Unconditional Love and Acceptance?

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Martin Bobgan, PhD.

Among the stellar emotional needs of humanistic psychology are unconditional acceptance, unconditional self-regard, unconditional self-acceptance, and unconditional love. The meaning of the word unconditional is “without conditions or reservations; absolute.”1 The practical extension of the theories of unconditional love is a permissive attitude and a morally nonrestrictive atmosphere. That means no conditions or restrictions in child rearing, counseling, and other human relationships. Since the parent or counselor is to be giving unconditional love, it must be an absolute love, unrestricted by human feelings or failings, since the very meaning of the word is “absolute.” But, if there is any absolute when it comes to love, it is that human love is limited. It is not what it was originally created to be, even in the best of people and circumstances, except when Jesus Himself is loving in and through a person.

Adler and Maslow considered these “unconditionals” to be basic human needs, essential to a person’s sense of wellbeing. They taught that people need to be loved and accepted unconditionally—without any conditions of performance. Thus their followers teach that parents must love and accept their children unconditionally. Moreover, they encourage all people to love and accept themselves unconditionally.

Adler, Maslow, Rogers and others believed that a human being will find answers to his own dilemmas and naturally blossom into his best self in an atmosphere of unconditional love and acceptance, by which they meant a permissive, unstructured atmosphere. Nevertheless, as much as they would like to think that they themselves loved their clients unconditionally, the truth of the matter is this: people are not able to love unconditionally.

The Myth of Unconditional Love

Unconditional love is a myth. That is because the human is naturally self-biased and the human heart is so deceitful that one can fool himself into thinking that he is loving unconditionally, when in fact he has all kinds of conditions. For instance, what kind of unconditional love and unconditional positive regard is at work when the client can no longer pay for services and therapy is discontinued? Furthermore, even the most nondirective counselors express approval or disapproval in subtle, if not direct, ways.2

The idea of people improving their life in an atmosphere of unconditional love is founded on the premise that people are born good and that their natural inclination to goodness is thwarted by their environment (mainly parents). In such a system, self is the victim of society but finds salvation, freedom, and fulfillment through unconditional self-love and self-acceptance. Unconditional love cannot be based upon performance or it wouldn’t be unconditional. Therefore, it must be based on the intrinsic worth of the person. Paul Brownback, in his book The Danger of Self-Love, explains it this way:

. . . by unconditional love we are speaking of love on the basis of being rather than doing. One implication of this teaching is the place of grandeur that it gives to the human being. I am lovable just because I am human; therefore being human, in and of itself, regardless of what I do with my humanness, must have some sort of independent value or worth. It is by itself a sufficient claim to respect and esteem.3

Thus, according to these self theories, everyone is born with the right to receive unconditional love and unconditional acceptance throughout his entire life, no matter what!

Pastors assigned to shepherd God’s flocks, should have been alert to the subtleties of deception that would turn a believer’s eyes from God to self. But alas, rather than warning the sheep, many of the shepherds have joined the psychologists and embrace their teachings of unconditional love and unconditional acceptance.

A Misunderstanding of God’s Love

The basis for their eager embrace is a misunderstanding of the love of God which passes knowledge. They equate unconditional love and acceptance with the fact that God’s love is vast, unfathomable, and unmerited. Then they follow that with the idea that if God loves and accepts people unconditionally, they should also love and accept themselves unconditionally. While this may sound like a logical progression, there are some serious problems with the basic assumptions. Therefore, we must address the question: Is God’s love unconditional? Are there any conditions that must be met to become a recipient of His love?

Paul prayed that the believers in Ephesus would be able to comprehend the breadth, length, depth and height of God’s love. He desired that they know the love of Christ, which surpasses knowledge, so that they would be filled with the fullness of God (Ephesians 3:16-19). The wide expanse of God’s love has been the theme of the gospel throughout the ages, for to know His love is to know Him. Therefore, any consideration of His love is highly important and must be based upon His revelation of Himself rather than upon the imagination of men.

Love According to Secular Humanism

Ever since the rise of secular humanism in this country and especially since the establishment of humanistic psychology, the popular, “relevant” term to describe God’s love has been unconditional. The thrust of this word in humanistic psychology has been both to give and to expect unconditional love from one another with no strings attached. While unconditional love and acceptance supposedly promote change and growth, they make no requirements. But God, who is love, requires and produces radical change—new life—and He enables His children to grow in righteousness.

In humanistic psychology, parents and society are always the culprits. Since they believe that every person is born with intrinsic worth and innate goodness, psychologists contend that one main reason people experience emotional and behavioral problems is because they have not received unconditional love from their parents. Following that thesis, Christians have come to believe that the best kind of love is unconditional love. It is the highest love secular humanists know. It is touted as a love that makes no demands for performance, good behavior, or the like. It has also been associated with a kind of permissiveness, since it makes no demands and has no conditions, even though the promoters of the unconditional love jargon would say that unconditional love does not have to dispense with discipline.

God’s Love Revealed through Scripture

Because the concept of unconditional love permeates society and because it is often thought of as the highest form of human love, it is natural for a Christian to use this term to describe God. After all, His love is far greater than any human love imaginable. God’s love for humanity is so great that “He gave His only begotten Son that whosoever believeth in Him should not perish, but have everlasting life” (John 3:16). Oh, the magnitude of the cost! We cannot even fathom His love even though our very breath depends upon it! His love indeed reaches to the heights and depths. Nevertheless, is God’s love truly unconditional?

God’s love is available to human beings by grace alone. There is nothing anyone can do to earn that love. There is no good work that is either demanded or even possible. Does that make God’s love unconditional? Because unconditional love is absolute and without any conditions whatsoever, all men would be saved if God’s love were unconditional. But that would be universalism. That would nullify the need for Christ’s sacrificial death and God’s condition of salvation by grace through faith.

We must also ask, does God’s love apply to the person who has sinned against the Holy Spirit by refusing to receive His grace throughout his lifetime and who is destined for hell? God chooses upon whom He will place His love and the benefits of his love. Did Jesus ever imply that God’s love is unconditional? He said to His disciples:

He that hath my commandments, and keepeth them, he it is that loveth me: and he that loveth me shall be loved of my Father, and I will love him, and will manifest myself to him (John 14:21).

One might argue, however, that the story of the prodigal son proves unconditional love. It indeed illustrates the vastness of God’s love, forgiveness and longsuffering. However, the son repented. If he had had a prosperous evil life he may never have repented. And while the father would have waited and hoped, he would not have extended his love. After all, he did not go out searching for him to support his folly. Up to a point this seems to indicate unconditional love, and yet, God is not waiting in ignorance, not knowing what those for whom His son died might be doing. He knows, and there comes a time when those who have refused his offer of love and forgiveness die and face the judgment. It is difficult enough to understand God’s love without adding the term unconditional which is loaded with secular, humanistic, psychological connotations. The story of the prodigal son teaches grace, forgiveness and mercy—but unconditional love? No!

While God loves with a greater love than humans can comprehend, His holiness and justice also must be taken into consideration. Therefore the term unconditional love is inadequate for defining God. It does not account for God’s reaction to pompous men who devise plans against Him and His anointed. The psalmist goes so far as to say:

He that sitteth in the heavens shall laugh: the Lord shall have them in derision. Then shall he speak to them in his wrath, and vex them in his sore displeasure (Psalm 2:4-5).

And what about Lot’s wife as she turned to look at the smoldering cities? Or what about Jesus’ words to the cities that refused to repent?

Woe unto thee, Chorazin! woe unto thee, Bethsaida! for if the mighty works, which were done in you, had been done in Tyre and Sidon, they would have repented long ago in sackcloth and ashes. But I say unto you, It shall be more tolerable for Tyre and Sidon at the day of judgment, than for you. And thou, Capernaum, which art exalted unto heaven, shalt be brought down to hell . . . . it shall be more tolerable for the land of Sodom in the day of judgment, than for thee (Matthew 11:21-24).

Does that sound like unconditional love?

But perhaps one could say that God’s love for the Christian is unconditional since the Christian partakes of His love and grace through faith. Wouldn’t it be better to say that the conditions have been met? Jesus met the first condition, to wash away the sin that God hates. The believer meets the second condition by grace through faith. Or, perhaps it would be better to say that God’s love extended to a person is conditioned by His plan to give eternal life to those who believe on His Son. The conditions of God’s love are resident within Himself.

There is a strong temptation to use vocabulary that is popular in society in order to make Christianity sound relevant. Christians have something far better than what the world offers, but in expressing that good news they confuse people by using words that are already loaded with humanistic connotations and systems of thought. It would be better not to use the expression unconditional love when describing God’s love. There are plenty of other good words.

In this was manifested the love of God toward us, because that God sent his only begotten Son into the world, that we might live through him.

Herein is love, not that we loved God, but that He loved us, and sent his Son to be the propitiation for our sins. . . .
And we have known and believed the love that God hath to us. God is love; and he that dwelleth in love dwelleth in God, and God in him (1 John 4:9, 10, 16).

The incomprehensible magnitude of God’s love surpasses any concept of love devised by humanistic psychologists. The doctrine of unconditional love is a myth that glorifies man rather than God.

1. Webster’s New Universal Unabridged Dictionary, Second Edition, 1983.
2. Jay Haley. Strategies of Psychotherapy. New York: Grune & Stratton, Inc., 1963, pp. 71, 82.
3. Paul Brownback. The Danger of Self-Love. Chicago: Moody Press, 1982, p. 66.

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Who is truly reigning in my heart?

“But those mine enemies, which would not that I should reign over them, bring hither, and slay them before me.” Luke 19:27

Am I an antichrist?

Are there professing Christians who have “the spirit of antichrist” reigning in their hearts, their personal lives?

“Let no man deceive you by any means: for that day shall not come, except there come a falling away first, and that man of sin be revealed, the son of perdition; 4 Who opposeth and exalteth himself above all that is called God, or that is worshipped; so that he as God sitteth in the temple of God, shewing himself that he is God.” 2 Thessalonians 2:3-4

Sitting upon the throne in the heart of this temple would make me an antichrist.

Anti as in antichrist means in place of: It’s the “spirit of antichrist” working through Satan’s false ministers that robs the glory from Jesus Christ (2 Corinthians 11:12-15; Colossians 1:18; 2:8-10, 18-19; 1 John 4:1-3, etc.).

anti – a. Against, opposed to. b. Before, predating. c. Usurping, in place of.

“Deceived people have no idea that they have been deceived, so they fight those who attempt to direct them back to the truth of the gospel.” Jim Borge

Those not excited for Jesus to return simply love this fleeting world and are not ready to meet the KING! Jesus is coming

We know when “that spirit of antichrist” is working through a rebel when he speaks contrary to God’s Word (John 8:47; 1 John 4:3). “That spirit of antichrist” – anti (in place of) Christ is anything that contradicts what God’s Word says, working to subvert divinely stated truth while posing as Christ’s minister (2 Corinthians 11:12-15).

“That spirit of antichrist” is witnessed in the human agents, possessed by devils who make it all about something, anything but Christ. The emphasis is taken away from Jesus Christ (Colossians 2:18-19). They make it about the church, Zionism/Israel, a nation, a genealogical people, a mere pastor, a man or men, an organization, a creed, a fraternal order, etc. This becomes clearer as the word “antichrist” is broken down. Anti means in place of.

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How has women leaving their homes hurt culture? It has hurt culture in many, many ways. Children are no longer being raised by their own mothers. They are being raised by daycare workers and teachers. “The rod and reproof give wisdom: but a child left to himself bringeth his mother to shame” (Proverbs 29:15). Children need a lot of teaching, training, and discipline. They aren’t receiving this if their mothers are away from them most of the day. These mothers are giving their best to others instead of to their children. These children are bringing shame to their mothers as they grow up. We are told this in God’s Word. All of the people we see rioting and burning down buildings were most likely not raised by a mother full time.

Women leaving their homes have hurt marriage. Women now initiate divorce 70 percent of the time since they no longer need to depend upon their husbands but can instead take half of what he owns and have them pay child support for many years. They are often too tired to put much time or energy into their marriages due to their careers. Marriage and raising children is FAR more important than having a career. There is nothing more important than raising the next generation, and children need a mother and father under the same roof and involved in their lives.

Women leaving their homes has hurt the old people. Old people no longer have their daughters around to help and give them comfort because their daughters are pursuing their careers. Young mothers hurt because they no longer have their mothers help because they have careers and they don’t have any older women involved in their lives due to careers. Neighbors don’t have people they can call on when they need help when all of the women are working away from their homes.

Women are more depressed and suicidal than ever before. They can’t expect anything different when they leave the clear path that God has chosen for them to pursue their own paths. God is our Creator and He is good. His ways for us are good. Women have been affected negatively since leaving their homes. Children have been abandoned and have been hurt the most. When the least among us is hurt the most, then we must carefully examine the path that we are on and switch course.

God-fearing women, I encourage you to go back to the paths that the Lord has laid out for you. If you think you can’t afford it, step out in faith in Almighty God. He tells us that His commands are not burdensome and that we can do all things through Christ who strengthens you. He wants you home full time. This is where He has given you to work and minister. Your work at home is not worthless! God will use you in powerful ways as you obey Him. He will bless you abundantly and the older you get, the more you will realize this.

Thus saith the LORD, Stand ye in the ways, and see, and ask for the old paths, where is the good way, and walk therein, and ye shall find rest for your souls. But they said, We will not walk therein. Jeremiah 6:16

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Articles

Was Jesus the “One and Only Son” OR the “Only Begotten Son”? [podcast]

Why was the virgin birth of Jesus Christ an absolute necessity, essential?

WHAT does the Bible word “begotten” mean to salvation? Everything! Remove it and there is no salvation and God lied!

AND you still don’t think the changes made by satan’s agents in the new fake “bible” versions doesn’t change essential doctrine? You better think again.

What are the 2 central, essential reasons Jesus had to be born of a virgin – “begotten of the Father” in the womb of a virgin? (John 1:14)

Because the Messiah had to be sinless in order to be the perfect sin offering to expiate the sins of fallen men (Hebrews 7:26; 1 John 2:22, etc.).
In fulfillment of Messianic prophecy (Isaiah 7:14; Matthew 1:23).

“Begotten of the Father” is the only way the virgin birth could occur and the only way Jesus could be sinless (John 1:14).

One writer notes:

“The woman cannot transmit the sin nature to her offspring. The male DNA chromosome is the carrier of Sin that passes it down. Jesus could not be born to an earthly father.

Jesus had to partake (participate) in our plight (Heb 2:14) for us to participate in His resurrection, ascension and session. He was willing to take our sin condition in exchange for His victorious righteousness and glory. He came down to earth and even went under the earth to rescue us to the top of heaven. Eph 2:6.

Jesus demonstrated that it would never be by military might, control, threat, coercion, violence or killing that He would deliver us but only by becoming a helpless little embryo in the woman’s womb then a weak little baby lying in a filthy manger between the ass of ignorance and the ox of self-will. And then a carpenter.

The weakness of God is stronger than man. In the divine economy, power is perfected in weakness.”

John 3:16 compared:

King James Bible

“For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.”

NIV

“For God loved the world so much that he gave his one and only Son, so that everyone who believes in him will not perish but have eternal life.”

ESV

“For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life.”

NLT

“For God loved the world so much that he gave his one and only Son, so that everyone who believes in him will not perish but have eternal life.

To say Jesus Christ was “the one and only Son” of God contradicts Holy Scripture

Unlike the new “bibles”, the King James Bible uses “only BEGOTTEN Son” as is correctly translated from the Majority Manuscripts.

Jesus Christ is unique in all history in that He alone had a divine Father. He was begotten (generated) of Father God in the womb of a virgin. This miracle has never nor ever will happen again. a virgin conceived and bore the “only begotten son of God.”

From now on, when you hear someone quote that Jesus is “the one and only Son,” you will know they are quoting from one of the many fake news “bibles.”

In John 3:16, the Devil’s new “bibles” say “his one and only son” instead of the “only begotten Son” which is essential to the plan of God, the Messiah, the church, and the people of this world for whom Jesus died. Make no mistake: This is a frontal attack on our LORD and Savior by His arch enemy. First off, Jesus was not the “one and only son.” That is a contradiction. How could Jesus possibly be “the one and only son” when the Bible says – “Behold, what manner of love the Father hath bestowed upon us, that we should be called the sons of God…” (1 John 3:1)?

This is a robbing of the glory of God which is the work of none other than Satan himself. If Jesus weren’t the “only BEGOTTEN SON” then He wasn’t born of a virgin and isn’t the Messiah. Biblical truth 101 ! The Bible says that we, His people, are “the sons of God … Beloved, now are we the sons of God.” (1 John 3:1-2)

Webster’s 1828 Dictionary:

BEGOT’, BEGOT’TEN, Procreated; generated.

After Adam, only one human being in History was procreated, generated by the heavenly Father. Jesus. ALL other men, women, had an earthly father whose blood was contaminated by sin (Romans 5:12, etc.).

Hundreds of years before Jesus was born in Bethlehem, God’s prophet Isaiah foretold that the Messiah would be born of a “virgin.”

“Therefore the Lord himself shall give you a sign; Behold, a virgin shall conceive, and bear a son, and shall call his name Immanuel.” Isaiah 7:14

Jesus Christ, if not “the only begotten of the Father”, is not the Messiah and is a fraud. There could be no more essential doctrine to the Christian faith.

If Jesus is not God He’s not the Messiah. Jesus says: “if ye believe not that I am he, ye shall die in your sins.” (John 8:24 )

Isaiah told us that the Messiah would be born of a virgin, “begotten,” and the “mighty God” and “Immanuel”, “GOD with us.” (Isaiah 7:14; 9:6-7; Matthew 1:21-23)

What are the 2 central reasons Jesus had to be born of a virgin – “begotten of the Father” in the womb of a virgin? (See John 1:14.)

“And the Word was made flesh, and dwelt among us, (and we beheld his glory, the glory as of the only begotten of the Father,) full of grace and truth.” John 1:14

Only by being both deity and humanity could Jesus Christ bridge the sin-caused chasm that divided the two parties after the first man sinned (John 1:14; 1 Timothy 3:16).

“No man hath seen God at any time; the only begotten Son, which is in the bosom of the Father, he hath declared him.” John 1:18

The “spirit of antichrist” denies that Jesus came in the flesh which means He was born of a virgin, begotten of the Father, and therefore divine.

“Hereby know ye the Spirit of God: Every spirit that confesseth that Jesus Christ is come in the flesh is of God: 3 And every spirit that confesseth not that Jesus Christ is come in the flesh is not of God: and this is that spirit of antichrist, whereof ye have heard that it should come; and even now already is it in the world.” 1 John 4:2-3

Holy Scripture informs us that “God was manifest in the flesh” and that was only possible by way of the divine Father God who begot Him in the womb of a virgin. “Immanuel” means God with us (Matthew 1:21-23; 1 Timothy 3:16 etc.).

There cannot possibly be a perfect sacrifice without a virgin birth executed by divine operation.

One writer notes:

“The DNA/chromosomes of the Sin Nature (“Sin” Rom 5:12) I believe can only be passed down thru the male. The woman cannot pass it down. Therefore the woman could be impregnated by the Holy Spirit and the child, Jesus, did not receive from Mary a sin nature or flesh. He was 100 % human but without a sin nature. God with sinless skin on. He maintained this state of sinless perfection all his life and had no sin nature until He drank and absorbed the cup of Sin right before He died. He was “made sin” in order that we might get rid of sin and become the righteousness of God having received the life of God in this very real exchange that happens at the cross. 2 Cor 5:21.”

Jesus’ blood had of necessity to be sinless, and it was. This is exactly why He had to be begotten, generated by God the Father in the womb of a virgin – one who never knew a man:

“For the life of the flesh is in the blood: and I have given it to you upon the altar to make an atonement for your souls: for it is the blood that maketh an atonement for the soul.” Leviticus 17:11

“And almost all things are by the law purged with blood; and without shedding of blood is no remission.” Hebrews 9:22

“The Blood”

“it is the blood that maketh an atonement for the soul.” (Leviticus 17:11) Say that out loud beloved of God.

Jesus Christ is God

Anyone who doesn’t believe that Jesus Christ was born of a virgin, begotten of the heavenly Father, and is divine, is a Christ-denying unbeliever and not saved.

Saints, let us return to the King James Bible and burn the enemy’s counterfeits. Check this out. Watch how the real Bible uses the phrase “the sons of God” referring to the people of God, the born again disciples of Jesus:

“But as many as received him, to them gave he power to become the SONS OF GOD, even to them that believe on his name:” John 1:12

“For as many as are led by the Spirit of God, they are the SONS OF GOD.” Romans 8:14

“For the earnest expectation of the creature waiteth for the manifestation of the SONS OF GOD.” Romans 8:19

“And because YE ARE SONS, God hath sent forth the Spirit of his Son into your hearts, crying, Abba, Father.” Galatians 4:6

“That ye may be blameless and harmless, the SONS OF GOD, without rebuke, in the midst of a crooked and perverse nation, among whom ye shine as lights in the world;” Philippians 2:15

The Only Begotten Son of God [podcast] | Fake News Bible Versions Exposed

God knew that wicked men, posing as His representatives, would appear throughout history to change His Word, as if it were a living, malable document. Not. This is why He told us He never changes and that His Word is “settled in heaven” and will never change by way of Him (Psalms 89:34; 119:89; Malachi 3:6; Mark 13:31, etc.). The LORD who “changeth not” specifically attached highest price tag, most severe punishment, to anyone who dare add to or take away from His words (Revelation 22:18-19). Satan himself is the one who influences wicked me to change God’s Word – “Satan cometh immediately, and taketh away the word.” (Mark 4:15). This description is not limited to and yet definitely applies to the “bibles” which are peddled by seminarian salesmen as being “easier to understand” and yet, these vile deceivers never mention how the content, the text of Scripture has been butchered.

For the above mentioned biblical reasons, we know of a certainty, that any person who participates in or justifies the changing of God’s Word, is of the devil (Proverbs 30:5-6; John 8:47, etc.). Beware.

Personally, I cannot endorse what are clearly Satan’s cheap subsitutes and counterfeits of God’s Word and therefore cannot recommend and definitely discourage any and all believers, not matter the maturity level, to read the King James Bible.

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John 1:18 The Only Begotten Son

by Will Kinney JOHN 1:18 “No man hath seen God at any time; the only begotten Son, which is in the bosom of the Father, he hath declared him.” John 1:18 The Codex Vaticanus has μονογενὴς θεός (only begotten God) here in John 1:18 instead of the usual μονογενὴς υἱός (only begotten Son) “No man hath seen God at any time; THE ONLY BEGOTTEN SON, which is in the bosom of the Father, he hath declared him.” John 1:18 presents us with a classical case of confusion caused by the modern Bible correctors. The phrase in question is “the only begotten Son.” There […]

Jesus Paid it All [podcast]

“by the sacrifice of himself“ “Now once in the end of the world hath he appeared to put away sin by the sacrifice of himself.” Hebrews 9:26 “ALL have sinned” against our God and so our own good works do not atone for our sins (Isaiah 64:6; Romans 3:10, 23; Ephesians 2:8-9, etc.). ONLY Jesus could and did do that for us – make the atonement that brings us back to God. The LORD is “Holy, holy, holy” and therefore takes sin seriously (Isaiah 6:3; Revelation 4:8). The coming of Jesus to die on that cross reveals how loving […]

The Unsearchable Riches of Christ [podcast]

The Mystery Revealed Ephesians 3 Paul gave no glory to the sinful men who imprisoned him. Eph 3:1 For this cause I Paul, the prisoner of Jesus Christ for you Gentiles, The apostle took pleasure in these afflictions for the sake of Christ. We are reminded of his thorn in the flesh where Paul gave no glory to “the messenger of Satan” whom God allowed to afflict him … 2Co 12:9 And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, […]

The Only Begotten Son of God [podcast]

SHOCKER: This message exposes how Satan’s new “bibles” attack the cardinal doctrines of the Christian faith. The virgin birth, the divinity of Jesus Christ, and the perfect sacrifice for man’s sin cannot be separated. “And the Word was made flesh, and dwelt among us, (and we beheld his glory, the glory as of the only begotten of the Father,) full of grace and truth.” John 1:14 “Begotten” means “to father” WHY does the King James Bible use the word “begotten” when informing us of the Messiah? (See John 1:14, 18; 3:16; Hebrews 11:17; 1 John 4:9.) Firstly, the translators […]