of unconditional love is founded on the premise that people are born good and that their natural inclination to goodness is thwarted by their environment (mainly parents). In such a system, self is the victim of society but finds salvation, freedom, and fulfillment through unconditional self-love and self-acceptance. Unconditional love cannot be based upon performance or it wouldn’t be unconditional. Therefore, it must be based on the intrinsic worth of the person. Paul Brownback, in his book The Danger of Self-Love, explains it this way:

. . . by unconditional love we are speaking of love on the basis of being rather than doing. One implication of this teaching is the place of grandeur that it gives to the human being. I am lovable just because I am human; therefore being human, in and of itself, regardless of what I do with my humanness, must have some sort of independent value or worth. It is by itself a sufficient claim to respect and esteem.3

Thus, according to these self theories, everyone is born with the right to receive unconditional love and unconditional acceptance throughout his entire life, no matter what!

Pastors assigned to shepherd God’s flocks, should have been alert to the subtleties of deception that would turn a believer’s eyes from God to self. But alas, rather than warning the sheep, many of the shepherds have joined the psychologists and embrace their teachings of unconditional love and unconditional acceptance.

A Misunderstanding of God’s Love

The basis for their eager embrace is a misunderstanding of the love of God which passes knowledge. They equate unconditional love and acceptance with the fact that God’s love is vast, unfathomable, and unmerited. Then they follow that with the idea that if God loves and accepts people unconditionally, they should also love and accept themselves unconditionally. While this may sound like a logical progression, there are some serious problems with the basic assumptions. Therefore, we must address the question: Is God’s love unconditional? Are there any conditions that must be met to become a recipient of His love?

Paul prayed that the believers in Ephesus would be able to comprehend the breadth, length, depth and height of God’s love. He desired that they know the love of Christ, which surpasses knowledge, so that they would be filled with the fullness of God (Ephesians 3:16-19). The wide expanse of God’s love has been the theme of the gospel throughout the ages, for to know His love is to know Him. Therefore, any consideration of His love is highly important and must be based upon His revelation of Himself rather than upon the imagination of men.

Love According to Secular Humanism

Ever since the rise of secular humanism in this country and especially since the establishment of humanistic psychology, the popular, “relevant” term to describe God’s love has been unconditional. The thrust of this word in humanistic psychology has been both to give and to expect unconditional love from one another with no strings attached. While unconditional love and acceptance supposedly promote change and growth, they make no requirements. But God, who is love, requires and produces radical change—new life—and He enables His children to grow in righteousness.

In humanistic psychology, parents and society are always the culprits. Since they believe that every person is born with intrinsic worth and innate goodness, psychologists contend that one main reason people experience emotional and behavioral problems is because they have not received unconditional love from their parents. Following that thesis, Christians have come to believe that the best kind of love is unconditional love. It is the highest love secular humanists know. It is touted as a love that makes no demands for performance, good behavior, or the like. It has also been associated with a kind of permissiveness, since it makes no demands and has no conditions, even though the promoters of the unconditional love jargon would say that unconditional love does not have to dispense with discipline.

God’s Love Revealed through Scripture

Because the concept of unconditional love permeates society and because it is often thought of as the highest form of human love, it is natural for a Christian to use this term to describe God. After all, His love is far greater than any human love imaginable. God’s love for humanity is so great that “He gave His only begotten Son that whosoever believeth in Him should not perish, but have everlasting life” (John 3:16). Oh, the magnitude of the cost! We cannot even fathom His love even though our very breath depends upon it! His love indeed reaches to the heights and depths. Nevertheless, is God’s love truly unconditional?

God’s love is available to human beings by grace alone. There is nothing anyone can do to earn that love. There is no good work that is either demanded or even possible. Does that make God’s love unconditional? Because unconditional love is absolute and without any conditions whatsoever, all men would be saved if God’s love were unconditional. But that would be universalism. That would nullify the need for Christ’s sacrificial death and God’s condition of salvation by grace through faith.

We must also ask, does God’s love apply to the person who has sinned against the Holy Spirit by refusing to receive His grace throughout his lifetime and who is destined for hell? God chooses upon whom He will place His love and the benefits of his love. Did Jesus ever imply that God’s love is unconditional? He said to His disciples:

He that hath my commandments, and keepeth them, he it is that loveth me: and he that loveth me shall be loved of my Father, and I will love him, and will manifest myself to him (John 14:21).

One might argue, however, that the story of the prodigal son proves unconditional love. It indeed illustrates the vastness of God’s love, forgiveness and longsuffering. However, the son repented. If he had had a prosperous evil life he may never have repented. And while the father would have waited and hoped, he would not have extended his love. After all, he did not go out searching for him to support his folly. Up to a point this seems to indicate unconditional love, and yet, God is not waiting in ignorance, not knowing what those for whom His son died might be doing. He knows, and there comes a time when those who have refused his offer of love and forgiveness die and face the judgment. It is difficult enough to understand God’s love without adding the term unconditional which is loaded with secular, humanistic, psychological connotations. The story of the prodigal son teaches grace, forgiveness and mercy—but unconditional love? No!

While God loves with a greater love than humans can comprehend, His holiness and justice also must be taken into consideration. Therefore the term unconditional love is inadequate for defining God. It does not account for God’s reaction to pompous men who devise plans against Him and His anointed. The psalmist goes so far as to say:

He that sitteth in the heavens shall laugh: the Lord shall have them in derision. Then shall he speak to them in his wrath, and vex them in his sore displeasure (Psalm 2:4-5).

And what about Lot’s wife as she turned to look at the smoldering cities? Or what about Jesus’ words to the cities that refused to repent?

Woe unto thee, Chorazin! woe unto thee, Bethsaida! for if the mighty works, which were done in you, had been done in Tyre and Sidon, they would have repented long ago in sackcloth and ashes. But I say unto you, It shall be more tolerable for Tyre and Sidon at the day of judgment, than for you. And thou, Capernaum, which art exalted unto heaven, shalt be brought down to hell . . . . it shall be more tolerable for the land of Sodom in the day of judgment, than for thee (Matthew 11:21-24).

Does that sound like unconditional love?

But perhaps one could say that God’s love for the Christian is unconditional since the Christian partakes of His love and grace through faith. Wouldn’t it be better to say that the conditions have been met? Jesus met the first condition, to wash away the sin that God hates. The believer meets the second condition by grace through faith. Or, perhaps it would be better to say that God’s love extended to a person is conditioned by His plan to give eternal life to those who believe on His Son. The conditions of God’s love are resident within Himself.

There is a strong temptation to use vocabulary that is popular in society in order to make Christianity sound relevant. Christians have something far better than what the world offers, but in expressing that good news they confuse people by using words that are already loaded with humanistic connotations and systems of thought. It would be better not to use the expression unconditional love when describing God’s love. There are plenty of other good words.

In this was manifested the love of God toward us, because that God sent his only begotten Son into the world, that we might live through him.

Herein is love, not that we loved God, but that He loved us, and sent his Son to be the propitiation for our sins. . . .
And we have known and believed the love that God hath to us. God is love; and he that dwelleth in love dwelleth in God, and God in him (1 John 4:9, 10, 16).

The incomprehensible magnitude of God’s love surpasses any concept of love devised by humanistic psychologists. The doctrine of unconditional love is a myth that glorifies man rather than God.

1. Webster’s New Universal Unabridged Dictionary, Second Edition, 1983.
2. Jay Haley. Strategies of Psychotherapy. New York: Grune & Stratton, Inc., 1963, pp. 71, 82.
3. Paul Brownback. The Danger of Self-Love. Chicago: Moody Press, 1982, p. 66.

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“1 And you hath he quickened, who were dead in trespasses and sins;
2 Wherein in time past ye walked according to the course of this world, according to the prince of the power of the air, the spirit that now worketh in the children of disobedience:
3 Among whom also we all had our conversation in times past in the lusts of our flesh, fulfilling the desires of the flesh and of the mind; and were by nature the children of wrath, even as others.
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Dancing on Hell’s Grave: Why We Need not Fear Death: Resurrection Joy – Fearless in Death [podcast]

Resurrection Joy – Fearless in Death

– Dancing on Hell’s Grave

“But whoso hearkeneth unto me shall dwell safely, and shall be quiet from fear of evil.” Proverbs 1:33

Dancing on Fear’s Grave!

“O death, where is thy sting? O grave, where is thy victory?” 1 Corinthians 15:55

Those who are ready to die and be with Jesus do not fear death (1 John 4:16-18).

Eternal perspective. Hope for eternal rest, glory with Christ and the Father.

In Christ, when we close our eyes in death, we awake to the resurrection bliss of eternal joy with Him who is “the resurrection and the life” (John 11:25).

“For if the dead rise not, then is not Christ raised: 17 And if Christ be not raised, your faith is vain; ye are yet in your sins. 18 Then they also which are fallen asleep in Christ are perished. 19 If in this life only we have hope in Christ, we are of all men most miserable. 20 But now is Christ risen from the dead, and become the firstfruits of them that slept. 21 For since by man came death, by man came also the resurrection of the dead.” 1 Corinthians 15:16-21

We are fully confident that the moment we pass, we breathe our last, we shall “be present with the Lord.”

“Therefore we are always confident, knowing that, whilst we are at home in the body, we are absent from the Lord: 7 (For we walk by faith, not by sight:) 8 We are confident, I say, and willing rather to be absent from the body, and to be present with the Lord.” 2 Corinthians 5:6-8

The death of a Christian is not a tragedy.

Death is our passport to glory.

Death without Jesus Christ is the tragedy.

What have we to fear other than the long wait till we meet Him?!

“I think it’s sad to see so many who claim to be Christians

acting all worried about dying… I get excited more each day

about getting to be with the Lord.

The good ole days are just ahead!

Happy New Years!” Kirk

“For to me to live is Christ, and to die is gain.” Philippians 1:21

For the one who is truly in Christ, “to die is gain.”

“For here have we no continuing city, but we seek one to come.” Hebrews 13:14

Jesus Christ is “the resurrection and the life” and will soon raise up into eternal glory all who truly know Him.

“Jesus said unto her, I am the resurrection, and the life: he that believeth in me, though he were dead, yet shall he live.” John 11:25

Jesus Christ is the “Exceeding Great Reward” of every true believer (Genesis 15:1). They seek nothing more than Him! He is truly their “first love” and all consuming passion (Revelation 2:4-5). He’s coming back soon and He promised that He’s going to reward every man according to his work which is the reflection of of what’s in a man’s heart.

“And, behold, I come quickly; and my reward is with me, to give every man according as his work shall be.” Revelation 22:12

Because Jesus rose again, all who are born again in Him are raised up spiritually in this life to overcome all sin, satan, and the world and will be soon raised up into eternal glory with Him.

“And declared to be the Son of God with power, according to the spirit of holiness, by the resurrection from the dead.” Romans 1:4

“O death, where is thy sting? O grave, where is thy victory?”

Where O Where is it! Now, say these blessed, divinely-inspired words of our LORD Jesus Christ aloud prayerfully –“O death, where is thy sting? O grave, where is thy victory?” (1 Corinthians 15:55)

GOT FEAR? – “I sought the Lord, and he heard me, and delivered me from all my fears.” (Psalms 34:4) So, what is the divine prescription for being delivered from all fear? Read the verse again and you will notice that seeking the face of the LORD is your deliverance.

Seeking the LORD is always the answer. Getting delivered from “ALL” fear:

“I sought the LORD, and he heard me, and delivered me from all my fears.” Psalms 34:4

Notice here that one must seek the LORD for deliverance from fear.

Why do we fear?

“People fear because their faith is in self, not in God. Therefore they try and meet their own needs. Matt. 6:33 says when we make God’s kingdom and His righteousness a priority He will meet our needs.” Karen Cochran

All fear shall be dispelled as the regenerated disciple diligently seeks the LORD – the only One who “is love.”

“And we have known and believed the love that God hath to us. God is love; and he that dwelleth in love dwelleth in God, and God in him. ¹⁷Herein is our love made perfect, that we may have boldness in the day of judgment: because as he is, so are we in this world. ¹⁸There is no fear in love; but perfect love casteth out fear: because fear hath torment. He that feareth is not made perfect in love.” 1 John 4:16-18

When someone close to us passes on to the next life, dies, we need not fear, namely if they were known of God (Isaiah 57:1-2).

Jesus Again Foretells Death, Resurrection

Remember how Jesus’ disciples were “exceeding sorry” when He foretold of His own death, burial, and resurrection?

“And while they abode in Galilee, Jesus said unto them, The Son of man shall be betrayed into the hands of men: 23 And they shall kill him, and the third day he shall be raised again. And they were exceeding sorry.” Matthew 17:22-23

Of this passage, Shadrack Rotich notes: “They were saddened and forgot to be encouraged by the Word of Jesus that in 3 days He was raising again.”

Because our LORD Jesus was raised from the dead, so we have full hope and confidence that so shall all who are known of Him. We need not therefore fear or sorrow.

“But if the Spirit of him that raised up Jesus from the dead dwell in you, he that raised up Christ from the dead shall also quicken (raise up, make alive) your mortal bodies by his Spirit that dwelleth in you.” Romans 8:11

“The righteous perisheth, and no man layeth it to heart: and merciful men are taken away, none considering that the righteous is taken away from the evil to come. 2 He shall enter into peace: they shall rest in their beds, each one walking in his uprightness.” Isaiah 57:1-2

Pray this: Father thank You so very much for sending Your only begotten Son for me! Thank You that the Son of God died and You raised Him again to justify me and that Your resurrection life and power indwells me today as I abide identified with and in the death and burial of Jesus! Glory to God Most High! Thank You LORD Jesus for Your resurrection power to victoriously overcome all sin, Satan, and this sinful world and to be fruitful in helping others know You. I now look for Your soon return LORD Jesus. Amen Jesus!

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Young’s Literal Translation YLT Exposed

by Will Kinney

Anyone who tries to pawn off Young’s “literal” translation as being the infallible words of God simply does not know what he is talking about. It is not even a good translation. It is little more than a passing footnote in the ever changing panorama of perverted bible versions that have come and gone over the years.

There is only one Bible that has stood the test of time and its critics. There is only one Bible that is believed and defended by thousands of Bible believers today as being the true “book of the LORD”- the Authorized King James Holy Bible – celebrating over 400 years of being THE Bible of the English speaking people.

Let’s compare a bit:

One that made me laugh out loud when I first saw it was 1 Kings 18:21.

Here we read in the KJB: “And Elijah came unto all the people, and said, How long HALT YE BETWEEN TWO OPINIONS? if the LORD be God, follow him: but if Baal, then follow him. And the people answered him not a word.”

But Youngs “literal” has: “and Elijah cometh nigh unto all the people, and saith, `TILL WHEN ARE YE LEAPING ON THE TWO BRANCHES? — if Jehovah [is] God, go after Him; and if Baal, go after him;’ and the people have not answered him a word.”

—————

Here is the YLT telling us Jesus had to be saved which would mean He was a sinner:

Zechariah 9:9 KJB – “Rejoice greatly, O daughter of Zion; shout, O daughter of Jerusalem: behold, thy King cometh unto thee: he is just, AND HAVING SALVATION; lowly, and riding upon an ass, and upon a colt the foal of an ass.”

Youngs – “Rejoice exceedingly, O daughter of Zion, Shout, O daughter of Jerusalem, Lo, thy King doth come to thee, Righteous — AND SAVED IS HE, Afflicted — and riding on an ass, And on a colt — a son of she-asses.”

—————

Acts 11:26 KJB – “And the disciples WERE CALLED Christians first in Antioch.”

Young’s 1898 – “the disciples also WERE DIVINELY CALLED first in Antioch Christians.”

The KJB and almost every other Bible reads: “And when he had found him, he brought him unto Antioch. And it came to pass, that a whole year they assembled themselves with the church, and taught much people. And the disciples WERE CALLED Christians first in Antioch.

—————

Youngs’ “literal” has many examples of mind-boggling, ridiculous readings as well.

In Psalms 141:7 we read: “Our bones are scattered at the grave’s mouth, as when ONE CUTTETH AND CLEAVETH WOOD upon the earth.

But in Youngs we see: Psalm 141:7 “As ONE TILLING AND RIPPING UP THE LAND, Have our bones been scattered AT THE COMMAND OF SAUL.” (Say What?)

—————

1 Samuel 25:22 “So and more also do God unto the enemies of David, if I leave of all that pertain to him by the morning light any that PISSETH AGAINST THE WALL.” (Green – “urinates against the wall.”)

But Young has: “thus doth God do to the enemies of David, and thus He doth add, if I leave of all that he hath till the light of the morning — of THOSE SITTING ON THE WALL.”

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