ATTN UNMARRIED DISCIPLE: A person who isn’t consumed with Christ does NOT qualify for you! Dare we waste the one life God gives us on earth married to an enemy of Christ?
Though there are other natural attractions, the primary attraction between unmarried Christians must be Christ!
The world has made it all about the 2-hour wedding, the average which costs tens of thousand$, and not about the relationship, the lifelong marriage.
SO you met someone who isn’t excited that you are saved? Not your mate!
ARE YOU UNMARRIED? – “Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness?” (2 Corinthians 6:14)
IF you are truly born again, you are not looking for A mate who isn’t (2 Corinthians 6:14).
CANDIDATE FOR A MATE? THERE’S no way it’s going to work unless they are truly born again, Holy Spirit filled, and seeking Jesus daily! We waste our time vainly thinking that it could be God’s will to unite us with anything less than a full blown born again disciple who is presently serving Jesus daily. It’s not. Remember the LORD owns all souls, made and owns this whole planet, and has that one precious saint to unite you with. Saint of Christ, perhaps today, you may wish to pause, get before God in prayer, and ask HIM to bring you together with that one born again disciple of His for marriage – desiring to humbly serve and be a blessing to that mate, helping prayerfully to see God fulfill His perfect, fruitful will in their life! Ask Him to get your own house in order, to prepare you for the ROLE (male/female) He’s ordained you to fulfill in that marriage.
MARRY someone who appreciates and celebrates your life with Jesus! Equal yoking!
You are asking God to give you the gift of one of His true followers as your mate for this life, right? God knows we don’t want a lukewarm counterfeit, right? In light of this, please allow me to suggest that you make it clear up front when you meet someone. Recently I did just that. Here’s what I stated to a lady who professed to be a Christian soon after we met:
“I am praying for a wife who is first and foremost a truly God fearing born again disciple of Jesus.”
Get it out there saints. Use Bible words like “born again.” (John 3:3, 7) If they aren’t authentically in Christ, you don’t want them for a mate! Remember, you are praying and looking for that ONE special person! Praise God for eliminating counterfeits. | What it means to be born again.
The truly born again disciple of Jesus is learning to consent to the cross life. The LORD is preparing those of His who are learning the daily cross – for a successful marriage that glorifies Him. ABS = Always Be Serving. Lay down your life (Philippians 2).
“For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body.” Ephesians 5:23
When a godly woman marries a man, she is trusting him to lead her and the family in the right ways of the LORD. Remember ladies, when you agree to marry a man, you are agreeing to submit to his headship. This is a non negotiable divine truth. Christ is the Head of the man and the man is the head of the woman.
“But I would have you know, that the head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman is the man; and the head of Christ is God.” 1 Corinthians 11:3
ATTENTION UNMARRIED CHRISTIAN: KNOW exactly what you are looking for! Make no excuse for anyone! Never mind the “but but but he’s this or she’s that….” Refuse to prop someone up! Discern, look for their real fruit! Do they talk about Jesus? Are they learning God’s Word? Are they laying down their life daily, denying self to serve Jesus and others? (Matthew 22:37-40) If they aren’t truly born again, unashamed of and serving Jesus daily – RUN! If they don’t honor you as Jesus would have all Christians do, RUN! Otherwise, you are walking into a trap of un-expressible horror/proportions! Just ask another believer who has married a counterfeit!
The young woman who was the person God used to get me saved, stood firm in Christ. We were attracted to each other physically, but she wasted no time telling me (at that time still a sinner) that I needed to get saved or she would have no relationship with me. She knew this 2 Corinthians 6:14 verse well and lived it. She was physically stunning by the way and not about to sacrifice her life with Christ for any man, though she desired marriage ultimately.
IT DOES NOT matter how much you WANT/WISH someone is saved-that DOES NOT mean they are! fruit!
IF you are entertaining the thought of marrying someone who is not grounded soundly in God’s Word and love, you are walking into an unequal yoking trap and will suffer long for such.
IF someone doesn’t esteem and highly honor the work of Christ in you and your calling to humbly serve Him, they are not God’s gift/mate for you. It’s a closed door. Check out how Abigail addresses David who later became her husband. Read this closely, prayerfully.
If she/he’s not turned on by your life in Christ, he/she’s a counterfeit!
ARE you unmarried and praying for a godly mate for an equally yoked marriage? Amen. Try finding someone else in the same state and lift them up to the LORD in prayer. Give your life in prayer for other of Christ’s saints. Acts 20:35, amen?
The Abigail and David Example
Recently a brother in Christ told me about a Christian lady he is courting. He said: “She’s very sweet and very caring and she respects me. She honors me.”
Wow now this is the kind of godly person every unmarried Christian should pray for, right?
“(Abigail speaking to David) I pray thee, forgive the trespass of thine handmaid: for the LORD will certainly make my lord a sure house; because my lord fighteth the battles of the LORD, and evil hath not been found in thee all thy days. 29 Yet a man is risen to pursue thee, and to seek thy soul: but the soul of my lord shall be bound in the bundle of life with the LORD thy God; and the souls of thine enemies, them shall he sling out, as out of the middle of a sling. 30 And it shall come to pass, when the LORD shall have done to my lord according to all the good that he hath spoken concerning thee, and shall have appointed thee ruler over Israel; 31 That this shall be no grief unto thee, nor offence of heart unto my lord, either that thou hast shed blood causeless, or that my lord hath avenged himself: but when the LORD shall have dealt well with my lord, then remember thine handmaid.” 1 Samuel 25:28-31
David’s response to Abigail was equally as godly and endearing:
“And David said to Abigail, Blessed be the LORD God of Israel, which sent thee this day to meet me: 33 And blessed be thy advice, and blessed be thou, which hast kept me this day from coming to shed blood, and from avenging myself with mine own hand. 34 For in very deed, as the LORD God of Israel liveth, which hath kept me back from hurting thee, except thou hadst hasted and come to meet me, surely there had not been left unto Nabal by the morning light any that pisseth against the wall. 35 So David received of her hand that which she had brought him, and said unto her, Go up in peace to thine house; see, I have hearkened to thy voice, and have accepted thy person.” 1 Samuel 25:32-35
When Nabal, her first husband died, David sent for Abigail to be his wife. Her response was fabulously godly:
And when the servants of David were come to Abigail to Carmel, they spake unto her, saying, David sent us unto thee, to take thee to him to wife. 41 And she arose, and bowed herself on her face to the earth, and said, Behold, let thine handmaid be a servant to wash the feet of the servants of my lord. 42 And Abigail hasted, and arose, and rode upon an ass, with five damsels of hers that went after her; and she went after the messengers of David, and became his wife.” 1 Samuel 25:40-42
Dear Unmarried Christian: ARE YOU praying and looking for someone who is rich this fleeting world? Or, are you truly Christ’s and therefore sanctified and looking for someone who is rich in Christ, in faith, in humility, and in the Scriptures?
Is your view of success God’s? What do the Scriptures teach? So very many unmarried people looking for someone who is successful in this world instead of a successful, cross-bearing disciple of Christ. Ungodly, Carnal, Self-serving, Horrible marriage coming for those who choose unwisely-outside of the truth of Scripture. Are you looking for a true disciple or someone who loves this present, fleeting world and is therefore the enemy of Christ? (Luke 16:15; James 4:4; 1 John 2:15-17)
IF you are making excuses for someone’s rebellion instead of honestly assessing the situation, that’s going to come back to haunt you! FRUIT! (Matthew 3:7-10; 7:16, 20)
It’s REAL SIMPLE: When a person is right with God: They live to serve God and others, not self! (Matthew 22:37-40)
The LORD was using her and she invited me to a tent meeting where for the first time in my life, I heard the Gospel of the grace of God in Christ Jesus and was saved.
CLUE for the unmarried: If 2 people aren’t FINDING ways to be together, that’s a closed door.
If you are unmarried and desire a mate, step back and evaluate whether or not the person or people you may be considering are truly and genuinely born again.
Recently, a sister in Christ who desires to be married asked me what she should be looking for in a man. She said she has had several relationships with men who claim to be Christians, but the fruit of their daily lives did not testify to a relationship with Christ. I told her that if a man is not first born again, confessing Jesus, engaging in a life of prayer with Jesus, and in the Word of God daily, he is not a true disciple and not a candidate for a God-fearing woman.
What are you doing to demonstrate to Christ that you are prepared to serve your mate in marriage? The cross – where we are serving Jesus and others, not self – is the only way a godly, good relationship can happen. Is the cross in your personal life and therefore your relationships? The Daily Cross
The LORD MUST be First, Not Your Mate!
God is Jealous! (Exodus 34:14) He will not be second to anyone but MUST be your “FIRST love” – first priority in all things (Revelation 2:4-5). It’s only out of the life that is truly loving, worshipping, obeying God that HIS divine love will flow and make marriage ultimate! The cross!
Jeni Marie Lorance writes:
“But we must beware of the tendency to begin to love our spouse more than our God. Then it becomes a curse. No one comes before GOD.
There was a time I desired so much a spouse. The Lord told me, “You want him so badly…but I want you and your ignoring me.”
Let that NEVER be said of me again.
Now I say, “Lord, I’d rather live single and do your will and be passionately in love with YOU. ”
And I mean it. (And God knows I mean it)
It’s better to be in love with God and have no one than to be on love with someone else and our relationship with God suffer.
But of course you can have both thriving.”
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Abiding
Jesus Conquered Sin, Satan, and Death by Dying [podcast]

“Forasmuch then as the children are partakers of flesh and blood, he also himself likewise took part of the same; that through death he might destroy him that had the power of death, that is, the devil; 15 And deliver them who through fear of death were all their lifetime subject to bondage.” Hebrews 2:14-15
Through death Jesus conquered sin, death, and Satan and made His people free, washing away their sins in His precious blood and putting His Holy Spirit in them, empowering them to live fruit-filled victorious lives to His eternal glory!
Christ’s resurrection guarantees our resurrection – both now and for eternnity. Those raised up with Christ now are those who are crucified with Him. This is His holy “remnant.” (Isaiah 37:31; Romans 8:11; 1 Corinthians 15, etc.).
Jesus conquered sin and death (separation) by dying on His cross. Because of this, we need never live outside of an abiding relationship with Christ. His grace is sufficient to provide everything He died to purchase for us – and all these blessings are appropriated via our faith, our abiding in Him (John 15; Romans 6:14; 2 Corinthians 12:9-10; Hebrews 4:14-16; 7:24-26, etc.).
In order to be raised up, to walk in His resurrection power and grace, we must first be dead and buried with Christ.
“For he that is dead is freed from sin.” Romans 6:7
***ALL Heaven’s going to break out when this hits you in the heart, when your heart perceives this cross economy divine revelation.
Finishing Strong mean Finishing Crucified and Resurrected
HOW will you finish? It’s really how you finish that matters most! (2 Timothy 4:7-8) Finish strong beloved – lay down your life, death and burial, so that the strength of your life is Christ’s resurrection grace! (See 2 Corinthians 12:9-10) Go down deep.
“And the remnant that is escaped of the house of Judah shall again take root downward, and bear fruit upward:” Isaiah 37:31
Read the verse above again, looking for the death, the burial, and raising up!
The context Isaiah 37:31 concerns Assyria seeking to seize Judah and yet out of that evil attempt to conquer God’s people came a “remnant.” Yet it’s those who submitted to the LORD in death, those who took root downward (death and burial) who were reciprocally raised up out of that snare and destruction. Resurrection grace wins every time, with no exception! The cross is the divine prescription for absolute victory in every situation.
God counteracts death by the promise of resurrection – now and in eternity! (1 Corinthians 15; 2 Corinthians 4:10-12).
“Always bearing about in the body the dying of the Lord Jesus, that the life also of Jesus might be made manifest in our body. 11 For we which live are alway delivered unto death for Jesus’ sake, that the life also of Jesus might be made manifest in our mortal flesh. 12 So then death worketh in us, but life in you.” 2 Corinthians 4:10-12
The depth you allow God to bury you determines the height of His resurrection, His raising up in your life! (See 2 Corinthians 4:10-12)
“Bow down thine ear, and hear the words of the wise, and apply thine heart unto my knowledge. 18 For it is a pleasant thing if thou keep them within thee; they shall withal be fitted in thy lips. 19 That thy trust may be in the LORD, I have made known to thee this day, even to thee. 20 Have not I written to thee excellent things in counsels and knowledge, 21 That I might make thee know the certainty of the words of truth; that thou mightest answer the words of truth to them that send unto thee?” Proverbs 22:17-21
“Forasmuch then as Christ hath suffered for us in the flesh, arm yourselves likewise with the same mind: for he that hath suffered in the flesh hath ceased from sin; 2 That he no longer should live the rest of his time in the flesh to the lusts of men, but to the will of God.” 1 Peter 4:1-2
“And ye know that he was manifested to take away our sins; and in him is no sin. 6 Whosoever abideth in him sinneth not: whosoever sinneth hath not seen him, neither known him.” 1 John 3:5-6
“What? know ye not that your body is the temple of the Holy Ghost which is in you, which ye have of God, and ye are not your own? 20 For ye are bought with a price: therefore glorify God in your body, and in your spirit, which are God’s.” 1 Corinthians 6:19-20
Learning the Cross, the Crucified Life Where Jesus Reigns
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Articles
JT with Todd Tomasella of SAFEGUARD YOURSOUL – Evangelism Encouragement [video]

Joe Telford and Todd Tomasella – Evangelism Encouragement
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Abiding
7 Ways to Forgive [podcast]
PRAY
“But I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you;” Matthew 5:44
LOVE AND DO GOOD TO THE OFFENDER
“Let love be without dissimulation. Abhor that which is evil; cleave to that which is good.” Romans 12:9
REFUSE TO SPEAK EVIL OF THE OFFENDER
“Bless them which persecute you: bless, and curse not.” Romans 12:14
RELEASE THEM FROM YOUR PUNISHMENT
“Recompense (repay) to no man evil for evil. Provide things honest in the sight of all men. 18 If it be possible, as much as lieth in you, live peaceably with all men. 19 Dearly beloved, avenge not yourselves, but rather give place unto wrath: for it is written, Vengeance is mine; I will repay, saith the Lord.” Romans 12:17-19
DON’T CELEBRATE THEIR FAILURES
“Rejoice not when thine enemy falleth, and let not thine heart be glad when he stumbleth: 18 Lest the LORD see it, and it displease him, and he turn away his wrath from him.” Proverbs 24:17-18
TREAT THEM THE WAY YOU WANT TO BE TREATED
“And as ye would that men should do to you, do ye also to them likewise.” Luke 6:31
STOP DWELLING ON THE PAST
“Remember ye not the former things, neither consider the things of old.” Isaiah 43:18
The blessedness of being merciful to others:
“Blessed are the merciful: for they shall obtain mercy.” Matthew 5:7
The only way to prevent holding a grudge, is to simply forgive them – as God freely forgave you through the infinite price Christ paid for your sins on the cross, of which you don’t deserve (Psalms 103:10).
“Be patient therefore, brethren, unto the coming of the Lord. Behold, the husbandman waiteth for the precious fruit of the earth, and hath long patience for it, until he receive the early and latter rain. 8 Be ye also patient; stablish your hearts: for the coming of the Lord draweth nigh. 9 Grudge not one against another, brethren, lest ye be condemned: behold, the judge standeth before the door.” James 5:7-9
“And grieve not the holy Spirit of God, whereby ye are sealed unto the day of redemption. 31 Let all bitterness, and wrath, and anger, and clamour, and evil speaking, be put away from you, with all malice: 32 And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ’s sake hath forgiven you.” Ephesians 4:30-32
Being kind and forgiving towards others becomes simple as we look in the mirror and declare with Paul the apostle: “For I know that in me (that is, in my flesh,) dwelleth no good thing.” (Romans 7:18)
“He hath not dealt with us after our sins; nor rewarded us according to our iniquities.” Psalms 103:10
Forgiveness becomes easy when we look in the mirror to see the person (us, me) who needs God’s mercy more than any other person alive on the earth! Memorize Ephesians 4:32 now. KJB
“For the wrath of man worketh not the righteousness of God.” James 1:20
“Put on therefore, as the elect of God, holy and beloved, bowels of mercies, kindness, humbleness of mind, meekness, longsuffering; 13 Forbearing one another, and forgiving one another, if any man have a quarrel against any: even as Christ forgave you, so also do ye. 14 And above all these things put on charity, which is the bond of perfectness.” Colossians 3:12-14
Forgiveness Quotes
Forgiveness is ultra important to God. If you don’t forgive all others, you are not forgiven of your own sin and are as sure for hell as if you were already there. If you refuse to forgive you damn your own soul, non-negotiably. irrevocably.
“Forgiveness does not mean what happened is okay. It means not letting what happened take any more of your happiness.” Michelle Maros
“There is no love without forgiveness, and there is no forgiveness without love.” Bryant McGill
“Love is an act of endless forgiveness. Forgiveness is me giving up my right to hurt you for hurting me. Forgiveness is the final act of love.” Reinhold Niebuhr
“Holding a grudge doesn’t make you strong; it makes you bitter. Forgiving doesn’t make you weak; it sets you free.” unknown
Forgiveness | Fresh Start with God | Making Peace with God


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