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Martin Bobgan, PhD.

Among the stellar emotional needs of humanistic psychology are unconditional acceptance, unconditional self-regard, unconditional self-acceptance, and unconditional love. The meaning of the word unconditional is “without conditions or reservations; absolute.”1 The practical extension of the theories of unconditional love is a permissive attitude and a morally nonrestrictive atmosphere. That means no conditions or restrictions in child rearing, counseling, and other human relationships. Since the parent or counselor is to be giving unconditional love, it must be an absolute love, unrestricted by human feelings or failings, since the very meaning of the word is “absolute.” But, if there is any absolute when it comes to love, it is that human love is limited. It is not what it was originally created to be, even in the best of people and circumstances, except when Jesus Himself is loving in and through a person.

Adler and Maslow considered these “unconditionals” to be basic human needs, essential to a person’s sense of wellbeing. They taught that people need to be loved and accepted unconditionally—without any conditions of performance. Thus their followers teach that parents must love and accept their children unconditionally. Moreover, they encourage all people to love and accept themselves unconditionally.

Adler, Maslow, Rogers and others believed that a human being will find answers to his own dilemmas and naturally blossom into his best self in an atmosphere of unconditional love and acceptance, by which they meant a permissive, unstructured atmosphere. Nevertheless, as much as they would like to think that they themselves loved their clients unconditionally, the truth of the matter is this: people are not able to love unconditionally.

The Myth of Unconditional Love

Unconditional love is a myth. That is because the human is naturally self-biased and the human heart is so deceitful that one can fool himself into thinking that he is loving unconditionally, when in fact he has all kinds of conditions. For instance, what kind of unconditional love and unconditional positive regard is at work when the client can no longer pay for services and therapy is discontinued? Furthermore, even the most nondirective counselors express approval or disapproval in subtle, if not direct, ways.2

The idea of people improving their life in an atmosphere of unconditional love is founded on the premise that people are born good and that their natural inclination to goodness is thwarted by their environment (mainly parents). In such a system, self is the victim of society but finds salvation, freedom, and fulfillment through unconditional self-love and self-acceptance. Unconditional love cannot be based upon performance or it wouldn’t be unconditional. Therefore, it must be based on the intrinsic worth of the person. Paul Brownback, in his book The Danger of Self-Love, explains it this way:

    . . . by unconditional love we are speaking of love on the basis of being rather than doing. One implication of this teaching is the place of grandeur that it gives to the human being. I am lovable just because I am human; therefore being human, in and of itself, regardless of what I do with my humanness, must have some sort of independent value or worth. It is by itself a sufficient claim to respect and esteem.3

Thus, according to these self theories, everyone is born with the right to receive unconditional love and unconditional acceptance throughout his entire life, no matter what!

Pastors assigned to shepherd God’s flocks, should have been alert to the subtleties of deception that would turn a believer’s eyes from God to self. But alas, rather than warning the sheep, many of the shepherds have joined the psychologists and embrace their teachings of unconditional love and unconditional acceptance.

A Misunderstanding of God’s Love

The basis for their eager embrace is a misunderstanding of the love of God which passes knowledge. They equate unconditional love and acceptance with the fact that God’s love is vast, unfathomable, and unmerited. Then they follow that with the idea that if God loves and accepts people unconditionally, they should also love and accept themselves unconditionally. While this may sound like a logical progression, there are some serious problems with the basic assumptions. Therefore, we must address the question: Is God’s love unconditional? Are there any conditions that must be met to become a recipient of His love?

Paul prayed that the believers in Ephesus would be able to comprehend the breadth, length, depth and height of God’s love. He desired that they know the love of Christ, which surpasses knowledge, so that they would be filled with the fullness of God (Ephesians 3:16-19). The wide expanse of God’s love has been the theme of the gospel throughout the ages, for to know His love is to know Him. Therefore, any consideration of His love is highly important and must be based upon His revelation of Himself rather than upon the imagination of men.

Love According to Secular Humanism

Ever since the rise of secular humanism in this country and especially since the establishment of humanistic psychology, the popular, “relevant” term to describe God’s love has been unconditional. The thrust of this word in humanistic psychology has been both to give and to expect unconditional love from one another with no strings attached. While unconditional love and acceptance supposedly promote change and growth, they make no requirements. But God, who is love, requires and produces radical change—new life—and He enables His children to grow in righteousness.

In humanistic psychology, parents and society are always the culprits. Since they believe that every person is born with intrinsic worth and innate goodness, psychologists contend that one main reason people experience emotional and behavioral problems is because they have not received unconditional love from their parents. Following that thesis, Christians have come to believe that the best kind of love is unconditional love. It is the highest love secular humanists know. It is touted as a love that makes no demands for performance, good behavior, or the like. It has also been associated with a kind of permissiveness, since it makes no demands and has no conditions, even though the promoters of the unconditional love jargon would say that unconditional love does not have to dispense with discipline.

God’s Love Revealed through Scripture

Because the concept of unconditional love permeates society and because it is often thought of as the highest form of human love, it is natural for a Christian to use this term to describe God. After all, His love is far greater than any human love imaginable. God’s love for humanity is so great that “He gave His only begotten Son that whosoever believeth in Him should not perish, but have everlasting life” (John 3:16). Oh, the magnitude of the cost! We cannot even fathom His love even though our very breath depends upon it! His love indeed reaches to the heights and depths. Nevertheless, is God’s love truly unconditional?

God’s love is available to human beings by grace alone. There is nothing anyone can do to earn that love. There is no good work that is either demanded or even possible. Does that make God’s love unconditional? Because unconditional love is absolute and without any conditions whatsoever, all men would be saved if God’s love were unconditional. But that would be universalism. That would nullify the need for Christ’s sacrificial death and God’s condition of salvation by grace through faith.

We must also ask, does God’s love apply to the person who has sinned against the Holy Spirit by refusing to receive His grace throughout his lifetime and who is destined for hell? God chooses upon whom He will place His love and the benefits of his love. Did Jesus ever imply that God’s love is unconditional? He said to His disciples:

He that hath my commandments, and keepeth them, he it is that loveth me: and he that loveth me shall be loved of my Father, and I will love him, and will manifest myself to him (John 14:21).

One might argue, however, that the story of the prodigal son proves unconditional love. It indeed illustrates the vastness of God’s love, forgiveness and longsuffering. However, the son repented. If he had had a prosperous evil life he may never have repented. And while the father would have waited and hoped, he would not have extended his love. After all, he did not go out searching for him to support his folly. Up to a point this seems to indicate unconditional love, and yet, God is not waiting in ignorance, not knowing what those for whom His son died might be doing. He knows, and there comes a time when those who have refused his offer of love and forgiveness die and face the judgment. It is difficult enough to understand God’s love without adding the term unconditional which is loaded with secular, humanistic, psychological connotations. The story of the prodigal son teaches grace, forgiveness and mercy—but unconditional love? No!

While God loves with a greater love than humans can comprehend, His holiness and justice also must be taken into consideration. Therefore the term unconditional love is inadequate for defining God. It does not account for God’s reaction to pompous men who devise plans against Him and His anointed. The psalmist goes so far as to say:

He that sitteth in the heavens shall laugh: the Lord shall have them in derision. Then shall he speak to them in his wrath, and vex them in his sore displeasure (Psalm 2:4-5).

And what about Lot’s wife as she turned to look at the smoldering cities? Or what about Jesus’ words to the cities that refused to repent?

Woe unto thee, Chorazin! woe unto thee, Bethsaida! for if the mighty works, which were done in you, had been done in Tyre and Sidon, they would have repented long ago in sackcloth and ashes. But I say unto you, It shall be more tolerable for Tyre and Sidon at the day of judgment, than for you. And thou, Capernaum, which art exalted unto heaven, shalt be brought down to hell . . . . it shall be more tolerable for the land of Sodom in the day of judgment, than for thee (Matthew 11:21-24).

Does that sound like unconditional love?

But perhaps one could say that God’s love for the Christian is unconditional since the Christian partakes of His love and grace through faith. Wouldn’t it be better to say that the conditions have been met? Jesus met the first condition, to wash away the sin that God hates. The believer meets the second condition by grace through faith. Or, perhaps it would be better to say that God’s love extended to a person is conditioned by His plan to give eternal life to those who believe on His Son. The conditions of God’s love are resident within Himself.

There is a strong temptation to use vocabulary that is popular in society in order to make Christianity sound relevant. Christians have something far better than what the world offers, but in expressing that good news they confuse people by using words that are already loaded with humanistic connotations and systems of thought. It would be better not to use the expression unconditional love when describing God’s love. There are plenty of other good words.

In this was manifested the love of God toward us, because that God sent his only begotten Son into the world, that we might live through him.

Herein is love, not that we loved God, but that He loved us, and sent his Son to be the propitiation for our sins. . . .
And we have known and believed the love that God hath to us. God is love; and he that dwelleth in love dwelleth in God, and God in him (1 John 4:9, 10, 16).

The incomprehensible magnitude of God’s love surpasses any concept of love devised by humanistic psychologists. The doctrine of unconditional love is a myth that glorifies man rather than God.

1. Webster’s New Universal Unabridged Dictionary, Second Edition, 1983.
2. Jay Haley. Strategies of Psychotherapy. New York: Grune & Stratton, Inc., 1963, pp. 71, 82.
3. Paul Brownback. The Danger of Self-Love. Chicago: Moody Press, 1982, p. 66.

PsychoHeresy Awareness Ministries, 4137 Primavera Road, Santa Barbara, CA 93110

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Articles

The Joy of Seed Sowing

“While the earth remaineth, seedtime and harvest, and cold and heat, and summer and winter, and day and night shall not cease.” Genesis 8:22

Always remember, there must be a seed sown before there can be a crop reaped.

BEFORE Jesus saved me, He had several of His people along the way drop His precious Word into my alienated heart. Some of this included the tangible, the printed page. These things all culminated into His saving me into His glorious kingdom (Isaiah 55:11).

“So shall my word be that goeth forth out of my mouth: it shall not return unto me void, but it shall accomplish that which I please, and it shall prosper in the thing whereto I sent it.” Isaiah 55:11

How about you? What was the process of our LORD saving you? Who did He use? How did they sow His seed into your life.

Think about how when we plant a seed in the ground. Do we plant that seed and stand back and expect to see the plant begin to rise up out of the ground? No. Jesus spoke of this very thing.

The Parable of the Seed Growing

Mark 4:26-29

“26  And he said, So is the kingdom of God, as if a man should cast seed into the ground; 
27  And should sleep, and rise night and day, and the seed should spring and grow up, he knoweth not how
28  For the earth bringeth forth fruit of herself; first the blade, then the ear, after that the full corn in the ear. 
29  But when the fruit is brought forth, immediately he putteth in the sickle, because the harvest is come.” 

We don’t know how a seed turns into a plant and a crop. We just plant them and go to bed knowing they will produce the desired outcome (crop), right? Isn’t that the same faith we should have when we plant God’s Word in the hearts and minds of people?

“For I am not ashamed of the gospel of Christ: for it is the power of God unto salvation to every one that believeth;” Romans 1:16

May God bless each of us to prayerfully and faithfully plant that seed of God’s Word beloved. God’s Word is the seed of salvation (Romans 1:16; 1 Peter 1:23). Just like the ground when a seed is planted into it. GOD will do the rest as we simply, lovingly, wisely, plant His precious truth into the hearts of those around us.

Speaking of such…. Yesterday, I gave a copy of the Moments with Our Master book to a dear young couple (they are about 18). This daily devotional comes in a dark or light cover. I asked if they like to read. As most people, they answered in the affirmative. Then I asked if I could gift them with a book. Most people won’t turn down a free gift, right? Right. She was given the lighter cover version and he the darker. As usual I opened the book (anywhere) and told them that “there is a Scripture at the top, a few words and then a prayer. One devotional for each day of the year.” Show and tell. I encouraged them by saying “this is a great way to start your day.” God was working.

Everyone on earth is being influenced by others on earth and it’s our calling from God to influence people toward Him.

“I have planted, Apollos watered; but God gave the increase. 7 So then neither is he that planteth any thing, neither he that watereth; but God that giveth the increase. 8 Now he that planteth and he that watereth are one: and every man shall receive his own reward according to his own labour. 9 For we are labourers together with God: ye are God’s husbandry, ye are God’s building.” 1 Corinthians 3:6-9

Personally, I love stopping by the thrift stores and finding every King James Bible they have. Great investment and it equips  you to be armed and dangerous. Also, I like carrying, always, Scripture-rich resources. God will quicken. By doing these things (equipping) you are showing in earnest to the LORD that you want Him to use you.

“They that sow in tears shall reap in joy. 6 He that goeth forth and weepeth, bearing precious seed, shall doubtless come again with rejoicing, bringing his sheaves (harvest) with him.” Psalms 126:5-6

Keep in mind that sowing the seed of God’s Word IS 100% a Great Commission operation and anyone participating in any fashion is obeying God and laying up treasure in glory – as He instructed you to do (1 Samuel 30:24; Matthew 6:19-21; John 4:36; 1 Corinthians 3:6-9, etc.). Perhaps you’d consider to not only buy yourself a supply of printed page materials for ministry but also supply another saint  with the same. King James Bible.

“So teach us to number our days, that we may apply our hearts unto wisdom.” Psalms 90:12

YOUR PRAYER: Heavenly Father, thank You so much for Your every blessing and for finding me in my sin and saving me into Your family by the blood of Christ my LORD. Please sanctify and use us for Your eternal glory. I love You Jesus. Please now fill me with the Holy Spirit and wisdom and open doors for me to sow the seed of Your Word in this late hour as we eagerly expect Your soon return. In Jesus’ Name.

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Abiding

The Good Shepherd and His True Sheep [podcast]


“Now the God of peace, that brought again from the dead our Lord Jesus, that great shepherd of the sheep, through the blood of the everlasting covenant …” Hebrews 13:20

“To him the porter openeth; and the sheep hear his voice: and he calleth his own sheep by name, and leadeth them out.” John 10:3 

My sheep hear my voice, and I know them, and they follow me: 28 and I give unto them eternal life; and they shall never perish, neither shall any man pluck them out of my hand. 29 My Father, which gave them me, is greater than all; and no man is able to pluck them out of my Father’s hand.” John 10:27-29

This know also, that in the last days perilous times shall come. For men shall be lovers of their own selves, covetous, boasters, proud, blasphemers, disobedient to parents, unthankful, unholy, 3 without natural affection, trucebreakers, false accusers, incontinent, fierce, despisers of those that are good, 4 traitors, heady, highminded, lovers of pleasures more than lovers of God; 5 having a form of godliness, but denying the power thereof: from such turn away. 6 For of this sort are they which creep into houses, and lead captive silly women laden with sins, led away with divers lusts, 7 ever learning, and never able to come to the knowledge of the truth. 8 Now as Jannes and Jambres withstood Moses, so do these also resist the truth: men of corrupt minds, reprobate concerning the faith. 9 But they shall proceed no further: for their folly shall be manifest unto all men, as theirs also was.

10 But thou hast fully known my doctrine, manner of life, purpose, faith, longsuffering, charity, patience, 11 persecutions, afflictions, which came unto me at Antioch, at Iconium, at Lystra; what persecutions I endured: but out of them all the Lord delivered me. 12 Yea, and all that will live godly in Christ Jesus shall suffer persecution. 13 But evil men and seducers shall wax worse and worse, deceiving, and being deceived.” 2 Timothy 3:1-13

And he said to them all, If any man will come after me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross daily, and follow me. 24 For whosoever will save his life shall lose it: but whosoever will lose his life for my sake, the same shall save it. 25 For what is a man advantaged, if he gain the whole world, and lose himself, or be cast away?” Luke 9:23-25

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Abiding

“He that Loveth Pureness of Heart” [podcast]


IS YOUR HEART PURE BEFORE THE ALMIGHTY BELOVED?

DO I truly love “pureness of heart”?

“HE THAT LOVETH PURENESS OF HEART, for the grace of his lips the king shall be his friend.” Proverbs 22:11

Without a pure heart, obtained from seeking, worshiping, knowing, and obey God …. no one “shall see God.” Not one.

“Blessed are the pure in heart: for they shall see God.” Matthew 5:8

If you or I have every word of the Bible memorized and die today with a heart that is defiled with sin, we’d bust hell wide open – and be trapped there irrevocably forever.

TODAY is our day, it’s your day, to throw up those hands and that heart to the LORD who made you, and cry out to Him to grant you a pure heart, one that is innocent, clean, washed, delighting in Him.

“Delight thyself also in the LORD; and he shall give thee the desires of thine heart.” Psalms 37:4

When the LORD is truly working in a man, that man is learning to love “pureness of heart.”

He that loveth pureness of heart, for the grace of his lips the king shall be his friend.” Proverbs 22:11

Coming and continuing to come to the light is essential to final salvation.

“And this is the condemnation, that light is come into the world, and men loved darkness rather than light, because their deeds were evil. 20 For every one that doeth evil hateth the light, neither cometh to the light, lest his deeds should be reproved. 21 But he that doeth truth cometh to the light, that his deeds may be made manifest, that they are wrought in God.” John 3:19-21

Choosing the Fear of the LORD

WE must surround ourselves with the Word, the people, the praises of our God! FLOOD your ear and eye gates beloved (Proverbs 4:23). Jesus is coming.

“But he that doeth truth cometh to the light, that his deeds may be made manifest, that they are wrought in God.” John 3:21

Coming clean: To be sanctified by Christ, one must repent and believe upon Him. As the LORD works in them, there will be the response of honesty, humble repentance and a coming to the light, continually. If not, judgment will be incurred (Isaiah 1:19-20).

“He that covereth his sins shall not prosper: but whoso confesseth and forsaketh them shall have mercy.” Proverbs 28:13

Those who cover instead of bring their depraved hearts into the light to have them changed and cleansed by the LORD, “shall not prosper.” In other words, they are stifled. Those who remain humble, teachable, correctable, rebukeable, and obedient, will receive divine mercy perpetually.

“God shall hear, and afflict them, even he that abideth of old. Selah. Because they have no changes, therefore they fear not God.” Psalms 55:19 

Those who refuse to “choose the fear of the LORD” have no changes in their lives.

“For that they hated knowledge, and did not choose the fear of the LORD:” Proverbs 1:29

Psalms 73

“Nevertheless I am continually with thee: thou hast holden me by my right hand. 24  Thou shalt guide me with thy counsel, and afterward receive me to glory. 25  Whom have I in heaven but thee? and there is none upon earth that I desire beside thee. 26  My flesh and my heart faileth: but God is the strength of my heart, and my portion for ever. 27  For, lo, they that are far from thee shall perish: thou hast destroyed all them that go a whoring from thee. 28  But it is good for me to draw near to God: I have put my trust in the Lord GOD, that I may declare all thy works.” Psalms 73:23-28 

Drawing Nigh (close) to God Afresh

“But he giveth more grace. Wherefore he saith, God resisteth the proud, but giveth grace unto the humble. 7  Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. 8  Draw nigh to God, and he will draw nigh to you. Cleanse your hands, ye sinners; and purify your hearts, ye double minded. 9  Be afflicted, and mourn, and weep: let your laughter be turned to mourning, and your joy to heaviness. 10  Humble yourselves in the sight of the Lord, and he shall lift you up.” James 4:6-10 

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