I am Jake Eakin and this is my testimony.
For the first 11 years of my life I was just your average kid.
But all of that would change forever on a cold, rainy day in February 2003 in Ephrata Washington. I was 12 years old, and I found myself in a park with my best friend Evan.
We did not go to that park that day to murder Craig Sorger. It was just another day in my average life, until Evan pulled a knife out of his pocket and told me he “wanted to go on a killing spree.” At first I thought he was just making a sick joke. Surely he wasn’t serious.
But I soon found myself following him to a nearby travel trailer, where 13 year old Craig Sorger lived. Evan knocked on the door, and asked Craig’s mom if he could play.
We roamed the park, playing near a canal before stopping to build a fort in a wooded area in the back of the park.
This was when my average life changed forever.
Evan asked Craig to touch the ground for 10 seconds; Craig got on the ground and began counting. At 9, Evan dropped a rock on the back of Craig’s neck, knocking him to the ground.
I got up and tried to stop Evan. I said, “Stop!” Evan got off Craig and pushed me to the ground. I stayed there and watched Evan began hitting Craig — more than 30 times. Several times Craig tried to get away but Evan repeatedly pulled him back to the ground and continued to strike him. I did not see anything in Evan’s hand, but he was stabbing Craig to death.
I look back and I wish that I would have done something to rescue Craig. It’s one reason I now do everything in my power to rescue the preborn from the slaughter.
The attack lasted minutes, after which Craig remained motionless on the ground. I then picked up a stick and was going to hit Evan, but he had a terrifying look in his eyes. I was afraid that I was the next in his killing spree. So I braced the stick, walked past Evan, and struck Craig in the head and legs before throwing the stick to the ground.
Evan said nothing. He walked to me and he shook my hand.
3 days later we were arrested for 1st degree murder and held on $1 million dollar bail.
We spent months proclaiming our innocence, first saying that we had seen Craig walking towards home from the park. We later said Craig had fallen from a tree.
We were tried as adults, becoming the youngest defendants tried as adults in Washington state history.
A year would pass before I broke down and finally told the truth about what happened. I would plead guilty of 2nd degree murder by complicity and sentenced to 14 years.
After my sentencing, a journalist asked me if I was angry I received a 14 years sentence. I said, “No. I deserved worse.”
The next day I was transferred to prison.
My time in prison started badly. I spent the majority of my time in solitary confinement for fighting.
I was locked into a 8- by- 10 foot cell for 23 hours per day, where the lights were on all the time. There were no windows in my cell to let in light. My only view was the window in the cell door that looked out onto a sterile cellblock.
When I was allowed out for one hour of recreation per day, I would first be strip-searched. Then I would be shackled hand and feet and taken by two guards to a small brick cage that was my exercise yard. I was not allowed to talk to the guards, or to the other prisoners. I would then be shackled again, and led back to my cell. All meals were served to me through a slot in my cell door.
I lived like this year after year after year.
The only positive that came from all those years in solitary confinement was that I taught myself how to read and write. I spent all of my time reading book after book. I must have read thousands of books.
Those years in solitary confinement must have also taught me a lesson because I stayed out of trouble for the rest of my sentence.
For the 14 years I spent in prison there was only one thing I looked forward to: visits from my best friend Marissa. We had been friends since we were 9 years old, our fathers worked together, and she had served as my character witness at my trial. She attended my sentencing hearing. We exchanged hundreds of letters over last decade I spent in prison, and 5 years before I was released we fell in love.
In 2016, three months before my sentence was up, I escaped. I fled my work release program in Yakima, WA and hitchhiked 300 miles to Idaho. From there I jumped on a bus to South Dakota, where U.S. Marshals captured my at gun point at a Rapid City bus stop.
Looking back now I was simply overwhelmed by the responsibilities of work release after living my entire life behind bars.
I served out the rest of my sentence in state prison before being transferred to county jail to be charged with 1st degree escape. I faced 5 more years in prison.
I found myself on the top floor of one of the worst county jails in the country. The first day I witnessed a man murdered by 2 other prisoners.
It was in this environment that God began to work on me.
In my jail cell I found 3 books: the Bible, the journals of Jim Elliot, and Eric Metaxas biography on Detrich Bonhoeffer. This last book sparked my interest in reading the Bible. I was impressed by Bonhoeffer’s bold stand against the Nazi Holocaust.
In my cell, I began to read the Bible. Every hour that I was awake, I was reading it. I would spend five, six hours reading, then fall asleep, wake up, and begin reading from where I left off.
On January 7th, 2017 I remember falling on my knees and calling out to God to save me. I know that we are saved by repentance and faith, but at the point of conversion all I knew was that God loved me and I was saved. I remember getting up from the floor of my jail cell and it was like the old Jake Eakin stayed there dead, and a new Jake Eakin rose from the dead, and I knew that nothing would ever be the same again. The grace of God found me on the floor of a jail cell. He met me there and and changed me forever.
I was born again.
I realize that I was not worthy of the grace that I had been given, I was a murderer; and I deserved nothing but death and hell. But by the grace of God I was alive and I wanted to spend the rest of my life obeying the call of my King with every breath of grace I had in my lungs.
I hope my testimony sheds light on the truth of the Gospel and it’s power to save the worst sinners. No sin is too deep that God’s amazing grace cannot reach. We serve a mighty God who can take murderers and transform them into instruments to advance His Kingdom.
Paul was a zealous murderer out for Christian blood before God used him to save thousands. We serve a God who can save repentant murderers.
When I was released in February 2017, I briefly moved in with my family. Within months I married Marissa. But I remember feeling adrift, not sure what God wanted me to do with my life.
A few weeks before my wedding, while sitting on a coach with Marissa, I saw a YouTube video that stopped me in my tracks. It was of Rusty Thomas, the National Director of Operation Save America, staging a rescue outside an abortion clinic in Louisville, Kentucky. At one point in the video, Rusty Thomas was sitting on the sidewalk in handcuffs and he turned to his son, Jeremiah Thomas, and told him, “Son, this is your heritage.”
Something about the look on Jeremiah’s face broke my heart for the preborn children being murdered through abortion. I had never even thought about abortion before that moment. But I felt the Lord move on me and break my heart for the preborn. It changed my life forever.
All glory to God for what He has done in my life. I have nothing good in myself. I am a redeemed murderer., deserving of death and hellfire. But God chose to radically change me.
If God can save me then no one is beyond His power to save.
Making Peace with God – Before it’s too Late
Abiding
The Death before the Death [podcast]

Gethsemane Preceded Calvary
“And he was withdrawn from them about a stone’s cast, and kneeled down, and prayed, 42 Saying, Father, if thou be willing, remove this cup from me: nevertheless not my will, but thine, be done. 43 And there appeared an angel unto him from heaven, strengthening him. 44 And being in an agony he prayed more earnestly: and his sweat was as it were great drops of blood falling down to the ground.” Luke 22:42-44
“He must increase, but I must decrease.” John 3:30
“Always bearing about in the body the dying of the Lord Jesus, that the life also of Jesus might be made manifest in our body. 11 For we which live are alway delivered unto death for Jesus’ sake, that the life also of Jesus might be made manifest in our mortal flesh. 12 So then death worketh in us, but life in you.” 2 Corinthians 4:10-12
“And he said to them all, If any man will come after me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross daily, and follow me. 24 For whosoever will save his life shall lose it: but whosoever will lose his life for my sake, the same shall save it. 25 For what is a man advantaged, if he gain the whole world, and lose himself, or be cast away?” Luke 9:23-25

Shall We Freshly Declare the Cross to be Front and Center in our Personal Lives?
“I am crucified with Christ: nevertheless I live; yet not I, but Christ liveth in me: and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by the faith of the Son of God, who loved me, and gave himself for me.” Galatians 2:20
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Abiding
“Rend Your Heart, and Not Your Garments” [podcast]

Who Does God Look to? Who Does God Dwell in?
Beware of any man pretending to represent Christ who isn’t praying and preaching for you to be possessed by a humble and contrite heart.
“Blessed are the poor in spirit: for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.” Matthew 5:3
“‘Blessed are the poor in spirit: for theirs is the kingdom of heaven’ (Matthew 5:3). A low condition. ‘Blessed are they that mourn: for they shall be comforted’ (Matthew 5:4). To mourn over our sin and our utter wickedness before a holy and righteous God. Those are the ones who will receive the comfort and ‘joy in the Holy Ghost’ (Romans 14:17).” Karen Cochran
Abandoning Our Own Sin, Our Own Way, for God and His Better Way!
To “rend your heart” is a biblical phrase meaning to tear open your heart in radical sincerity, true humility, and genuine repentance.
The phrase comes from Joel 2:13 in the Bible: “Rend your heart and not your garments and return to the Lord your God.”
One source notes the following:
“Context and Deeper Meaning:
- Cultural Background: In ancient times, the Jewish people would tear (rend) their clothes as a public, highly visible display of grief or repentance.
- The Spiritual Message: God is warning that outward rituals (like ripping clothing) are meaningless if the heart remains unchanged. Rending your heart implies breaking through your pride, letting go of excuses, and being completely vulnerable and authentic before God.
- The Reward: The verse goes on to say that God is “gracious and compassionate, slow to anger and abounding in love.” Tearing open your heart allows you to experience His forgiveness and restore your relationship with Him.”
To see an example of rending one’s physical garment in representation of rending their heart, see Acts 14:11-18.
Where is the LORD Looking?
“But the Lord said unto Samuel, Look not on his countenance, or on the height of his stature; because I have refused him: for the Lord seeth not as man seeth; for man looketh on the outward appearance, but the Lord looketh on the heart.” 1 Samuel 16:7
“Therefore also now, saith the Lord, turn ye even to me with all your heart, and with fasting, and with weeping, and with mourning: 13 and rend your heart, and not your garments, and turn unto the Lord your God: for he is gracious and merciful, slow to anger, and of great kindness, and repenteth him of the evil. 14Who knoweth if he will return and repent, and leave a blessing behind him; even a meat offering and a drink offering unto the Lord your God” Joel 2:12-14
“What a gracious invitation is contained in these words. How tenderly the Lord reasons with his people. And what an encouraging assurance it folds up with. Reader! do not fail to observe that this call of the Lord, the accompanying grace to incline the heart to the observance of it is implied. It is most blessed ever to remember that when the Lord thus comes forth in his endearing invitations, he is secretly inclining the heart to accept them. Grace must first enter the heart, or there will be no inclination to obey.” Robert Hawker
“Jeremiah’s message was never meant to leave the heart in despair. Every warning from God carried an invitation to return. The Lord does not expose empty religion to shame His people, but to heal them. Repentance is not the loss of hope, it is the beginning of hope. Christ still receives every soul that comes with humility, and He gives living faith where there was only habit, peace where there was only fear, and joy where there was only emptiness. The call remains the same today, to draw near to Him with a sincere heart, trusting that His mercy is always greater than our weakness.” Dan Blincoe
A Fresh Start with God Always Begins with Humility and True Repentance
“Repent ye therefore, and be converted, that your sins may be blotted out, when the times of refreshing shall come from the presence of the Lord.” Acts 3:19
“Therefore also now, saith the Lord, turn ye even to me with all your heart, and with fasting, and with weeping, and with mourning: 13 and rend your heart, and not your garments, and turn unto the Lord your God: for he is gracious and merciful, slow to anger, and of great kindness, and repenteth him of the evil. 14Who knoweth if he will return and repent, and leave a blessing behind him; even a meat offering and a drink offering unto the Lord your God?” Joel 2:12-14
Concerning rending our hearts before the LORD, one source notes:
The classic Bible passage on this concept is Joel 2:13, where God commands: “Rend your heart and not your garments”. In ancient biblical culture, tearing (or “rending”) one’s physical clothing was a customary, visible display of extreme grief, despair, or repentance. Through the prophet Joel, God is essentially telling His people: Stop doing the empty, outward religious ritual of tearing your clothes to show everyone how sorry you are. Instead, let me see true, inward brokenness over your sins.
Examples of Rending Physical Garments
In the Bible, the physical act of tearing clothes was used as a dramatic expression of deep emotion in several well-known narratives:
- Joseph’s Brothers (Genesis 37:29, 34): When Reuben realized Joseph was not in the pit, and later when the brothers brought Joseph’s blood-stained coat to Jacob, they tore their clothes in grief and despair.
- Job (Job 1:20): After hearing that he had lost all his wealth and his children, Job stood up and tore his robe as an outward sign of his overwhelming sorrow.
- King David (2 Samuel 1:11-12): When David received news of the deaths of King Saul and Jonathan, he and his men tore their clothes to mourn.
- The High Priest (Matthew 26:65): In a dramatic display of hypocritical outrage, the high priest tore his own garments when Jesus declared He was the Son of God, falsely accusing Him of blasphemy.
The Spiritual Meaning of “Rending the Heart”
The concept of “rending the heart” contrasts an outward show with inward reality.
- Genuine Repentance: Tearing your heart means being vulnerable, acknowledging your brokenness, and deeply repenting of sin before God.
- Prioritizing Relationships over Rituals: God desires a sincere heart—true sorrow and a desire to change—more than he desires traditional religious pageantry or dramatic, public displays of grief.
- The Promise of Forgiveness: In Joel 2:13, the command to rend the heart is immediately followed by the promise of grace: “Return to the LORD your God, for he is gracious and compassionate, slow to anger and abounding in love”.
God sees beyond our external habits and religious actions, requiring instead a humble, contrite heart to fully experience His mercy.”
God’s Mercy
“Therefore also now, saith the LORD, turn ye even to me with all your heart, and with fasting, and with weeping, and with mourning: 13 And rend your heart, and not your garments, and turn unto the LORD your God: for he is gracious and merciful, slow to anger, and of great kindness, and repenteth him of the evil. 14 Who knoweth if he will return and repent, and leave a blessing behind him; even a meat offering and a drink offering unto the LORD your God?” Joel 2:12-14
In God’s Word, where we see men who tear open their garments…. This holds the illustration of rending our hearts before the LORD.
Don’t render outward tearing, no, rather, tear open your inner man, your heart—be honest, sincere, exposed, and vulnerable to the LORD whom you trust.
Let’s attempt to get at, to ascertain what God is commanding of His beloved people to do in this “rend your heart” passage.
“Joel 2:13: Rend your heart—Let it not be merely a rending of your garments, but let your hearts be truly contrite. Merely external worship and hypocritical pretensions will only increase the evil, and cause God to meet you with heavier judgments.
For he is gracious—Good and benevolent in his own nature.
Merciful—Pitying and forgiving, as the effect of goodness and benevolence.
Slow to anger —He is not easily provoked to punish, because he is gracious and merciful.
Of great kindness—Exuberant goodness to all them that return to him.
And repenteth him of the evil—Is ever ready to change his purpose to destroy, when he finds the culprit willing to be saved. See the notes on Exo_34:6, Exo_34:7.” Adam Clarke
“Joel 2:12-14: III. DIVINE APPEAL TO JUDAH TO REPENT (2:12-14)
Even now, the LORD calls the people to repentance. It is not too late to return to Him. But it must be more than outward ritual. Their turning was to be with all their heart, with fasting, with weeping, and with mourning.” Believer’s Bible Commentary
To rend our hearts is the consistent message, mandate of God to His people of all ages and eras.
“The Lord is nigh unto them that are of a broken heart; and saveth such as be of a contrite spirit.” Psalms 34:18
“The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit: a broken and a contrite heart, O God, thou wilt not despise.” Psalms 51:17
In Joel 2 the LORD reminds those who are backslidden that He “is gracious and merciful, slow to anger, and of great kindness, and repenteth him of the evil. 14 Who knoweth if he will return and repent, and leave a blessing behind him; even a meat offering and a drink offering unto the LORD your God? …”
They must meet His stated conditions to receive His blessings ….
He promises that He will forgive them as they…..
“Joel 2:12-27: THE AVERTING OF JUDGMENT
To rend the garment is easy, but a broken and contrite heart can be imparted only by the grace of the Holy Spirit. The love of God should bring us to repentance. He takes no pleasure in our miseries and if men repent and turn from their sin they find an immediate and loving welcome to the Father’s heart and home. Joel had called for the trumpet to announce war; he now directs the trumpet blast to summon the people, from the highest to the lowest, to plead for help. Prayer and true repentance and faith bring an immediate answer. As the husband yearns over his erring but repentant wife, and is indignant with those who have maltreated her, so will Jehovah remove from us, when we turn to Him, those who have cruelly oppressed us.
The great things Jehovah did against Egypt and Babylon are an earnest of what He will do again. The earth (and all the creation of God) … have good reason to rejoice in what awaits them. God promises not only to forgive sin, but to make us happy and well provided as if the locust and cankerworm had never settled upon our lives.” FB Meyer
Religious hypocrites, counterfeits, emphasize the outward to cover their inner darkness, rebellion.
“Woe unto you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! for ye pay tithe of mint and anise and cummin, and have omitted the weightier matters of the law, judgment, mercy, and faith: these ought ye to have done, and not to leave the other undone. 24 Ye blind guides, which strain at a gnat, and swallow a camel. 25 Woe unto you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! for ye make clean the outside of the cup and of the platter, but within they are full of extortion and excess. Matthew 23:23-25
“He answered and said unto them, Well hath Esaias prophesied of you hypocrites, as it is written, This people honoureth me with their lips, but their heart is far from me.” Mark 7:6
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Articles
God and His Word are Unchanging [podcast]

Because God is Unchanging, So is His Word
“For I am the Lord, I change not; therefore ye sons of Jacob are not consumed.” Malachi 3:6
“Which keepeth truth for ever” – Is the Bible “Archaic”? No. Divine truth is everlasting. Has no expiration date. You cannot escape accountability to it, to Him. It’s an open book test. The Savior says “Heaven and earth shall pass away: but my words shall not pass away” (Mark 13:31). Divine truth is eternal, unchanging, and binding upon all men (Psalms 146:6; Malachi 3:6, etc.).
Every time you open God’s Word and begin reading, you are hearing the voice of God.
“But of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, thou shalt not eat of it: for in the day that thou eatest thereof thou shalt surely die.” Genesis 2:17
“Now the serpent was more subtil than any beast of the field which the Lord God had made. And he said unto the woman, Yea, hath God said, Ye shall not eat of every tree of the garden?” Genesis 3:1 (the devil questions God’s Word, questions what God says in His Word.)
“And the serpent said unto the woman, Ye shall NOT surely die.” Genesis 3:4
“Every word of God is pure: he is a shield unto them that put their trust in him. 6 Add thou not unto his words, lest he reprove thee, and thou be found a liar.” Proverbs 30:5-6
“For I testify unto every man that heareth the words of the prophecy of this book, If any man shall add unto these things, God shall add unto him the plagues that are written in this book: 19 and if any man shall take away from the words of the book of this prophecy, God shall take away his part out of the book of life, and out of the holy city, and from the things which are written in this book.” Revelation 22:18-19
“Ye shall not add unto the word which I command you, neither shall ye diminish ought from it, that ye may keep the commandments of the Lord your God which I command you.” Deuteronomy 4:2
“For we are not as many, which corrupt the word of God: but as of sincerity, but as of God, in the sight of God speak we in Christ.” 2 Corinthians 2:17
“Ye have perverted the words of the living God, of the LORD of hosts our God.” Jeremiah 23:36
“all the words that I command thee to speak unto them; diminish not a word:” Jeremiah 26:2
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