Church Discipline: Six Steps

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The LORD corrects those He loves and we all need correction at times, yet only if we choose to hearken, humble ourselves, be teachable, and repent, will God restore us back to Himself (Proverbs 28:13; Hebrews 12:5-12; Revelation 3:19, etc.).

“As many as I love, I rebuke and chasten: be zealous therefore, and repent.” Revelation 3:19

Pastor Steve Cornell

(Matthew 18:1-35)

When someone becomes a follower of Jesus Christ, he also becomes part of a spiritual family. He belongs, as Jesus said, to “one of these little ones which believe in me” (Matthew 18:6). “So we, being many, are one body in Christ, and every one members one of another.” (Romans 12:5: cf. I Corinthians 12:24-27). Among the followers of Christ, there is a powerful spiritual unity that overcomes social and ethnic distinctions that separate people in the larger culture.

Believers form a spiritual family of brothers and sisters in Christ. Our loyalty to Christ and to those who belong to Him is so significant that we will not allow mere earthly relationships to compromise it. It is not uncommon for those earthly relationships to become strained when a person becomes a follower of Christ. (see Matt. 10:32-37) Our love for Jesus Christ, which is demonstrated in our love for those who belong to Christ, is superior to the love we have for mere earthly relationships.

In Matthew 18:15, Jesus opens with a family reference: v. 15, “if thy brother shall trespass against thee.” “Brother” is not meant as an exclusive reference to male members of the Church. (The same teaching applies to “sisters” in Christ). It could be understood this way, “If a fellow member of the church sins….”

What should our response be when a fellow member sins? (whether “against us” or not) Should we say, “That’s his business, who am I to judge him?” No. Jesus said, “Go and show him his fault just between the two of you.” Jesus’ requirement begins with “private confrontation.” But, before this step, there needs to be “personal preparation.”

The first two steps must be followed. They are:

1. Personal preparation (see: Matthew 7:3-5)

Jesus forbids looking at the faults of others without first dealing with our own sins. Remove the log from your own eye, Jesus insists, before you notice and remove the speck from your brother’s eye. Jesus clearly encouraged involvement in other people’s lives, but only after careful self-examination. This will help facilitate the attitude described in Galatians 6:1-2.

2. Private confrontation (Matthew 18:15; cf. Lev. 9:17).

Through proper preparation, we should prayerfully and patiently desire to resolve matters at the step of private confrontation. This is where the teaching of Matthew 5:23-24 and Matthew 18:15 should merge (See below my “Two Principles for Resolving Conflicts”). Church leaders should repeatedly teach people the principles of confronting and covering in love before applying Matthew 18:15-17.

If private confrontation does not lead to true repentance and restoration, a third step is required by Jesus.

3. Private conference (Matthew 18:16; cf. Deut. 19:15; Num. 35:30; Deut. 17:6)

If the third step, “private conference” is needed, it is not merely based on the sin that originally occasioned the confrontation. Instead, it is activated because of an obstinate attitude of the one confronted (v. 16). When a sinning member of the church refuses to heed the confrontation of a fellow believer, thus refusing to be restored to proper fellowship, the circle of confrontation needs to broaden so that it includes one or two others (This is based on an O.T. principle from Deut. 19:15; Num. 35:30; Deut. 17:6). Assuming that the one who made the initial confrontation kept the matter between himself and the sinning member, whom should he enlist for this third step? “One or two more” right? Yes. But who should these people be?

* People who are spiritually prepared (Matt. 7:3-5)

* People who are spiritually mature (Gal. 6:1)

* (Perhaps, but not necessarily) People entrusted with spiritual oversight (I Pet. 5:1-4; Acts 20:28)

Nothing in the text requires that these people be eye witnesses to the sin being confronted. If they had been, they should have gone to confront. Ideally , it would be good to include people who are known and respected by the erring member (e.g. small group leaders). What is the function of the one or two others? (V. 16), “that in the mouth of two or three witnesses every word may be established.” Their purpose is not to threaten or intimidate, but to help the erring brother to understand the seriousness of the matter. They do not get involved to evaluate the truthfulness of the charge, but to strengthen the rebuke and the call to restoration. After private conference, if the erring member remains obstinate and unwilling to acknowledge and repent of the sin and be restored to proper fellowship, Jesus teaches a fourth step (3rd in the text itself).

4. Public Announcement (v. 17a)

“Tell it unto the church” (i.e. to the “ekklesia,” the assembly). This step is a sobering reminder that sin is not always a private or personal matter for a Christian. When sin separates and alienates believers, it must be dealt with and resolved. But how do we take the step of public announcement? This might depend on the size of the church. In our church (500+ people), it would be communicated to the covenant members through a special meeting of the membership. These meetings would be precipitated by a letter to the members emphasizing that an urgent matter must be addressed. It is wise to make public discipline announcements at a service that includes communion. This helps the entire body remember that we all need the Savior and His forgiveness. It also helps to protect the body from a sinful pride (Gal. 6:1-2). Further, it affords opportunity for congregational instruction about repentance and restoration.

It is important for churches to specifically outline these steps in their constitutions to avoid law suits. Churches have been sued for following Matt. 18 and have lost in court, because they lacked specific reference to the steps in their official documents. (Note: It is not enough to say, “We follow the bible.”) Churches are wise to limit the public announcement to those who are actual members. Discipline of non-members is sticky territory. This is another reason why most churches need to become more intentional about membership (see: Membership Matters, Chuck Lawless, Zondervan).

5. Public confrontation (v. 17b),

This implies that the church (as an assembly) has made an appeal to the erring member. When the church is informed, it seems to imply that the pastors will be involved. And when this happens, it should be accompanied by warnings about the need to avoid:

* Gossip and slander

* A proud, critical spirit (Mattt. 7:3-5; Gal. 6:1)

* A lenient or punitive attitude

* Playing spiritual detective

People should be encouraged to pray for repentance and restoration. They should also call the brother or sister to make things right by responding in a godly manner. For those uncertain what to say, we recommend that they say, “I don’t know all the details, nor is it my place, but I do want to encourage you to make things right with the church.”

No one should give this brother the feeling that everything is fine (cf. II Thess. 3:12-14). Don’t act in cross purpose with the church. This would be disrespectful to the Church. Remember the goal, “Gain/Win thy brother.” It is redemptive! We should long for and pray for true repentance. True repentance is described in II Corinthians 7:10-12: ““For godly sorrow worketh repentance to salvation not to be repented of: but the sorrow of the world worketh death. 11For behold this selfsame thing, that ye sorrowed after a godly sort, what carefulness it wrought in you, yea, what clearing of yourselves, yea, what indignation, yea, what fear, yea, what vehement desire, yea, what zeal, yea, what revenge! In all things ye have approved yourselves to be clear in this matter. 12Wherefore, though I wrote unto you, I did it not for his cause that had done the wrong, nor for his cause that suffered wrong, but that our care for you in the sight of God might appear unto you.”

If true repentance becomes clear, the goal is restoration. This is described in: II Corinthians 2:6-8: “Sufficient to such a man is this punishment, which was inflicted of many. 7So that contrariwise ye ought rather to forgive him, and comfort him, lest perhaps such a one should be swallowed up with overmuch sorrow. 8Wherefore I beseech you that ye would confirm your love toward him.”

6. Public exclusion (v. 17c)

When the sixth step becomes necessary, the focus shifts from the individual to protection of the Church. The emphasis moves from redemptive to judicial. This decision protects the unity and purity of the Church but it is also best for the individual.

This final step is powerfully illustrated in I Corinthians 5.

Steve Cornell

When a Brother Stumbles

Church discipline serves to bring the transgressor to repentance and restore his faith in God.

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“Now the God of peace, that brought again from the dead our Lord Jesus, that great shepherd of the sheep, through the blood of the everlasting covenant …” Hebrews 13:20

“To him the porter openeth; and the sheep hear his voice: and he calleth his own sheep by name, and leadeth them out.” John 10:3

“My sheep hear my voice, and I know them, and they follow me: 28 and I give unto them eternal life; and they shall never perish, neither shall any man pluck them out of my hand. 29 My Father, which gave them me, is greater than all; and no man is able to pluck them out of my Father’s hand.” John 10:27-29

“This know also, that in the last days perilous times shall come.For men shall be lovers of their own selves, covetous, boasters, proud, blasphemers, disobedient to parents, unthankful, unholy, 3 without natural affection, trucebreakers, false accusers, incontinent, fierce, despisers of those that are good, 4 traitors, heady, highminded, lovers of pleasures more than lovers of God; 5 having a form of godliness, but denying the power thereof: from such turn away. 6 For of this sort are they which creep into houses, and lead captive silly women laden with sins, led away with divers lusts, 7 ever learning, and never able to come to the knowledge of the truth. 8 Now as Jannes and Jambres withstood Moses, so do these also resist the truth: men of corrupt minds, reprobate concerning the faith. 9 But they shall proceed no further: for their folly shall be manifest unto all men, as theirs also was.

10 But thou hast fully known my doctrine, manner of life, purpose, faith, longsuffering, charity, patience, 11 persecutions, afflictions, which came unto me at Antioch, at Iconium, at Lystra; what persecutions I endured: but out of them all the Lord delivered me. 12 Yea, and all that will live godly in Christ Jesus shall suffer persecution. 13 But evil men and seducers shall wax worse and worse, deceiving, and being deceived.” 2 Timothy 3:1-13

“And he said to them all, If any man will come after me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross daily, and follow me. 24 For whosoever will save his life shall lose it: but whosoever will lose his life for my sake, the same shall save it. 25 For what is a man advantaged, if he gain the whole world, and lose himself, or be cast away?” Luke 9:23-25

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IS YOUR HEART PURE BEFORE THE ALMIGHTY BELOVED?

DO I truly love “pureness of heart”?

“HE THAT LOVETH PURENESS OF HEART, for the grace of his lips the king shall be his friend.” Proverbs 22:11

Without a pure heart, obtained from seeking, worshiping, knowing, and obey God …. no one “shall see God.” Not one.

“Blessed are the pure in heart: for they shall see God.” Matthew 5:8

If you or I have every word of the Bible memorized and die today with a heart that is defiled with sin, we’d bust hell wide open – and be trapped there irrevocably forever.

TODAY is our day, it’s your day, to throw up those hands and that heart to the LORD who made you, and cry out to Him to grant you a pure heart, one that is innocent, clean, washed, delighting in Him.

“Delight thyself also in the LORD; and he shall give thee the desires of thine heart.” Psalms 37:4

When the LORD is truly working in a man, that man is learning to love “pureness of heart.”

“He that loveth pureness of heart, for the grace of his lips the king shall be his friend.” Proverbs 22:11

Coming and continuing to come to the light is essential to final salvation.

“And this is the condemnation, that light is come into the world, and men loved darkness rather than light, because their deeds were evil. 20 For every one that doeth evil hateth the light, neither cometh to the light, lest his deeds should be reproved. 21 But he that doeth truth cometh to the light, that his deeds may be made manifest, that they are wrought in God.” John 3:19-21

Choosing the Fear of the LORD

WE must surround ourselves with the Word, the people, the praises of our God! FLOOD your ear and eye gates beloved (Proverbs 4:23). Jesus is coming.

“But he that doeth truth cometh to the light, that his deeds may be made manifest, that they are wrought in God.” John 3:21

Coming clean: To be sanctified by Christ, one must repent and believe upon Him. As the LORD works in them, there will be the response of honesty, humble repentance and a coming to the light, continually. If not, judgment will be incurred (Isaiah 1:19-20).

“He that covereth his sins shall not prosper: but whoso confesseth and forsaketh them shall have mercy.” Proverbs 28:13

Those who cover instead of bring their depraved hearts into the light to have them changed and cleansed by the LORD, “shall not prosper.” In other words, they are stifled. Those who remain humble, teachable, correctable, rebukeable, and obedient, will receive divine mercy perpetually.

“God shall hear, and afflict them, even he that abideth of old. Selah. Because they have no changes, therefore they fear not God.” Psalms 55:19

Those who refuse to “choose the fear of the LORD” have no changes in their lives.

“For that they hated knowledge, and did not choose the fear of the LORD:” Proverbs 1:29

Psalms 73

“Nevertheless I am continually with thee: thou hast holden me by my right hand. 24 Thou shalt guide me with thy counsel, and afterward receive me to glory. 25 Whom have I in heaven but thee? and there is none upon earth that I desire beside thee. 26 My flesh and my heart faileth: but God is the strength of my heart, and my portion for ever. 27 For, lo, they that are far from thee shall perish: thou hast destroyed all them that go a whoring from thee. 28 But it is good for me to draw near to God: I have put my trust in the Lord GOD, that I may declare all thy works.” Psalms 73:23-28

Drawing Nigh (close) to God Afresh

“But he giveth more grace. Wherefore he saith, God resisteth the proud, but giveth grace unto the humble. 7 Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. 8 Draw nigh to God, and he will draw nigh to you. Cleanse your hands, ye sinners; and purify your hearts, ye double minded. 9 Be afflicted, and mourn, and weep: let your laughter be turned to mourning, and your joy to heaviness. 10 Humble yourselves in the sight of the Lord, and he shall lift you up.” James 4:6-10

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Articles

Out of the Mouth of Babes – “What is Love?” Hilarious. Revealing [podcast]

Hilarious and heart warming: What these precious children say will have you laughing and perhaps crying.

“What a blessing this was to my heart! My favorite was the 4 year old white sat on his neighbors lap! Phew! We could learn so much from children about love. They aren’t judgmental. There arms are open wide to give and receive love.” Karen Cochran

Jesus says that we are to be “converted” and also to “become as little children.” (Matthew 18:3-4)

Our LORD Jesus, the greatest Servant says:

“Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends.” John 15:13

This “greater love” of our Creator, Jesus Christ, was busy blessing each of us in our mother’s womb.

Reading 1 Corinthians 13 today will refresh your heart and mind on the divine importance placed upon LOVE. Share.

Recently it occurred to me…. That the younger the child, the less corrupted they are by this world and the closer they are to God, as in they were more recently in the womb, being fearfully and wonderfully made (Psalms 139).

“For thou hast possessed my reins: thou hast covered me in my mother’s womb. 14 I will praise thee; for I am fearfully and wonderfully made: marvellous are thy works; and that my soul knoweth right well. 15 My substance was not hid from thee, when I was made in secret, and curiously wrought in the lowest parts of the earth. 16 Thine eyes did see my substance, yet being unperfect; and in thy book all my members were written, which in continuance were fashioned, when as yet there was none of them. 17 How precious also are thy thoughts unto me, O God! how great is the sum of them!” Psalms 139:13-17

“Out of the Mouth of Babes” is a Scripture and an idiom, a biblical idiom that teaches us that the young and innocent are often unexpectedly wise. This term originates in the Old and New Testaments. The Book of Psalms (8:2) has God ordaining strength out of the mouths of babes and sucklings; the Gospel of Matthew (21:16) has praise emerging from the same source.

“And said, Verily I say unto you, Except ye be converted, and become as little children, ye shall not enter into the kingdom of heaven. 4 Whosoever therefore shall humble himself as this little child, the same is greatest in the kingdom of heaven.” Matthew 18:3-4

What does Love mean to 4-8 year old kids? How do they define love? (by an unknown guest)

“The problem is; We look for someone to grow old together with, While the secret is to find someone to stay a child with!” (Charles Bukowski)

What does Love mean to 4-8 year old kids?

Slow down for a few minutes to read this…💕

A group of professional people posed this question to a group of 4 to 8 year-olds, ‘What does love mean?’ The answers they got were broader, deeper, and more profound than anyone could have ever imagined!

‘When my grandmother got arthritis, she couldn’t bend over and paint her toenails anymore… So my grandfather does it for her all the time, even when his hands got arthritis too. That’s love.’ Rebecca – age 8

‘When someone loves you, the way they say your name is different. You just know that your name is safe in their mouth.’ Billy – age 4

‘Love is when a girl puts on perfume and a boy puts on shaving cologne and they go out and smell each other.’ Karl – age 5

‘Love is when you go out to eat and give somebody most of your French fries without making them give you any of theirs.’ Chrissy – age 6

‘Love is what makes you smile when you’re tired.’ Terri – age 4

‘Love is when my mommy makes coffee for my daddy and she takes a sip before giving it to him, to make sure the taste is OK.’ Danny – age 8

‘Love is what’s in the room with you at Christmas if you stop opening presents and just listen.’ Bobby – age 7 (Wow!)

‘If you want to learn to love better, you should start with a friend who you hate.’ Nikka – age 6

(we need a few million more Nikka’s on this planet)

‘Love is when you tell a guy you like his shirt, then he wears it every day.’ Noelle – age 7

‘Love is like a little old woman and a little old man who are still friends even after they know each other so well.’ Tommy – age 6

‘During my piano recital, I was on a stage and I was scared. I looked at all the people watching me and saw my daddy waving and smiling.

He was the only one doing that.

I wasn’t scared anymore.’ Cindy – age 8

‘My mommy loves me more than anybody. You don’t see anyone else kissing me to sleep at night.’ Clare – age 6

‘Love is when Mommy gives Daddy the best piece of chicken.’ Elaine – age 5

‘Love is when Mommy sees Daddy smelly and sweaty and still says he is handsomer than Robert Redford.’ Chris – age 7

‘Love is when your puppy licks your face even after you left him alone all day.’ Mary Ann – age 4

‘I know my older sister loves me because she gives me all her old clothes and has to go out and buy new ones.’ Lauren – age 4

‘When you love somebody, your eyelashes go up and down and little stars come out of you.’ (what an image!) Karen – age 7

‘Love is when Mommy sees Daddy on the toilet and she doesn’t think it’s gross…’ Mark – age 6

‘You really shouldn’t say ‘I love you’ unless you mean it. But if you mean it, you should say it a lot. People forget.’ Jessica – age 8

And the final one: The winner was a four year old child whose next door neighbor was an elderly gentleman who had recently lost his wife.

Upon seeing the man cry, the little boy went into the old gentleman’s yard, climbed onto his lap, and just sat there. When his mother asked what he had said to the neighbor, the little boy said, ‘Nothing, I just helped him cry.’ (This made me cry!)

Now, take a few seconds and post this for others to inspire and spread Love like butter!

And then go be a child again today!

“It’s good to be weak in flesh and strong in the power of His might. It’s good to be vulnerable like a child and abide under the shadow of His wings.” Debbie Lord

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“Love One Another” “A new commandment I give unto you, That ye LOVE ONE ANOTHER; as I have loved you, that ye also LOVE ONE ANOTHER.” John 13:34 “This is my commandment, That ye LOVE ONE ANOTHER, as I have loved you.” John 15:12 “These things I command you, that ye LOVE ONE ANOTHER.” John 15:17 “Owe no man any thing, but to LOVE ONE ANOTHER: for he that loveth another hath fulfilled the law.” Romans 13:8 “But as touching brotherly love ye need not that I write unto you: for ye yourselves are taught of God to LOVE ONE […]