Martin Bobgan, PhD.
Among the stellar emotional needs of humanistic psychology are unconditional acceptance, unconditional self-regard, unconditional self-acceptance, and unconditional love. The meaning of the word unconditional is “without conditions or reservations; absolute.”1 The practical extension of the theories of unconditional love is a permissive attitude and a morally nonrestrictive atmosphere. That means no conditions or restrictions in child rearing, counseling, and other human relationships. Since the parent or counselor is to be giving unconditional love, it must be an absolute love, unrestricted by human feelings or failings, since the very meaning of the word is “absolute.” But, if there is any absolute when it comes to love, it is that human love is limited. It is not what it was originally created to be, even in the best of people and circumstances, except when Jesus Himself is loving in and through a person.
Adler and Maslow considered these “unconditionals” to be basic human needs, essential to a person’s sense of wellbeing. They taught that people need to be loved and accepted unconditionally—without any conditions of performance. Thus their followers teach that parents must love and accept their children unconditionally. Moreover, they encourage all people to love and accept themselves unconditionally.
Adler, Maslow, Rogers and others believed that a human being will find answers to his own dilemmas and naturally blossom into his best self in an atmosphere of unconditional love and acceptance, by which they meant a permissive, unstructured atmosphere. Nevertheless, as much as they would like to think that they themselves loved their clients unconditionally, the truth of the matter is this: people are not able to love unconditionally.
The Myth of Unconditional Love
Unconditional love is a myth. That is because the human is naturally self-biased and the human heart is so deceitful that one can fool himself into thinking that he is loving unconditionally, when in fact he has all kinds of conditions. For instance, what kind of unconditional love and unconditional positive regard is at work when the client can no longer pay for services and therapy is discontinued? Furthermore, even the most nondirective counselors express approval or disapproval in subtle, if not direct, ways.2
The idea of people improving their life in an atmosphere of unconditional love is founded on the premise that people are born good and that their natural inclination to goodness is thwarted by their environment (mainly parents). In such a system, self is the victim of society but finds salvation, freedom, and fulfillment through unconditional self-love and self-acceptance. Unconditional love cannot be based upon performance or it wouldn’t be unconditional. Therefore, it must be based on the intrinsic worth of the person. Paul Brownback, in his book The Danger of Self-Love, explains it this way:
- . . . by unconditional love we are speaking of love on the basis of being rather than doing. One implication of this teaching is the place of grandeur that it gives to the human being. I am lovable just because I am human; therefore being human, in and of itself, regardless of what I do with my humanness, must have some sort of independent value or worth. It is by itself a sufficient claim to respect and esteem.3
Thus, according to these self theories, everyone is born with the right to receive unconditional love and unconditional acceptance throughout his entire life, no matter what!
Pastors assigned to shepherd God’s flocks, should have been alert to the subtleties of deception that would turn a believer’s eyes from God to self. But alas, rather than warning the sheep, many of the shepherds have joined the psychologists and embrace their teachings of unconditional love and unconditional acceptance.
A Misunderstanding of God’s Love
The basis for their eager embrace is a misunderstanding of the love of God which passes knowledge. They equate unconditional love and acceptance with the fact that God’s love is vast, unfathomable, and unmerited. Then they follow that with the idea that if God loves and accepts people unconditionally, they should also love and accept themselves unconditionally. While this may sound like a logical progression, there are some serious problems with the basic assumptions. Therefore, we must address the question: Is God’s love unconditional? Are there any conditions that must be met to become a recipient of His love?
Paul prayed that the believers in Ephesus would be able to comprehend the breadth, length, depth and height of God’s love. He desired that they know the love of Christ, which surpasses knowledge, so that they would be filled with the fullness of God (Ephesians 3:16-19). The wide expanse of God’s love has been the theme of the gospel throughout the ages, for to know His love is to know Him. Therefore, any consideration of His love is highly important and must be based upon His revelation of Himself rather than upon the imagination of men.
Love According to Secular Humanism
Ever since the rise of secular humanism in this country and especially since the establishment of humanistic psychology, the popular, “relevant” term to describe God’s love has been unconditional. The thrust of this word in humanistic psychology has been both to give and to expect unconditional love from one another with no strings attached. While unconditional love and acceptance supposedly promote change and growth, they make no requirements. But God, who is love, requires and produces radical change—new life—and He enables His children to grow in righteousness.
In humanistic psychology, parents and society are always the culprits. Since they believe that every person is born with intrinsic worth and innate goodness, psychologists contend that one main reason people experience emotional and behavioral problems is because they have not received unconditional love from their parents. Following that thesis, Christians have come to believe that the best kind of love is unconditional love. It is the highest love secular humanists know. It is touted as a love that makes no demands for performance, good behavior, or the like. It has also been associated with a kind of permissiveness, since it makes no demands and has no conditions, even though the promoters of the unconditional love jargon would say that unconditional love does not have to dispense with discipline.
God’s Love Revealed through Scripture
Because the concept of unconditional love permeates society and because it is often thought of as the highest form of human love, it is natural for a Christian to use this term to describe God. After all, His love is far greater than any human love imaginable. God’s love for humanity is so great that “He gave His only begotten Son that whosoever believeth in Him should not perish, but have everlasting life” (John 3:16). Oh, the magnitude of the cost! We cannot even fathom His love even though our very breath depends upon it! His love indeed reaches to the heights and depths. Nevertheless, is God’s love truly unconditional?
God’s love is available to human beings by grace alone. There is nothing anyone can do to earn that love. There is no good work that is either demanded or even possible. Does that make God’s love unconditional? Because unconditional love is absolute and without any conditions whatsoever, all men would be saved if God’s love were unconditional. But that would be universalism. That would nullify the need for Christ’s sacrificial death and God’s condition of salvation by grace through faith.
We must also ask, does God’s love apply to the person who has sinned against the Holy Spirit by refusing to receive His grace throughout his lifetime and who is destined for hell? God chooses upon whom He will place His love and the benefits of his love. Did Jesus ever imply that God’s love is unconditional? He said to His disciples:
He that hath my commandments, and keepeth them, he it is that loveth me: and he that loveth me shall be loved of my Father, and I will love him, and will manifest myself to him (John 14:21).
One might argue, however, that the story of the prodigal son proves unconditional love. It indeed illustrates the vastness of God’s love, forgiveness and longsuffering. However, the son repented. If he had had a prosperous evil life he may never have repented. And while the father would have waited and hoped, he would not have extended his love. After all, he did not go out searching for him to support his folly. Up to a point this seems to indicate unconditional love, and yet, God is not waiting in ignorance, not knowing what those for whom His son died might be doing. He knows, and there comes a time when those who have refused his offer of love and forgiveness die and face the judgment. It is difficult enough to understand God’s love without adding the term unconditional which is loaded with secular, humanistic, psychological connotations. The story of the prodigal son teaches grace, forgiveness and mercy—but unconditional love? No!
While God loves with a greater love than humans can comprehend, His holiness and justice also must be taken into consideration. Therefore the term unconditional love is inadequate for defining God. It does not account for God’s reaction to pompous men who devise plans against Him and His anointed. The psalmist goes so far as to say:
He that sitteth in the heavens shall laugh: the Lord shall have them in derision. Then shall he speak to them in his wrath, and vex them in his sore displeasure (Psalm 2:4-5).
And what about Lot’s wife as she turned to look at the smoldering cities? Or what about Jesus’ words to the cities that refused to repent?
Woe unto thee, Chorazin! woe unto thee, Bethsaida! for if the mighty works, which were done in you, had been done in Tyre and Sidon, they would have repented long ago in sackcloth and ashes. But I say unto you, It shall be more tolerable for Tyre and Sidon at the day of judgment, than for you. And thou, Capernaum, which art exalted unto heaven, shalt be brought down to hell . . . . it shall be more tolerable for the land of Sodom in the day of judgment, than for thee (Matthew 11:21-24).
Does that sound like unconditional love?
But perhaps one could say that God’s love for the Christian is unconditional since the Christian partakes of His love and grace through faith. Wouldn’t it be better to say that the conditions have been met? Jesus met the first condition, to wash away the sin that God hates. The believer meets the second condition by grace through faith. Or, perhaps it would be better to say that God’s love extended to a person is conditioned by His plan to give eternal life to those who believe on His Son. The conditions of God’s love are resident within Himself.
There is a strong temptation to use vocabulary that is popular in society in order to make Christianity sound relevant. Christians have something far better than what the world offers, but in expressing that good news they confuse people by using words that are already loaded with humanistic connotations and systems of thought. It would be better not to use the expression unconditional love when describing God’s love. There are plenty of other good words.
In this was manifested the love of God toward us, because that God sent his only begotten Son into the world, that we might live through him.
Herein is love, not that we loved God, but that He loved us, and sent his Son to be the propitiation for our sins. . . .
And we have known and believed the love that God hath to us. God is love; and he that dwelleth in love dwelleth in God, and God in him (1 John 4:9, 10, 16).
The incomprehensible magnitude of God’s love surpasses any concept of love devised by humanistic psychologists. The doctrine of unconditional love is a myth that glorifies man rather than God.
1. Webster’s New Universal Unabridged Dictionary, Second Edition, 1983.
2. Jay Haley. Strategies of Psychotherapy. New York: Grune & Stratton, Inc., 1963, pp. 71, 82.
3. Paul Brownback. The Danger of Self-Love. Chicago: Moody Press, 1982, p. 66.
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Articles
Personal Evangelism

Soul Winning is the Work of Every True Disciple of Jesus
“Now then we are ambassadors for Christ, as though God did beseech you by us: we pray you in Christ’s stead, be ye reconciled to God.” 2 Corinthians 5:20
Oh the joy of being privileged to know Him and be called out as His “ambassadors”! As His called out ones, we are sent by Him to make known His glorious Gospel to lost souls for whom He came and bled (1 Tim. 1:15).
“Holding forth the word of life; that I may rejoice in the day of Christ, that I have not run in vain, neither laboured in vain.” Philippians 2:16
NO one will saved before becoming greatly convicted of their sin-give them the Law then they will desire Christ (Galatians 3:24; 1 Timothy 1:9-11). The law convicts and brings them to Christ – it serves God’s purpose. We don’t lead them to Christ so much as God’s law convicts and leaves them feeling the reality of their alienation from God – and then they will be prepared to hear the saving Gospel of Christ. This is the New Testament way of winning souls to Jesus.
What’s most important and the biblical model for evangelism, is to give the lost the law of God (10 Commandments), to convict them which in turn will bring them to Christ (Romans 7:12; Galatians 3:24; 1 Timothy 1:7-10). Placating lost souls with scientific arguments in defense of the faith seems to seldom if ever result in a lost sinner coming to the Savior in repentance. It is the law of God that pierces directly into the consciences of men and converts sinners to Christ (Psalms 19:7). When Paul spoke with the secularists of his day on Mars’ Hill he spoke to them of their idolatry (a sin violating the first 2 of the 10 Commandments), called them to repentance, and warned them that Judgment Day was coming (Acts 17:22-34).
“The law of the LORD is perfect, converting the soul: the testimony of the LORD is sure, making wise the simple. 8 The statutes of the LORD are right, rejoicing the heart: the commandment of the LORD is pure, enlightening the eyes.” Psalms 19:7-8
Presenting the Word: First the law to cut, to convict, and to expose how wicked the sinner is and deserving of nothing but damnation, THEN the Gospel of Jesus’ saving grace to make the sinner whole amen!
Your communications and ministry are fed and fueled by your personal daily study and knowledge of God’s Word (Proverbs 22:17-21; 2 Timothy 2:15).
Have you ever desired for your friends and family to be present at a gathering of Saints where there was in anointed call to receive Jesus and they were drawn up to be saved? I have. That’s a great desire and yet in the days of those special gatherings of true, Jesus-seeking disciples are becoming more and more limited. Therefore we must be that altar call, that anointed vessel of God who goes to the people and brings them in. God will make it happen in His resurrection life as we consent to daily dying (2 Corinthians 4:10-12).
Keep showing forth His truth, which is marching on in the hearts and lives of all who have ears to hear what the Holy Spirit is saying to the Churches.
Psalms 126:5-6 says:
“They that sow in tears shall reap in joy. He that goeth forth and weepeth, bearing precious seed, shall doubtless come again with rejoicing, bringing his sheaves with him.”
Though you see no changes with your physical eyes, remember that “we walk by faith and not by sight” and that His Word never returns void, so keep planting the seed of His Word into the hearts of men even though sometimes it is with tears (Isa. 55:11; Lk. 8:11; 2 Cor. 5:7). You will “doubtless come again with rejoicing.” (Ps. 126:5-6)
“So shall my word be that goeth forth out of my mouth: it shall not return unto me void, but it shall accomplish that which I please, and it shall prosper in the thing whereto I sent it.” Isaiah 55:11
Like a lion that conquers and dominates its prey as it pleases, we must unleash the Word of God itself which never returns back to Him void but always accomplishes what He pleases.
God will do His work in the hearts of men, as we send forth His truth in love.
“For God is not unrighteous to forget your work and labour of love, which ye have shewed toward his name, in that ye have ministered to the saints, and do minister.” Hebrews 6:10
What is your personal plan or strategy for reaching lost souls? Are you busy about your Father’s business if seeking to save that which was lost? (Luke 2:49; 19:10)
YOU cannot talk anyone into being saved. Stop trying! You must preach them into being saved – by communicating the Word. Only Christ can save them, not us! Did Jesus say “Go talk people into being saved” or did Jesus command “Go ye into all the world and PREACH the gospel”? (Mark 16:15) The latter of course. Men are born again by the incorruptible Word of God (1 Peter 1:23). We must humble ourselves and cease acting like we can win a soul to Jesus when Christ alone can do such. Yes, He chooses to use us as His very “ambassadors” and yet, that is done by the preaching of the law to convict and saving cross of Christ! (2 Corinthians 5:20)
Men are born again by God via His “incorruptible” Word:
“Being born again, not of corruptible seed, but of incorruptible, by the word of God, which liveth and abideth for ever.” 1 Peter 1:23
Personal testimony from brother Charles:
“To God be the glory in all things for those who love Him and are called according to His purpose! I was saved through my sister in Christ, acting as His hands and feet that shared with me the following Scripture:
“John 14:6-7
6 Jesus saith unto him, I am the way, the truth, and the life: no man cometh unto the Father, but by me.
7 If ye had known me, ye should have known my Father also: and from henceforth ye know Him and have seen him.
She was spreading the gospel and upon hearing this my ears were opened, and conviction came through. I say God found me because as a child of God we are just spreading His Word and had I not been His I would not have felt the weight and power in this Scripture. So, in hearing I was made to believe … and in believing became changed in my walk … with Him guiding me. God bless brother!”
Preparation – Armed and Dangerous!
IF a “church” isn’t producing soul winners, it’s being led by a wolf! (Ephesians 4:11-12)
How can a local assembly of believers see the LORD add to the church when the hireling(s) leading them have no concern for Christ’s Great Commission mandate to preach the whole Word of the Gospel which will result in the LORD saving souls? (Matthew 28:18-20; Mark 16:15-20)
Remembering the 2 “R”s of the Gospel: Repent, Receive Jesus. -“Testifying both to the Jews, and also to the Greeks, repentance toward God, and faith toward our Lord Jesus Christ.” (Acts 20:21)
Personally, I carry King James Bibles, good Gospel tracts, small books, booklets, etc. in my car at all times. The LORD uses them mightily to teach. After ministering to a saint in Christ or a lost person, I always send them away with something appropriate for them to read. I off a KJB Bible to believers if I find out they don’t have one and/or give them one of the books to assist in deepening their walk with Jesus. To the lost, I give a Bible, tracts, and/or a booklet that pertains to them being saved.
The Born Again Book (small, powerful!) | What Next: Now that You are Saved (small discipleship book)
Many a Christian is possessed with the false notion that God needs people-instead of the fact that people need God! Repent. God is the only self-existent One! Jesus is not a sap! He walked away from many- and told you to do the same! (Matthew 10:16; 13:58) The LORD begs no mere man, sinner, to come to Him. He invites but never begs! (Matthew 11:28-30). Rebellion is a choice HE gave them! If they want to rebel, SHAKE OFF THE DUST AND MOVE ON! That’s what Christ did and told you to do! (Matthew 7:6; 10:14)
JESUS tract ENGLISH (click to download print-ready PDF) this is the actual text of the JESUS tract of both the English and JESUS tract SPANISH (click to download print-ready PDF]
Are YOU “ready”?
“But sanctify the Lord God in your hearts: and be ready always to give an answer to every man that asketh you a reason of the hope that is in you with meekness and fear:” 1 Peter 3:15
Are you “ready” or not “ready”?
“Study to shew thyself approved unto God, a workman that needeth not to be ashamed, rightly dividing the word of truth.” 2 Timothy 2:15
Case for Scripture Memory:
“Let mine hear RETAIN thy words.” Proverbs 4:4
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Apostasy
Eating the Fat, and Drinking the Sweet! [podcast]

Mourning Trumps Merriment in Christ’s Kingdom
PRAYER: Heavenly Father, I’d like to walk in Your bless-ed joy, filling my life to overflowing, no matter what’s transpiring. LORD, I ask You to do Your deeper work in my heart, in my life. Please set apart my life to truly glorify You, being full of the fruits of Your righteousness. In Jesus’ Name, amen.
Everyone desires the joy of the LORD, right? Yes, yet only those who are willing to devour His Word – to get it into their hearts and keep it flowing into their hearts, will experience that great joy of the LORD which is our strength! In context, the joy of the LORD is the strength of those who read it, hear it, embrace it, adhere to it, and keep it flowing into their mind and heart daily! (Nehemiah 8:8, 10)
“So they read in the book in the law of God distinctly (directly), and gave the sense, and caused them to understand the reading. … 10 Then he said unto them, Go your way, eat the fat, and drink the sweet, and send portions unto them for whom nothing is prepared: for this day is holy unto our Lord: neither be ye sorry; for the joy of the LORD is your strength.” Nehemiah 8:8, 10
After they had feasted on God’s Word, the elders of Israel said to them: You are now full of the Word. Now “Go your way”, that is, go home and be blessed to “send portions” of the bounty of the LORD you’ve been filled with today to overflowing. “Freely ye have received, freely give.” (Matthew 10:8) Let your cup run over and bless others! Let your light shine into others, may your cup run over onto others, to bless them with the bountiful blessings of the LORD you have received.
We have to eat the fat and drink the sweet of the Word of God to be filled with the joy of the LORD which is our strength!
“Thy words were found, and I did eat them; and thy word was unto me the joy and rejoicing of mine heart: for I am called by thy name, O LORD God of hosts.” Jeremiah 15:16
Nourishing the Body of Christ
“If thou put the brethren in remembrance of these things, thou shalt be a good minister of Jesus Christ, nourished up in the words of faith and of good doctrine, whereunto thou hast attained.” 1 Timothy 4:6
DO people know they can find the rich treasures of God’s Word when they walk into your life, when they visit your social media page? (Colossians 3:16) Will they be “nourished” by the milk and meat of God’s bless-ed Word when they are graced to be in your company?
“There is treasure to be desired and oil in the dwelling of the wise.” Proverbs 21:20
Holy Father, we ask You in the name of Jesus to make us happy in Jesus as You’ve forgiven and freed us from our sin and so of all people on Your earth, only Your people can be truly happy in Thee dear LORD. Please bless each of Your beloved saints to be anointed for the death and burial of the self life and raised up in Your blessed resurrection grace and joy. In Jesus’ name let it be dear LORD.
“These things have I spoken unto you, that my joy might remain in you, and that your joy might be full.” John 15:11
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Abiding
The Death before the Death [podcast]

Gethsemane Preceded Calvary
“And he was withdrawn from them about a stone’s cast, and kneeled down, and prayed, 42 Saying, Father, if thou be willing, remove this cup from me: nevertheless not my will, but thine, be done. 43 And there appeared an angel unto him from heaven, strengthening him. 44 And being in an agony he prayed more earnestly: and his sweat was as it were great drops of blood falling down to the ground.” Luke 22:42-44
“He must increase, but I must decrease.” John 3:30
“Always bearing about in the body the dying of the Lord Jesus, that the life also of Jesus might be made manifest in our body. 11 For we which live are alway delivered unto death for Jesus’ sake, that the life also of Jesus might be made manifest in our mortal flesh. 12 So then death worketh in us, but life in you.” 2 Corinthians 4:10-12
“And he said to them all, If any man will come after me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross daily, and follow me. 24 For whosoever will save his life shall lose it: but whosoever will lose his life for my sake, the same shall save it. 25 For what is a man advantaged, if he gain the whole world, and lose himself, or be cast away?” Luke 9:23-25

Shall We Freshly Declare the Cross to be Front and Center in our Personal Lives?
“I am crucified with Christ: nevertheless I live; yet not I, but Christ liveth in me: and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by the faith of the Son of God, who loved me, and gave himself for me.” Galatians 2:20
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Articles8 years agoSelf-Examination in Preparation for the Lord’s Return
Apostasy3 years agoSHOCKING List of False Prophets Most Believe are True










































