Summary of what the Bible teaches on divorce and remarriage.
There is a difference between “putting away” (separation) and a “bill of divorcement” (divorce) ….. this is what some fail to rightly divide. They thereby perpetrate falsehood and bondage on others as they bear false witness against the LORD, against the whole counsel of His Word.
The LORD Himself divorced Israel due to her unfaithfulness, her adultery – HE IS DIVORCED AND REMARRIED TO THE GENTILES!
“And I saw, when for all the causes whereby backsliding Israel committed adultery I had put her away, and given her a bill of divorce; yet her treacherous sister Judah feared not, but went and played the harlot also.” Jeremiah 3:8
Notice that the LORD “put her away” (separation) and also had “given her a bill of divorce.” Those are 2 different things. For more on this watch the video by pastor Tim Tyler at the bottom of this post.
Marriage was originally intended to be permanent when instituted by its Designer (Matthew 19:3-6). The following words are presented to bring to light what the Almighty has stated concerning the unfortunate issues that face the victims of marital sins and what instructions and liberties He has sovereignly granted in such cases. Through the preponderance of Scripture it becomes clear that just like our covenant relationship with the LORD, so marriage is conditional upon the continued fidelity of each party.
When adultery or abandonment are committed, the victim has the God-given choice, they can stay or leave. They are no longer under bondage – no longer bound, cemented to the violator. Boom.
“But if the unbelieving depart, let him depart. A brother or a sister is not under bondage in such cases: but God hath called us to peace. 16 For what knowest thou, O wife, whether thou shalt save thy husband? or how knowest thou, O man, whether thou shalt save thy wife?” 1 Corinthians 7:15-16
Of this passage above, one Bible commentator rightly divides:
“[if the unbelieving depart, let him depart. A brother or a sister is not under bondage in such cases: but God hath called us to peace] Here we have another legal and scriptural reason for divorce and remarriage. If the unbeliever refuses to live with a wife or husband because of Christianity and if he or she is determined to leave on this account, the Christian is not under further marriage bonds and is not held responsible or punished by requirement to remain single the rest of his or her life because of the rebellion of another. The Christian is to submit to the breaking of the marriage covenant under such circumstances.”
Why is divorce not on any sin list in the Bible? Surely God could and would have easily placed it on the list of 17 soul damning sins in Galatians 5:19-21 if it were a sin. No, divorce is not a sin but rather that which causes a divorce is sin – abandonment and/or adultery. There is a primarily guilty party and a victim. Regrettably, divorce is appropriate due to the sinful, covenant-breaking sinful actions of another. God made provision in such cases.
The late Donald Stamps, in his Life in the Spirit Study Bible commentary wrote:
“EXCEPT IT BE FOR FORNICATION. God’s will for marriage is one mate, one marriage for life (vv. 5-6; see Gen. 2:24, Sol. 2:7; 4:12; Mal. 2:14). To this Jesus gives an exception, namely ‘fornication.’ Fornication is marital unfaithfulness (Gk. porneia) and includes adultery or any kind of sexual immorality (5:32; 19:9). Hence divorce is to be permitted when sexual immorality is involved. The following are important biblical facts concerning divorce.
(1) When Jesus criticizes divorce in 19:6-7, He is not criticizing a separation because of adultery, but a divorce permitted in the O.T. in those cases where a husband discovered premarital unchastity after the marriage ceremony had taken place (Deut. 24:1-4). God’s desire in such cases was that the two remain together. However, He permitted divorce due to premarital unchastity because of the hardness of the people’s hearts (vv. 7-8).
(2) In the case of immorality after marriage, the O.T. law prescribed the dissolving of the marriage by executing both the offending parties (Lev. 20:10; Deut. 22:22). This, of course, would leave the innocent person free to remarry (Rom. 7:2; 1 Cor. 7:39).
(3) Under the new covenant the privileges of the believer are no less. Although divorce is a tragedy, marital unfaithfulness is such a cruel sin against one’s mate that Christ states that the innocent party has a proper right to end the marriage by a divorce based on adultery. He or she is free to remarry another believer (1 Cor. 7:27-28).
(4) Paul’s treatment of marriage and desertion in 1 Cor. 7:12-16 indicates that a marriage also may be dissolved by the desertion of an unbelieving spouse. He further indicates that remarriage by the believer in such cases is not sin (see 1 Cor. 7:15; 27-28).” Donald Stamps, Life in the Spirit Study Bible, p. 1443
QUESTION:
“So can married couples divorce for any reason?”
REPLY:
No. Not just any reason. The Bible gives 2 clear reasons for divorce and so divorce is never a “I’m tired of her/him so I’m divorcing them!” Noooo. Marriage is ordained by God to be permanent and yet, abandonment and adultery/fornication are specific sins that can break that covenant if the offended party chooses (Matthew 19:9; 1 Corinthians 7:15-16, 27-28).
MESSAGE RECEIVED:
“I married my husband 10 years ago who had divorced his ex wife as she had committed adultery and she did everything she could to destroy his life and marriage to her. I have never been married before to anyone and my husband has been my husband in my life. The question is have I become an adulterous for marrying my divorced husband? We have a child together so what do I do? Do I leave my husband and remain single which would be so difficult as we have put God in everything of our lives and God in His great mercy brought my back slidden husband back on fire since we been together. I have repented before the Lord and had thought that there was fine as a single born again Christian for me to marry as my husband was ‘divorced on the grounds of unfaithfulness in his marriage. What do I do my brother? Thank you.” R.
REPLY:
NO you have not committed adultery…. that is a lie… Your husband was biblically divorced and perfectly cleared by God to remarry … PLEASE do not leave your husband…. whoever is teaching you this is a vile demonic heretic…. block them beloved and tell me if they are on my friends list also. Precious sister, you are completely clear in this matter and so is your beloved husband…. now HE’s going to clear your conscience to the core of your being so you can worship Him clearly – Heb 9:14; Jn 15:3…. via His truth…. the devil is a liar.
FOLLOW UP REPLY FROM THIS DEAR SISTER….
“Thank you so so much Brother Todd. I thought I been living in sin before our Holy God. Thank you so much, I cannot tell you how much I been scared and have had broken sleep because of this. Yes devil is a liar indeed. I will listen to the link you sent my brother. Am so deeply thankful to God for using you to help me in this situation as I was worried and scared to displease our Heavenly Father. Thank You Lord Jesus.”
Paul Galloway writes:
“I have read your teaching about divorce and remarriage and agree. Good stuff and well done. My convictions which have been concluded from my own study, as well as what I have been taught, are as follows.
The innocent spouse can divorce the guilty and remarry without sin, in the following situations:
- On the biblical conditions of fornication during engagement and/or adultery during marriage (Matthew 19:3-9; Deuteronomy 24:1-4; and 1 Corinthians 7:27-28.)
- Being unjustifiably deserted by an unbeliever or professed believer (Deuteronomy 24:1-4; 1 Corinthians 7:15, 27 and 28).
Also, considering actions of abuse which lead to the following:
- A repentant, guilty spouse is free to remarry without sin if the former spouse is deceased, remarried, is unbeliever or does not want reconciliation. Deuteronomy 24:1-4, and 1 Corinthians 7:27-28 also apply.
- A couple who have committed what some call “divorce and remarriage adultery” as they wrongly divorced and remarried, have committed a single act of adultery by doing so, but the new marriage is valid and not a state of perpetual adultery. They do not as a pre- or post-conversion act of adultery have to divorce or live as celibate or remarry former or first spouse. They need to get saved or restored (through repentance) if backslidden and are then called to remain in the new marriage—as breaking up the new marriage to return to the former spouse is forbidden (Deuteronomy 24:1-4; 1 Corinthians 7:20-29).
I believe that all of 1 Corinthians 7 is conditional and applies to the pre- and post- conversion life circumstances of believers. As I understand it, 1 Corinthians 7:27-28 is my final authority for those in the above groups. I feel that when it says “But and if thou marry, thou hast not sinned;” applies to all who are divorced and/or remarried as above. It also means, but and if thou remain married, thou hast not sinned. To force celibacy on one or forbid to marry or remain married as in the example above, in my opinion is a doctrine of devils. What advice would you offer, and would you agree? I look forward to your response.”
Much more here on Divorce and Remarriage
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PRAYER: Heavenly Father, I’d like to walk in Your bless-ed joy, filling my life to overflowing, no matter what’s transpiring. LORD, I ask You to do Your deeper work in my heart, in my life. Please set apart my life to truly glorify You, being full of the fruits of Your righteousness. In Jesus’ Name, amen.
Everyone desires the joy of the LORD, right? Yes, yet only those who are willing to devour His Word – to get it into their hearts and keep it flowing into their hearts, will experience that great joy of the LORD which is our strength! In context, the joy of the LORD is the strength of those who read it, hear it, embrace it, adhere to it, and keep it flowing into their mind and heart daily! (Nehemiah 8:8, 10)
“So they read in the book in the law of God distinctly (directly), and gave the sense, and caused them to understand the reading. … 10 Then he said unto them, Go your way, eat the fat, and drink the sweet, and send portions unto them for whom nothing is prepared: for this day is holy unto our Lord: neither be ye sorry; for the joy of the LORD is your strength.” Nehemiah 8:8, 10
After they had feasted on God’s Word, the elders of Israel said to them: You are now full of the Word. Now “Go your way”, that is, go home and be blessed to “send portions” of the bounty of the LORD you’ve been filled with today to overflowing. “Freely ye have received, freely give.” (Matthew 10:8) Let your cup run over and bless others! Let your light shine into others, may your cup run over onto others, to bless them with the bountiful blessings of the LORD you have received.
We have to eat the fat and drink the sweet of the Word of God to be filled with the joy of the LORD which is our strength!
“Thy words were found, and I did eat them; and thy word was unto me the joy and rejoicing of mine heart: for I am called by thy name, O LORD God of hosts.” Jeremiah 15:16
Nourishing the Body of Christ
“If thou put the brethren in remembrance of these things, thou shalt be a good minister of Jesus Christ, nourished up in the words of faith and of good doctrine, whereunto thou hast attained.” 1 Timothy 4:6
DO people know they can find the rich treasures of God’s Word when they walk into your life, when they visit your social media page? (Colossians 3:16) Will they be “nourished” by the milk and meat of God’s bless-ed Word when they are graced to be in your company?
“There is treasure to be desired and oil in the dwelling of the wise.” Proverbs 21:20
Holy Father, we ask You in the name of Jesus to make us happy in Jesus as You’ve forgiven and freed us from our sin and so of all people on Your earth, only Your people can be truly happy in Thee dear LORD. Please bless each of Your beloved saints to be anointed for the death and burial of the self life and raised up in Your blessed resurrection grace and joy. In Jesus’ name let it be dear LORD.
“These things have I spoken unto you, that my joy might remain in you, and that your joy might be full.” John 15:11
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“And he was withdrawn from them about a stone’s cast, and kneeled down, and prayed, 42 Saying, Father, if thou be willing, remove this cup from me: nevertheless not my will, but thine, be done. 43 And there appeared an angel unto him from heaven, strengthening him. 44 And being in an agony he prayed more earnestly: and his sweat was as it were great drops of blood falling down to the ground.” Luke 22:42-44
“He must increase, but I must decrease.” John 3:30
“Always bearing about in the body the dying of the Lord Jesus, that the life also of Jesus might be made manifest in our body. 11 For we which live are alway delivered unto death for Jesus’ sake, that the life also of Jesus might be made manifest in our mortal flesh. 12 So then death worketh in us, but life in you.” 2 Corinthians 4:10-12
“And he said to them all, If any man will come after me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross daily, and follow me. 24 For whosoever will save his life shall lose it: but whosoever will lose his life for my sake, the same shall save it. 25 For what is a man advantaged, if he gain the whole world, and lose himself, or be cast away?” Luke 9:23-25
Shall We Freshly Declare the Cross to be Front and Center in our Personal Lives?
“I am crucified with Christ: nevertheless I live; yet not I, but Christ liveth in me: and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by the faith of the Son of God, who loved me, and gave himself for me.” Galatians 2:20
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Abiding
“Rend Your Heart, and Not Your Garments” [podcast]
Who Does God Look to? Who Does God Dwell in?
Beware of any man pretending to represent Christ who isn’t praying and preaching for you to be possessed by a humble and contrite heart.
“Blessed are the poor in spirit: for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.” Matthew 5:3
“‘Blessed are the poor in spirit: for theirs is the kingdom of heaven’ (Matthew 5:3). A low condition. ‘Blessed are they that mourn: for they shall be comforted’ (Matthew 5:4). To mourn over our sin and our utter wickedness before a holy and righteous God. Those are the ones who will receive the comfort and ‘joy in the Holy Ghost’ (Romans 14:17).” Karen Cochran
Abandoning Our Own Sin, Our Own Way, for God and His Better Way!
To “rend your heart” is a biblical phrase meaning to tear open your heart in radical sincerity, true humility, and genuine repentance.
The phrase comes from Joel 2:13 in the Bible: “Rend your heart and not your garments and return to the Lord your God.”
One source notes the following:
“Context and Deeper Meaning:
- Cultural Background: In ancient times, the Jewish people would tear (rend) their clothes as a public, highly visible display of grief or repentance.
- The Spiritual Message: God is warning that outward rituals (like ripping clothing) are meaningless if the heart remains unchanged. Rending your heart implies breaking through your pride, letting go of excuses, and being completely vulnerable and authentic before God.
- The Reward: The verse goes on to say that God is “gracious and compassionate, slow to anger and abounding in love.” Tearing open your heart allows you to experience His forgiveness and restore your relationship with Him.”
To see an example of rending one’s physical garment in representation of rending their heart, see Acts 14:11-18.
Where is the LORD Looking?
“But the Lord said unto Samuel, Look not on his countenance, or on the height of his stature; because I have refused him: for the Lord seeth not as man seeth; for man looketh on the outward appearance, but the Lord looketh on the heart.” 1 Samuel 16:7
“Therefore also now, saith the Lord, turn ye even to me with all your heart, and with fasting, and with weeping, and with mourning: 13 and rend your heart, and not your garments, and turn unto the Lord your God: for he is gracious and merciful, slow to anger, and of great kindness, and repenteth him of the evil. 14Who knoweth if he will return and repent, and leave a blessing behind him; even a meat offering and a drink offering unto the Lord your God” Joel 2:12-14
“What a gracious invitation is contained in these words. How tenderly the Lord reasons with his people. And what an encouraging assurance it folds up with. Reader! do not fail to observe that this call of the Lord, the accompanying grace to incline the heart to the observance of it is implied. It is most blessed ever to remember that when the Lord thus comes forth in his endearing invitations, he is secretly inclining the heart to accept them. Grace must first enter the heart, or there will be no inclination to obey.” Robert Hawker
“Jeremiah’s message was never meant to leave the heart in despair. Every warning from God carried an invitation to return. The Lord does not expose empty religion to shame His people, but to heal them. Repentance is not the loss of hope, it is the beginning of hope. Christ still receives every soul that comes with humility, and He gives living faith where there was only habit, peace where there was only fear, and joy where there was only emptiness. The call remains the same today, to draw near to Him with a sincere heart, trusting that His mercy is always greater than our weakness.” Dan Blincoe
A Fresh Start with God Always Begins with Humility and True Repentance
“Repent ye therefore, and be converted, that your sins may be blotted out, when the times of refreshing shall come from the presence of the Lord.” Acts 3:19
“Therefore also now, saith the Lord, turn ye even to me with all your heart, and with fasting, and with weeping, and with mourning: 13 and rend your heart, and not your garments, and turn unto the Lord your God: for he is gracious and merciful, slow to anger, and of great kindness, and repenteth him of the evil. 14Who knoweth if he will return and repent, and leave a blessing behind him; even a meat offering and a drink offering unto the Lord your God?” Joel 2:12-14
Concerning rending our hearts before the LORD, one source notes:
The classic Bible passage on this concept is Joel 2:13, where God commands: “Rend your heart and not your garments”. In ancient biblical culture, tearing (or “rending”) one’s physical clothing was a customary, visible display of extreme grief, despair, or repentance. Through the prophet Joel, God is essentially telling His people: Stop doing the empty, outward religious ritual of tearing your clothes to show everyone how sorry you are. Instead, let me see true, inward brokenness over your sins.
Examples of Rending Physical Garments
In the Bible, the physical act of tearing clothes was used as a dramatic expression of deep emotion in several well-known narratives:
- Joseph’s Brothers (Genesis 37:29, 34): When Reuben realized Joseph was not in the pit, and later when the brothers brought Joseph’s blood-stained coat to Jacob, they tore their clothes in grief and despair.
- Job (Job 1:20): After hearing that he had lost all his wealth and his children, Job stood up and tore his robe as an outward sign of his overwhelming sorrow.
- King David (2 Samuel 1:11-12): When David received news of the deaths of King Saul and Jonathan, he and his men tore their clothes to mourn.
- The High Priest (Matthew 26:65): In a dramatic display of hypocritical outrage, the high priest tore his own garments when Jesus declared He was the Son of God, falsely accusing Him of blasphemy.
The Spiritual Meaning of “Rending the Heart”
The concept of “rending the heart” contrasts an outward show with inward reality.
- Genuine Repentance: Tearing your heart means being vulnerable, acknowledging your brokenness, and deeply repenting of sin before God.
- Prioritizing Relationships over Rituals: God desires a sincere heart—true sorrow and a desire to change—more than he desires traditional religious pageantry or dramatic, public displays of grief.
- The Promise of Forgiveness: In Joel 2:13, the command to rend the heart is immediately followed by the promise of grace: “Return to the LORD your God, for he is gracious and compassionate, slow to anger and abounding in love”.
God sees beyond our external habits and religious actions, requiring instead a humble, contrite heart to fully experience His mercy.”
God’s Mercy
“Therefore also now, saith the LORD, turn ye even to me with all your heart, and with fasting, and with weeping, and with mourning: 13 And rend your heart, and not your garments, and turn unto the LORD your God: for he is gracious and merciful, slow to anger, and of great kindness, and repenteth him of the evil. 14 Who knoweth if he will return and repent, and leave a blessing behind him; even a meat offering and a drink offering unto the LORD your God?” Joel 2:12-14
In God’s Word, where we see men who tear open their garments…. This holds the illustration of rending our hearts before the LORD.
Don’t render outward tearing, no, rather, tear open your inner man, your heart—be honest, sincere, exposed, and vulnerable to the LORD whom you trust.
Let’s attempt to get at, to ascertain what God is commanding of His beloved people to do in this “rend your heart” passage.
“Joel 2:13: Rend your heart—Let it not be merely a rending of your garments, but let your hearts be truly contrite. Merely external worship and hypocritical pretensions will only increase the evil, and cause God to meet you with heavier judgments.
For he is gracious—Good and benevolent in his own nature.
Merciful—Pitying and forgiving, as the effect of goodness and benevolence.
Slow to anger —He is not easily provoked to punish, because he is gracious and merciful.
Of great kindness—Exuberant goodness to all them that return to him.
And repenteth him of the evil—Is ever ready to change his purpose to destroy, when he finds the culprit willing to be saved. See the notes on Exo_34:6, Exo_34:7.” Adam Clarke
“Joel 2:12-14: III. DIVINE APPEAL TO JUDAH TO REPENT (2:12-14)
Even now, the LORD calls the people to repentance. It is not too late to return to Him. But it must be more than outward ritual. Their turning was to be with all their heart, with fasting, with weeping, and with mourning.” Believer’s Bible Commentary
To rend our hearts is the consistent message, mandate of God to His people of all ages and eras.
“The Lord is nigh unto them that are of a broken heart; and saveth such as be of a contrite spirit.” Psalms 34:18
“The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit: a broken and a contrite heart, O God, thou wilt not despise.” Psalms 51:17
In Joel 2 the LORD reminds those who are backslidden that He “is gracious and merciful, slow to anger, and of great kindness, and repenteth him of the evil. 14 Who knoweth if he will return and repent, and leave a blessing behind him; even a meat offering and a drink offering unto the LORD your God? …”
They must meet His stated conditions to receive His blessings ….
He promises that He will forgive them as they…..
“Joel 2:12-27: THE AVERTING OF JUDGMENT
To rend the garment is easy, but a broken and contrite heart can be imparted only by the grace of the Holy Spirit. The love of God should bring us to repentance. He takes no pleasure in our miseries and if men repent and turn from their sin they find an immediate and loving welcome to the Father’s heart and home. Joel had called for the trumpet to announce war; he now directs the trumpet blast to summon the people, from the highest to the lowest, to plead for help. Prayer and true repentance and faith bring an immediate answer. As the husband yearns over his erring but repentant wife, and is indignant with those who have maltreated her, so will Jehovah remove from us, when we turn to Him, those who have cruelly oppressed us.
The great things Jehovah did against Egypt and Babylon are an earnest of what He will do again. The earth (and all the creation of God) … have good reason to rejoice in what awaits them. God promises not only to forgive sin, but to make us happy and well provided as if the locust and cankerworm had never settled upon our lives.” FB Meyer
Religious hypocrites, counterfeits, emphasize the outward to cover their inner darkness, rebellion.
“Woe unto you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! for ye pay tithe of mint and anise and cummin, and have omitted the weightier matters of the law, judgment, mercy, and faith: these ought ye to have done, and not to leave the other undone. 24 Ye blind guides, which strain at a gnat, and swallow a camel. 25 Woe unto you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! for ye make clean the outside of the cup and of the platter, but within they are full of extortion and excess. Matthew 23:23-25
“He answered and said unto them, Well hath Esaias prophesied of you hypocrites, as it is written, This people honoureth me with their lips, but their heart is far from me.” Mark 7:6
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