Unmarried and Desire a Godly Mate?

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ATTN UNMARRIED DISCIPLE: A person who isn’t consumed with Christ does NOT qualify for you! Dare we waste the one life God gives us on earth married to an enemy of Christ?

Though there are other natural attractions, the primary attraction between unmarried Christians must be Christ!

The world has made it all about the 2-hour wedding, the average which costs tens of thousand$, and not about the relationship, the lifelong marriage.

SO you met someone who isn’t excited that you are saved? Not your mate!

ARE YOU UNMARRIED? – “Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness?” (2 Corinthians 6:14)

IF you are truly born again, you are not looking for A mate who isn’t (2 Corinthians 6:14).

CANDIDATE FOR A MATE? THERE’S no way it’s going to work unless they are truly born again, Holy Spirit filled, and seeking Jesus daily! We waste our time vainly thinking that it could be God’s will to unite us with anything less than a full blown born again disciple who is presently serving Jesus daily. It’s not. Remember the LORD owns all souls, made and owns this whole planet, and has that one precious saint to unite you with. Saint of Christ, perhaps today, you may wish to pause, get before God in prayer, and ask HIM to bring you together with that one born again disciple of His for marriage – desiring to humbly serve and be a blessing to that mate, helping prayerfully to see God fulfill His perfect, fruitful will in their life! Ask Him to get your own house in order, to prepare you for the ROLE (male/female) He’s ordained you to fulfill in that marriage.

MARRY someone who appreciates and celebrates your life with Jesus! Equal yoking!

You are asking God to give you the gift of one of His true followers as your mate for this life, right? God knows we don’t want a lukewarm counterfeit, right? In light of this, please allow me to suggest that you make it clear up front when you meet someone. Recently I did just that. Here’s what I stated to a lady who professed to be a Christian soon after we met:

“I am praying for a wife who is first and foremost a truly God fearing born again disciple of Jesus.”

Get it out there saints. Use Bible words like “born again.” (John 3:3, 7) If they aren’t authentically in Christ, you don’t want them for a mate! Remember, you are praying and looking for that ONE special person! Praise God for eliminating counterfeits. | What it means to be born again.

The truly born again disciple of Jesus is learning to consent to the cross life. The LORD is preparing those of His who are learning the daily cross – for a successful marriage that glorifies Him. ABS = Always Be Serving. Lay down your life (Philippians 2).

“For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body.” Ephesians 5:23

When a godly woman marries a man, she is trusting him to lead her and the family in the right ways of the LORD. Remember ladies, when you agree to marry a man, you are agreeing to submit to his headship. This is a non negotiable divine truth. Christ is the Head of the man and the man is the head of the woman.

“But I would have you know, that the head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman is the man; and the head of Christ is God.” 1 Corinthians 11:3

ATTENTION UNMARRIED CHRISTIAN: KNOW exactly what you are looking for! Make no excuse for anyone! Never mind the “but but but he’s this or she’s that….” Refuse to prop someone up! Discern, look for their real fruit! Do they talk about Jesus? Are they learning God’s Word? Are they laying down their life daily, denying self to serve Jesus and others? (Matthew 22:37-40) If they aren’t truly born again, unashamed of and serving Jesus daily – RUN! If they don’t honor you as Jesus would have all Christians do, RUN! Otherwise, you are walking into a trap of un-expressible horror/proportions! Just ask another believer who has married a counterfeit!

The young woman who was the person God used to get me saved, stood firm in Christ. We were attracted to each other physically, but she wasted no time telling me (at that time still a sinner) that I needed to get saved or she would have no relationship with me. She knew this 2 Corinthians 6:14 verse well and lived it. She was physically stunning by the way and not about to sacrifice her life with Christ for any man, though she desired marriage ultimately.

IT DOES NOT matter how much you WANT/WISH someone is saved-that DOES NOT mean they are! fruit!

IF you are entertaining the thought of marrying someone who is not grounded soundly in God’s Word and love, you are walking into an unequal yoking trap and will suffer long for such.

IF someone doesn’t esteem and highly honor the work of Christ in you and your calling to humbly serve Him, they are not God’s gift/mate for you. It’s a closed door. Check out how Abigail addresses David who later became her husband. Read this closely, prayerfully.

If she/he’s not turned on by your life in Christ, he/she’s a counterfeit!

ARE you unmarried and praying for a godly mate for an equally yoked marriage? Amen. Try finding someone else in the same state and lift them up to the LORD in prayer. Give your life in prayer for other of Christ’s saints. Acts 20:35, amen?

The Abigail and David Example

Recently a brother in Christ told me about a Christian lady he is courting. He said: “She’s very sweet and very caring and she respects me. She honors me.”

Wow now this is the kind of godly person every unmarried Christian should pray for, right?

“(Abigail speaking to David) I pray thee, forgive the trespass of thine handmaid: for the LORD will certainly make my lord a sure house; because my lord fighteth the battles of the LORD, and evil hath not been found in thee all thy days. 29 Yet a man is risen to pursue thee, and to seek thy soul: but the soul of my lord shall be bound in the bundle of life with the LORD thy God; and the souls of thine enemies, them shall he sling out, as out of the middle of a sling. 30 And it shall come to pass, when the LORD shall have done to my lord according to all the good that he hath spoken concerning thee, and shall have appointed thee ruler over Israel; 31 That this shall be no grief unto thee, nor offence of heart unto my lord, either that thou hast shed blood causeless, or that my lord hath avenged himself: but when the LORD shall have dealt well with my lord, then remember thine handmaid.” 1 Samuel 25:28-31

David’s response to Abigail was equally as godly and endearing:

“And David said to Abigail, Blessed be the LORD God of Israel, which sent thee this day to meet me: 33 And blessed be thy advice, and blessed be thou, which hast kept me this day from coming to shed blood, and from avenging myself with mine own hand. 34 For in very deed, as the LORD God of Israel liveth, which hath kept me back from hurting thee, except thou hadst hasted and come to meet me, surely there had not been left unto Nabal by the morning light any that pisseth against the wall. 35 So David received of her hand that which she had brought him, and said unto her, Go up in peace to thine house; see, I have hearkened to thy voice, and have accepted thy person.” 1 Samuel 25:32-35

When Nabal, her first husband died, David sent for Abigail to be his wife. Her response was fabulously godly:

And when the servants of David were come to Abigail to Carmel, they spake unto her, saying, David sent us unto thee, to take thee to him to wife. 41 And she arose, and bowed herself on her face to the earth, and said, Behold, let thine handmaid be a servant to wash the feet of the servants of my lord. 42 And Abigail hasted, and arose, and rode upon an ass, with five damsels of hers that went after her; and she went after the messengers of David, and became his wife.” 1 Samuel 25:40-42

Dear Unmarried Christian: ARE YOU praying and looking for someone who is rich this fleeting world? Or, are you truly Christ’s and therefore sanctified and looking for someone who is rich in Christ, in faith, in humility, and in the Scriptures?

Is your view of success God’s? What do the Scriptures teach? So very many unmarried people looking for someone who is successful in this world instead of a successful, cross-bearing disciple of Christ. Ungodly, Carnal, Self-serving, Horrible marriage coming for those who choose unwisely-outside of the truth of Scripture. Are you looking for a true disciple or someone who loves this present, fleeting world and is therefore the enemy of Christ? (Luke 16:15; James 4:4; 1 John 2:15-17)

IF you are making excuses for someone’s rebellion instead of honestly assessing the situation, that’s going to come back to haunt you! FRUIT! (Matthew 3:7-10; 7:16, 20)

It’s REAL SIMPLE: When a person is right with God: They live to serve God and others, not self! (Matthew 22:37-40)

The LORD was using her and she invited me to a tent meeting where for the first time in my life, I heard the Gospel of the grace of God in Christ Jesus and was saved.

CLUE for the unmarried: If 2 people aren’t FINDING ways to be together, that’s a closed door.

If you are unmarried and desire a mate, step back and evaluate whether or not the person or people you may be considering are truly and genuinely born again.

Recently, a sister in Christ who desires to be married asked me what she should be looking for in a man. She said she has had several relationships with men who claim to be Christians, but the fruit of their daily lives did not testify to a relationship with Christ. I told her that if a man is not first born again, confessing Jesus, engaging in a life of prayer with Jesus, and in the Word of God daily, he is not a true disciple and not a candidate for a God-fearing woman.

What are you doing to demonstrate to Christ that you are prepared to serve your mate in marriage? The cross – where we are serving Jesus and others, not self – is the only way a godly, good relationship can happen. Is the cross in your personal life and therefore your relationships? The Daily Cross

The LORD MUST be First, Not Your Mate!

God is Jealous! (Exodus 34:14) He will not be second to anyone but MUST be your “FIRST love” – first priority in all things (Revelation 2:4-5). It’s only out of the life that is truly loving, worshipping, obeying God that HIS divine love will flow and make marriage ultimate! The cross!

Jeni Marie Lorance writes:

“But we must beware of the tendency to begin to love our spouse more than our God. Then it becomes a curse. No one comes before GOD.

There was a time I desired so much a spouse. The Lord told me, “You want him so badly…but I want you and your ignoring me.”

Let that NEVER be said of me again.

Now I say, “Lord, I’d rather live single and do your will and be passionately in love with YOU. ”

And I mean it. (And God knows I mean it)

It’s better to be in love with God and have no one than to be on love with someone else and our relationship with God suffer.

But of course you can have both thriving.”

Marriage, Not Fornication!

Excerpt from the book Are YOU Marriage Material? The Beauty of Marriage—God’s Way PRAYER TO THANK GOD! Pray this . . . Jesus, we thank YOU for YOUR creation and every aspect of it! Thank You for bringing people together for YOUR purposes! Thank YOU, Father, for bringing my parents together with myself as the fruit of that relationship. In the name of Jesus, amen. SAINTS: If you want to have sex—that’s good—yet God says to get married and enjoy it in that context only! Read 1 Thessalonians 4:1-8. The world of sinners says, “Get a room” (fornicate). God says […]

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Gethsemane Preceded Calvary

“And he was withdrawn from them about a stone’s cast, and kneeled down, and prayed, 42 Saying, Father, if thou be willing, remove this cup from me: nevertheless not my will, but thine, be done. 43 And there appeared an angel unto him from heaven, strengthening him. 44 And being in an agony he prayed more earnestly: and his sweat was as it were great drops of blood falling down to the ground.” Luke 22:42-44

“He must increase, but I must decrease.” John 3:30

“Always bearing about in the body the dying of the Lord Jesus, that the life also of Jesus might be made manifest in our body. 11 For we which live are alway delivered unto death for Jesus’ sake, that the life also of Jesus might be made manifest in our mortal flesh. 12 So then death worketh in us, but life in you.” 2 Corinthians 4:10-12

“And he said to them all, If any man will come after me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross daily, and follow me. 24 For whosoever will save his life shall lose it: but whosoever will lose his life for my sake, the same shall save it. 25 For what is a man advantaged, if he gain the whole world, and lose himself, or be cast away?” Luke 9:23-25

Shall We Freshly Declare the Cross to be Front and Center in our Personal Lives?

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Abiding

“Rend Your Heart, and Not Your Garments” [podcast]

Who Does God Look to? Who Does God Dwell in?

Beware of any man pretending to represent Christ who isn’t praying and preaching for you to be possessed by a humble and contrite heart.

“Blessed are the poor in spirit: for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.” Matthew 5:3

“‘Blessed are the poor in spirit: for theirs is the kingdom of heaven’ (Matthew 5:3). A low condition. ‘Blessed are they that mourn: for they shall be comforted’ (Matthew 5:4). To mourn over our sin and our utter wickedness before a holy and righteous God. Those are the ones who will receive the comfort and ‘joy in the Holy Ghost’ (Romans 14:17).” Karen Cochran

Abandoning Our Own Sin, Our Own Way, for God and His Better Way!

To “rend your heart” is a biblical phrase meaning to tear open your heart in radical sincerity, true humility, and genuine repentance.

The phrase comes from Joel 2:13 in the Bible: “Rend your heart and not your garments and return to the Lord your God.”

One source notes the following:

“Context and Deeper Meaning:

Cultural Background: In ancient times, the Jewish people would tear (rend) their clothes as a public, highly visible display of grief or repentance.
The Spiritual Message: God is warning that outward rituals (like ripping clothing) are meaningless if the heart remains unchanged. Rending your heart implies breaking through your pride, letting go of excuses, and being completely vulnerable and authentic before God.
The Reward: The verse goes on to say that God is “gracious and compassionate, slow to anger and abounding in love.” Tearing open your heart allows you to experience His forgiveness and restore your relationship with Him.”

To see an example of rending one’s physical garment in representation of rending their heart, see Acts 14:11-18.

Where is the LORD Looking?

“But the Lord said unto Samuel, Look not on his countenance, or on the height of his stature; because I have refused him: for the Lord seeth not as man seeth; for man looketh on the outward appearance, but the Lord looketh on the heart.” 1 Samuel 16:7

“Therefore also now, saith the Lord, turn ye even to me with all your heart, and with fasting, and with weeping, and with mourning: 13 and rend your heart, and not your garments, and turn unto the Lord your God: for he is gracious and merciful, slow to anger, and of great kindness, and repenteth him of the evil. 14Who knoweth if he will return and repent, and leave a blessing behind him; even a meat offering and a drink offering unto the Lord your God” Joel 2:12-14

“What a gracious invitation is contained in these words. How tenderly the Lord reasons with his people. And what an encouraging assurance it folds up with. Reader! do not fail to observe that this call of the Lord, the accompanying grace to incline the heart to the observance of it is implied. It is most blessed ever to remember that when the Lord thus comes forth in his endearing invitations, he is secretly inclining the heart to accept them. Grace must first enter the heart, or there will be no inclination to obey.” Robert Hawker

“Jeremiah’s message was never meant to leave the heart in despair. Every warning from God carried an invitation to return. The Lord does not expose empty religion to shame His people, but to heal them. Repentance is not the loss of hope, it is the beginning of hope. Christ still receives every soul that comes with humility, and He gives living faith where there was only habit, peace where there was only fear, and joy where there was only emptiness. The call remains the same today, to draw near to Him with a sincere heart, trusting that His mercy is always greater than our weakness.” Dan Blincoe

A Fresh Start with God Always Begins with Humility and True Repentance

“Repent ye therefore, and be converted, that your sins may be blotted out, when the times of refreshing shall come from the presence of the Lord.” Acts 3:19

Concerning rending our hearts before the LORD, one source notes:

The classic Bible passage on this concept is Joel 2:13, where God commands: “Rend your heart and not your garments”. In ancient biblical culture, tearing (or “rending”) one’s physical clothing was a customary, visible display of extreme grief, despair, or repentance. Through the prophet Joel, God is essentially telling His people: Stop doing the empty, outward religious ritual of tearing your clothes to show everyone how sorry you are. Instead, let me see true, inward brokenness over your sins.

Examples of Rending Physical Garments

In the Bible, the physical act of tearing clothes was used as a dramatic expression of deep emotion in several well-known narratives:

Joseph’s Brothers (Genesis 37:29, 34): When Reuben realized Joseph was not in the pit, and later when the brothers brought Joseph’s blood-stained coat to Jacob, they tore their clothes in grief and despair.
Job (Job 1:20): After hearing that he had lost all his wealth and his children, Job stood up and tore his robe as an outward sign of his overwhelming sorrow.
King David (2 Samuel 1:11-12): When David received news of the deaths of King Saul and Jonathan, he and his men tore their clothes to mourn.
The High Priest (Matthew 26:65): In a dramatic display of hypocritical outrage, the high priest tore his own garments when Jesus declared He was the Son of God, falsely accusing Him of blasphemy.

The Spiritual Meaning of “Rending the Heart”

The concept of “rending the heart” contrasts an outward show with inward reality.

Genuine Repentance: Tearing your heart means being vulnerable, acknowledging your brokenness, and deeply repenting of sin before God.
Prioritizing Relationships over Rituals: God desires a sincere heart—true sorrow and a desire to change—more than he desires traditional religious pageantry or dramatic, public displays of grief.
The Promise of Forgiveness: In Joel 2:13, the command to rend the heart is immediately followed by the promise of grace: “Return to the LORD your God, for he is gracious and compassionate, slow to anger and abounding in love”.

God sees beyond our external habits and religious actions, requiring instead a humble, contrite heart to fully experience His mercy.”

God’s Mercy

“Therefore also now, saith the LORD, turn ye even to me with all your heart, and with fasting, and with weeping, and with mourning: 13 And rend your heart, and not your garments, and turn unto the LORD your God: for he is gracious and merciful, slow to anger, and of great kindness, and repenteth him of the evil. 14 Who knoweth if he will return and repent, and leave a blessing behind him; even a meat offering and a drink offering unto the LORD your God?” Joel 2:12-14

In God’s Word, where we see men who tear open their garments…. This holds the illustration of rending our hearts before the LORD.

Don’t render outward tearing, no, rather, tear open your inner man, your heart—be honest, sincere, exposed, and vulnerable to the LORD whom you trust.

Let’s attempt to get at, to ascertain what God is commanding of His beloved people to do in this “rend your heart” passage.

“Joel 2:13: Rend your heart—Let it not be merely a rending of your garments, but let your hearts be truly contrite. Merely external worship and hypocritical pretensions will only increase the evil, and cause God to meet you with heavier judgments.

For he is gracious—Good and benevolent in his own nature.

Merciful—Pitying and forgiving, as the effect of goodness and benevolence.

Slow to anger —He is not easily provoked to punish, because he is gracious and merciful.

Of great kindness—Exuberant goodness to all them that return to him.

And repenteth him of the evil—Is ever ready to change his purpose to destroy, when he finds the culprit willing to be saved. See the notes on Exo_34:6, Exo_34:7.” Adam Clarke

“Joel 2:12-14: III. DIVINE APPEAL TO JUDAH TO REPENT (2:12-14)
Even now, the LORD calls the people to repentance. It is not too late to return to Him. But it must be more than outward ritual. Their turning was to be with all their heart, with fasting, with weeping, and with mourning.” Believer’s Bible Commentary

To rend our hearts is the consistent message, mandate of God to His people of all ages and eras.

“The Lord is nigh unto them that are of a broken heart; and saveth such as be of a contrite spirit.” Psalms 34:18

“The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit: a broken and a contrite heart, O God, thou wilt not despise.” Psalms 51:17

In Joel 2 the LORD reminds those who are backslidden that He “is gracious and merciful, slow to anger, and of great kindness, and repenteth him of the evil. 14 Who knoweth if he will return and repent, and leave a blessing behind him; even a meat offering and a drink offering unto the LORD your God? …”

They must meet His stated conditions to receive His blessings ….

He promises that He will forgive them as they…..

“Joel 2:12-27: THE AVERTING OF JUDGMENT
To rend the garment is easy, but a broken and contrite heart can be imparted only by the grace of the Holy Spirit. The love of God should bring us to repentance. He takes no pleasure in our miseries and if men repent and turn from their sin they find an immediate and loving welcome to the Father’s heart and home. Joel had called for the trumpet to announce war; he now directs the trumpet blast to summon the people, from the highest to the lowest, to plead for help. Prayer and true repentance and faith bring an immediate answer. As the husband yearns over his erring but repentant wife, and is indignant with those who have maltreated her, so will Jehovah remove from us, when we turn to Him, those who have cruelly oppressed us.
The great things Jehovah did against Egypt and Babylon are an earnest of what He will do again. The earth (and all the creation of God) … have good reason to rejoice in what awaits them. God promises not only to forgive sin, but to make us happy and well provided as if the locust and cankerworm had never settled upon our lives.” FB Meyer

Religious hypocrites, counterfeits, emphasize the outward to cover their inner darkness, rebellion.

“Woe unto you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! for ye pay tithe of mint and anise and cummin, and have omitted the weightier matters of the law, judgment, mercy, and faith: these ought ye to have done, and not to leave the other undone. 24 Ye blind guides, which strain at a gnat, and swallow a camel. 25 Woe unto you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! for ye make clean the outside of the cup and of the platter, but within they are full of extortion and excess. Matthew 23:23-25

“He answered and said unto them, Well hath Esaias prophesied of you hypocrites, as it is written, This people honoureth me with their lips, but their heart is far from me.” Mark 7:6

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Articles

God and His Word are Unchanging [podcast]

Because God is Unchanging, So is His Word

“For I am the Lord, I change not; therefore ye sons of Jacob are not consumed.” Malachi 3:6

“Which keepeth truth for ever” – Is the Bible “Archaic”? No. Divine truth is everlasting. Has no expiration date. You cannot escape accountability to it, to Him. It’s an open book test. The Savior says “Heaven and earth shall pass away: but my words shall not pass away” (Mark 13:31). Divine truth is eternal, unchanging, and binding upon all men (Psalms 146:6; Malachi 3:6, etc.).

Every time you open God’s Word and begin reading, you are hearing the voice of God.

“But of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, thou shalt not eat of it: for in the day that thou eatest thereof thou shalt surely die.” Genesis 2:17

“Now the serpent was more subtil than any beast of the field which the Lord God had made. And he said unto the woman, Yea, hath God said, Ye shall not eat of every tree of the garden?” Genesis 3:1 (the devil questions God’s Word, questions what God says in His Word.)

“And the serpent said unto the woman, Ye shall NOT surely die.” Genesis 3:4

“Every word of God is pure: he is a shield unto them that put their trust in him. 6 Add thou not unto his words, lest he reprove thee, and thou be found a liar.” Proverbs 30:5-6

“For I testify unto every man that heareth the words of the prophecy of this book, If any man shall add unto these things, God shall add unto him the plagues that are written in this book: 19 and if any man shall take away from the words of the book of this prophecy, God shall take away his part out of the book of life, and out of the holy city, and from the things which are written in this book.” Revelation 22:18-19

“Ye shall not add unto the word which I command you, neither shall ye diminish ought from it, that ye may keep the commandments of the Lord your God which I command you.” Deuteronomy 4:2

“For we are not as many, which corrupt the word of God: but as of sincerity, but as of God, in the sight of God speak we in Christ.” 2 Corinthians 2:17

“Ye have perverted the words of the living God, of the LORD of hosts our God.” Jeremiah 23:36

“all the words that I command thee to speak unto them; diminish not a word:” Jeremiah 26:2

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“Study to shew thyself approved unto God, a workman that needeth not to be ashamed, rightly dividing the word of truth.” 2 Timothy 2:15 Memorize 2 Timothy 2:15 today. Index card perhaps. Read it aloud over and over. YOU cannot personally know the ORIGINAL Gospel if you don’t study the naked truth of it for yourself beloved. KJB So very many today are deceived due to not studying God’s Word for themselves. They live for years with erroneous notions men told them. Instead of repenting and getting into the Word for themselves, many of them go to their graves having […]

"Feed My Sheep" [podcast]

The Paramount Divine Importance of Nourishing the Saints of Christ “Take heed unto thyself, and unto the doctrine; continue in them: for in doing this thou shalt both save thyself, and them that hear thee.” 1 Timothy 4:16 Nourishing Christ’s Sheep “Feed the Flock of God.” 1 Peter 5:2 First, it’s God’s flock, paid for with the very blood of Jesus Christ (Acts 20:28). Jesus Christ is “that great shepherd of the sheep” (Hebrews 13:20). He instructed us to follow Him and, in doing so, to “FEED my sheep” (John 21:15-17). Tending to the sheep of Christ’s pasture involves nourishing […]

Teach the Bible [podcast]

JESUS IS COMING AND THE TRUE BODY OF CHRIST IS “HOLDING FORTH (BOLDLY DECLARING) THE WORD OF LIFE” “Holding forth the word of life; that I may rejoice in the day of Christ, that I have not run in vain, neither laboured in vain.” Philippians 2:16 WHEN you speak God’s Word, you are speaking divine authority. “These things speak, and exhort, and rebuke with all authority. Let no man despise thee.” Titus 2:15 “And Jesus came and spake unto them, saying, All power is given unto me in heaven and in earth. 19 Go ye therefore, and teach all nations, […]