Church Discipline: Six Steps

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The LORD corrects those He loves and we all need correction at times, yet only if we choose to hearken, humble ourselves, be teachable, and repent, will God restore us back to Himself (Proverbs 28:13; Hebrews 12:5-12; Revelation 3:19, etc.).

“As many as I love, I rebuke and chasten: be zealous therefore, and repent.” Revelation 3:19

Pastor Steve Cornell

(Matthew 18:1-35)

When someone becomes a follower of Jesus Christ, he also becomes part of a spiritual family. He belongs, as Jesus said, to “one of these little ones which believe in me” (Matthew 18:6). “So we, being many, are one body in Christ, and every one members one of another.” (Romans 12:5: cf. I Corinthians 12:24-27). Among the followers of Christ, there is a powerful spiritual unity that overcomes social and ethnic distinctions that separate people in the larger culture.

Believers form a spiritual family of brothers and sisters in Christ. Our loyalty to Christ and to those who belong to Him is so significant that we will not allow mere earthly relationships to compromise it. It is not uncommon for those earthly relationships to become strained when a person becomes a follower of Christ. (see Matt. 10:32-37) Our love for Jesus Christ, which is demonstrated in our love for those who belong to Christ, is superior to the love we have for mere earthly relationships.

In Matthew 18:15, Jesus opens with a family reference: v. 15, “if thy brother shall trespass against thee.” “Brother” is not meant as an exclusive reference to male members of the Church. (The same teaching applies to “sisters” in Christ). It could be understood this way, “If a fellow member of the church sins….”

What should our response be when a fellow member sins? (whether “against us” or not) Should we say, “That’s his business, who am I to judge him?” No. Jesus said, “Go and show him his fault just between the two of you.” Jesus’ requirement begins with “private confrontation.” But, before this step, there needs to be “personal preparation.”

The first two steps must be followed. They are:

1. Personal preparation (see: Matthew 7:3-5)

Jesus forbids looking at the faults of others without first dealing with our own sins. Remove the log from your own eye, Jesus insists, before you notice and remove the speck from your brother’s eye. Jesus clearly encouraged involvement in other people’s lives, but only after careful self-examination. This will help facilitate the attitude described in Galatians 6:1-2.

2. Private confrontation (Matthew 18:15; cf. Lev. 9:17).

Through proper preparation, we should prayerfully and patiently desire to resolve matters at the step of private confrontation. This is where the teaching of Matthew 5:23-24 and Matthew 18:15 should merge (See below my “Two Principles for Resolving Conflicts”). Church leaders should repeatedly teach people the principles of confronting and covering in love before applying Matthew 18:15-17.

If private confrontation does not lead to true repentance and restoration, a third step is required by Jesus.

3. Private conference (Matthew 18:16; cf. Deut. 19:15; Num. 35:30; Deut. 17:6)

If the third step, “private conference” is needed, it is not merely based on the sin that originally occasioned the confrontation. Instead, it is activated because of an obstinate attitude of the one confronted (v. 16). When a sinning member of the church refuses to heed the confrontation of a fellow believer, thus refusing to be restored to proper fellowship, the circle of confrontation needs to broaden so that it includes one or two others (This is based on an O.T. principle from Deut. 19:15; Num. 35:30; Deut. 17:6). Assuming that the one who made the initial confrontation kept the matter between himself and the sinning member, whom should he enlist for this third step? “One or two more” right? Yes. But who should these people be?

* People who are spiritually prepared (Matt. 7:3-5)

* People who are spiritually mature (Gal. 6:1)

* (Perhaps, but not necessarily) People entrusted with spiritual oversight (I Pet. 5:1-4; Acts 20:28)

Nothing in the text requires that these people be eye witnesses to the sin being confronted. If they had been, they should have gone to confront. Ideally , it would be good to include people who are known and respected by the erring member (e.g. small group leaders). What is the function of the one or two others? (V. 16), “that in the mouth of two or three witnesses every word may be established.” Their purpose is not to threaten or intimidate, but to help the erring brother to understand the seriousness of the matter. They do not get involved to evaluate the truthfulness of the charge, but to strengthen the rebuke and the call to restoration. After private conference, if the erring member remains obstinate and unwilling to acknowledge and repent of the sin and be restored to proper fellowship, Jesus teaches a fourth step (3rd in the text itself).

4. Public Announcement (v. 17a)

“Tell it unto the church” (i.e. to the “ekklesia,” the assembly). This step is a sobering reminder that sin is not always a private or personal matter for a Christian. When sin separates and alienates believers, it must be dealt with and resolved. But how do we take the step of public announcement? This might depend on the size of the church. In our church (500+ people), it would be communicated to the covenant members through a special meeting of the membership. These meetings would be precipitated by a letter to the members emphasizing that an urgent matter must be addressed. It is wise to make public discipline announcements at a service that includes communion. This helps the entire body remember that we all need the Savior and His forgiveness. It also helps to protect the body from a sinful pride (Gal. 6:1-2). Further, it affords opportunity for congregational instruction about repentance and restoration.

It is important for churches to specifically outline these steps in their constitutions to avoid law suits. Churches have been sued for following Matt. 18 and have lost in court, because they lacked specific reference to the steps in their official documents. (Note: It is not enough to say, “We follow the bible.”) Churches are wise to limit the public announcement to those who are actual members. Discipline of non-members is sticky territory. This is another reason why most churches need to become more intentional about membership (see: Membership Matters, Chuck Lawless, Zondervan).

5. Public confrontation (v. 17b),

This implies that the church (as an assembly) has made an appeal to the erring member. When the church is informed, it seems to imply that the pastors will be involved. And when this happens, it should be accompanied by warnings about the need to avoid:

* Gossip and slander

* A proud, critical spirit (Mattt. 7:3-5; Gal. 6:1)

* A lenient or punitive attitude

* Playing spiritual detective

People should be encouraged to pray for repentance and restoration. They should also call the brother or sister to make things right by responding in a godly manner. For those uncertain what to say, we recommend that they say, “I don’t know all the details, nor is it my place, but I do want to encourage you to make things right with the church.”

No one should give this brother the feeling that everything is fine (cf. II Thess. 3:12-14). Don’t act in cross purpose with the church. This would be disrespectful to the Church. Remember the goal, “Gain/Win thy brother.” It is redemptive! We should long for and pray for true repentance. True repentance is described in II Corinthians 7:10-12: ““For godly sorrow worketh repentance to salvation not to be repented of: but the sorrow of the world worketh death. 11For behold this selfsame thing, that ye sorrowed after a godly sort, what carefulness it wrought in you, yea, what clearing of yourselves, yea, what indignation, yea, what fear, yea, what vehement desire, yea, what zeal, yea, what revenge! In all things ye have approved yourselves to be clear in this matter. 12Wherefore, though I wrote unto you, I did it not for his cause that had done the wrong, nor for his cause that suffered wrong, but that our care for you in the sight of God might appear unto you.”

If true repentance becomes clear, the goal is restoration. This is described in: II Corinthians 2:6-8: “Sufficient to such a man is this punishment, which was inflicted of many. 7So that contrariwise ye ought rather to forgive him, and comfort him, lest perhaps such a one should be swallowed up with overmuch sorrow. 8Wherefore I beseech you that ye would confirm your love toward him.”

6. Public exclusion (v. 17c)

When the sixth step becomes necessary, the focus shifts from the individual to protection of the Church. The emphasis moves from redemptive to judicial. This decision protects the unity and purity of the Church but it is also best for the individual.

This final step is powerfully illustrated in I Corinthians 5.

Steve Cornell

When a Brother Stumbles

Church discipline serves to bring the transgressor to repentance and restore his faith in God.

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The Golden Rule Life: What’s that Really Mean? [podcast]

Thinking, Knowing, Applying, and Doing the Golden Rule of Jesus

Golden Rule living is the only way to live in glorification of our Maker. Spread this word. God calls you, yes you – to love Him supremely and to love your neighbor as you wish to be loved, treated (Matthew 7:12; 22:37-40; Philippians 2:3-5).

We must teach ourselves, our children and those around us the Golden Rule. “Therefore all things whatsoever ye would that men should do to you, do ye even so to them: for this is the law and the prophets” (Matthew 7:12). Jesus is coming.

“Golden Rule, precept in the Gospel of Matthew (7:12): ‘In everything, do to others what you would have them do to you. . . .’ This rule of conduct is a summary of the Christian’s duty to his neighbour and states a fundamental ethical principle.” Unknown

Taken from the teachings of Jesus, the Golden Rule is summed up as ”treating others how you want to be treated” or, ”doing unto others as you would have them do unto you.”

WELCOME TO THE LAST DAYS! The self-worshiping false gospel being taught by the enemies of the cross of Christ is epidemic these days as was foretold (Philippians 3:18-19; 1 Timothy 4:1-3; 2 Timothy 3:1-8; 4:2-5, etc.). Beware of the self-love they are teaching. It’s the “What’s in it for me” gospel of self-love. THIS CAUSES THEIR PREY TO WALK IN SELF-SERVING HATRED, MALICE, STRIFE, ETC., NOT GOD’S LOVE.

SOBERING! DO WE REALLY GET IT? Are you omitting love, charitable acts? How are you treating Christ’s body and servants? Ready to meet Jesus today? The way you are treating His body is the exact way you are treating Jesus (Matthew 25:40-41, 46).

The way we are treating others is the exact way we are treating Jesus – who created, died for, and rose again from the dead to save those people! If our relationship with Christ isn’t translating into the love of God filling us for others, we’re departed from Him and in need of swift repentance. Matt 7:12; 22:37-39

“And the King shall answer and say unto them, Verily I say unto you, Inasmuch as ye have done it unto one of the least of these my brethren, ye have done it unto me.” Matthew 25:40

“The way we treat others sets the standard of how we will be treated by God. And this includes receiving God’s gifts! Amen.” C.

If you aren’t respecting someone, you aren’t walking in God’s love toward them. Golden Rule (Matthew 7:12). Didn’t the LORD command us to treat others BETTER than ourselves (Philippians 2:3-5)? Would you like to be treated the way you are treating that person? Others?

“Treat others the way you want to be treated.” V.

Would you like to be treated the way you’re treating others? Golden Rule! Live it! Would you like to be neglected or inflicted as others have done to you?

Are you elevating other people ABOVE – “BETTER than” – yourself? This is the very “mind of Christ.”

THINKING, Applying, and Doing the Golden Rule of Jesus

Don’t want something done to you? Then don’t do it to someone else. Don’t want something thought about you? Then why think such about another person, especially if it’s not proven? Read Exodus 23:1-2. Don’t want something said about you (slander)? Then why believe the sowing of discord among the brethren which is an “abomination” to the LORD and the work of Satan himself, the accuser of Christ’s brethren (Proverbs 6:16-19; Revelation 12:10) …. MEASURE THIS!

Do you truly care for people or do you only care about what they can do for you?

This must be examined in each of our hearts.

If we care only about what others can do for us, we are Christ-less and should immediately seek Him in repentance and confession of our sins. He came and died for you and me with no guarantee we’d receive Him or with any other motive but to love us by paying the full price to redeem us from our sins in which we were otherwise hopelessly cemented.

“And hope maketh not ashamed; because the love of God is shed abroad in our hearts by the Holy Ghost which is given unto us. 6 For when we were yet without strength, in due time Christ died for the ungodly. 7 For scarcely for a righteous man will one die: yet peradventure for a good man some would even dare to die.” Romans 5:6-8

Instead of asking: “What’s in it for me,” we should always ask: “What’s in it for Jesus and others?”

Contrary to what we have been led to believe, we get NO “points” from God for “going to church” or for having a good record of “church attendance.” If this is true – and it sure is – why are we wasting precious time doing things God never told us to do while we leave the things He commanded us to do undone? How long shall we live outside of His will and yet still claim to be following Jesus – who gave all (John 15:13)? How long shall we allow the hirelings to exploit us with their weekly program that has never produced an ounce of discipleship in us? The divine command to “LOVE one another” appears 12 times in the New Testament. Do we truly LOVE our neighbor as ourselves? If so, then, like the earliest of Christ’s disciples, we do not consider that what we have in our possession is our own. Read, follow, and do Acts 2:44-45; 4:32-35. Why should I have two coats when my brother or sister has none? …… Selah!

The ultimate expression of the Golden Rule was performed by the One who gave that Golden Rule.

“Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends.” John 15:13

He who owed no debt to us, chose to pay the debt He did not owe – the debt we owed and could not pay. Sinners can’t redeem (pay the price) for sinners – only a perfect Savior could do that (Isaiah 53)! No man on earth was found qualified to redeem mankind but God sent His prophesied Savior, the very Son of God (Genesis 3:15; Ezekiel 22:30; John 3:16). | Redemption Through Sacrifice

Jesus Christ, the eternal God, came to the earth in fulfillment of over 300 Jewish prophecies, born of a virgin, to show us His Father’s love and to die the death that would redeem mankind. That is, the price for our sins was fully paid and whosoever will, can “Come and take of the water of life freely” (Revelation 22:17). The LORD still saves all who repent and receive Him as LORD and Savior (John 1:12; Romans 10:9-13). Read John 1 today.

THE GOLDEN RULE is Simple: Think about This – Do you want something believed or said or done to you that you are tempted to do to someone else? If not, then drop it and do not think it or do it toward another. Stop and pray for that person. This is exactly what Jesus told us to do and the disposition He desires us to have as of Him and His Father – love (Matthew 5:44-48).

“But I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you;” Matthew 5:44

“Love your enemies”
“bless them that curse you”
“do good to them that hate you”
“pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you”

Read Matthew 5:44-48 prayerfully, asking the LORD to make it manifest in your heart, thinking, and life.

“Therefore all things whatsoever ye would that men should do to you, do ye even so to them: for this is the law and the prophets.” Matthew 7:12

So, according to the One who gave us “The Golden Rule” (as we call it), what is the Golden Rule? Read and begin to memorize and incorporate the above verse of truth into your everyday thinking.

“The golden rule always should apply to every life! TREAT OTHERS THE WAY YOU WANT TO BE TREATED! This world would be a much better place to live!” K.

EVER been used? EVER been exploited by someone? WHAT did Jesus instruct, command us to do when we are used?

“But I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you;” Matthew 5:44

What’s going to happen to those who maliciously wrong another? A curse is coming on that person and their household:

“Whoso rewardeth evil for good, evil shall not depart from his house.” Proverbs 17:13

According to the divine pronouncement above, rewarding evil to someone who did you nothing but good (never harmed you), brings a curse.

The cardinal fruit of knowing God is love.

“He that loveth not, knoweth not God.” 1 John 4:8

GOD is interested in FRUIT and fruit only comes from a ROOTED abiding relationship with Jesus (Matthew 3:7-10; John 15, etc.)!

Any questions?

If you do not have God’s love manifesting in your thoughts and actions, it’s because you do not know Him. Read 1 Corinthians 13 every day this week and ask the LORD to make every bit of it a reality in your life.

“Let nothing be done through strife or vainglory; but in lowliness of mind let each esteem other better than themselves. 4 Look not every man on his own things, but every man also on the things of others. 5 Let this mind be in you, which was also in Christ Jesus: 6 Who, being in the form of God, thought it not robbery to be equal with God: 7 But made himself of no reputation, and took upon him the form of a servant, and was made in the likeness of men: 8 And being found in fashion as a man, he humbled himself, and became obedient unto death, even the death of the cross.” Philippians 2:3-8

Golden Rule Living is following Christ – the example He set when He “came NOT to be ministered unto (be served), but to minister (serve), and to give his life a ransom for many” (Matthew 20:28). WHOSE interests are you living for? Your own or Christs, and therefore His people? Do you realize that if you neglect those around you in need you are neglecting and affronting Jesus (Matthew 25:40-46)? Do you realize that you and I will be judged according to this exact measure and rule?

Just WHAT does preferring others ABOVE ourselves mean? How does that work itself out in our daily lives?

Are you living according to Christ’s teachings, OR, are you deceived into thinking you are following Him who is the only way to Heaven while setting aside, neglecting, and even shunning what He taught? Check out Mark 8:38; John 14:15, 21; Titus 1:16; 1 John 2:3-6. If I am to love my neighbor “as myself” (equally) and even prefer others “BETTER THAN” myself, why would I keep two houses when I knew another member of Christ’s body was without a home? WHY would I keep earthly investments or items that could be sold and the money given to those in need? I simply wouldn’t. The same goes for other possessions and money. Compare your Christianity to the earliest believers in Christ to see if you are authentic. Read Acts 2:44-45; 4:32-35.

The earliest disciples of Jesus were living according to His Word. They were preferring other believers “BETTER THAN themselves” (Golden Rule; Philippians 2:3-5). As true disciples of Jesus, they were naturally doing unto others as they would have them do to themselves if they were in the same need or situation.

Applying the Golden Rule in Your Thoughts and Attitudes Towards Others

“And oppress not the widow, nor the fatherless, the stranger, nor the poor; and let none of you imagine evil against his brother in your heart.” Zechariah 7:10

Notice: “let none of you imagine evil against his brother in your heart.” When your iniquitous, condemning fleshly mind, or Satan, tempts you to “imagine evil against” your brother or sister in Christ, what should you do? Read the above verse again, write it on an index card, and live by it. This qualifies exactly what Paul meant when he spoke of divine charity and its place in our lives. He stated that when we are walking in God’s love, it “thinketh no evil” inside of us, His vessels and dwelling place (1 Corinthians 13). In other words, love thinks nor concludes “no evil” against any person until it’s actually proven, and then, it shows mercy even as we are so personally and desperately in need of divine mercy – moment to moment (Titus 3:3-7; Jude 21).

“Keep yourselves in the love of God, looking for the mercy of our Lord Jesus Christ unto eternal life.” Jude 21

“Imagining evil in your heart sounded foreign until I came to recognize how wretched our sins are. I pray for forgiveness when I am thinking in a wrong way. We are supposed to be forgiving and merciful to others, not having feet that are swift to do mischief.” Dana R.

The Two Great Commandments

“Jesus said unto him, Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind. ³⁸This is the first and great commandment. ³⁹And the second is like unto it, Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself. ⁴⁰On these two commandments hang all the law and the prophets.” Matthew 22:37-40

1. “Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind”

2. “Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself”

Any person claiming to be a Christian – a follower of Christ – who does not have loving God and loving others as their highest priorities, is completely misled and deceived.

The Greatest of These is What?

“And now abideth faith, hope, charity, these three; but the greatest of these is charity.” 1 Corinthians 13:13

GOD PLACES the highest premium and priority on love and if you don’t, you simply do not yet understand Him nor His kingdom. Cry out to Him in confession and repentance to open the eyes of your understanding. Whatever you do, make this the priority of your life – loving God and all others – above yourself. Pouring over Philippians 2:3-5 each morning is a daily kingdom recalibration!

Pass This On.

The Mind of Christ

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“That is a wealth of wisdom. Usually I get laughed at for being too gullible. But that’s okay, I’d rather give a person the benefit of the doubt, unless they keep arguing over obvious scriptural passages, then I just pray for their eyes to open! So many who follow these Wolves in Sheep’s Clothing! I never want to be that gullible!” Diana M.

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ARE YOU WALKING IN THE MIND OF CHRIST? WHAT IS THE MIND OF CHRIST? “Let this mind be in you, which was also in Christ Jesus:” Philippians 2:5 The Messiah, the Man and His mind we are blessed to know, to be known by, and to follow is seen in Philippians 2. Read it in the morning beloved of God. Life change! Father, please bless Your beloved children with “the mind of Christ.” In Jesus’ name, amen! Jesus left His world with the Father in the pristine and glorious perfection of Heaven to come this is fallen world and show […]

Returning to Christ as Our "First Love" [podcast]

“Thou shalt have no other gods before me.” Exodus 20:3 The LORD is a “Jealous” God. “For thou shalt worship no other god: for the Lord, whose name is Jealous, is a jealous God:” Exodus 34:14 If Jesus Christ is not genuinely the first love of our hearts, our lives, we are committing spiritual adultery on the Son of God. “Jesus said unto him, Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind. 38 This is the first and great commandment. 39 And the second is like unto it, Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself. 40 On these two […]

Chosen, Called, Cleansed, Consecrated, Commissioned [podcast]

The LORD’s Vision to His Servant Isaiah and how it Relates to each of Us When the LORD revealed Himself more fully to the man Isaiah, the response of Isaiah is something we should behold and be taught by, learn from. “Then said I, Woe is me! for I am undone; because I am a man of unclean lips, and I dwell in the midst of a people of unclean lips: for mine eyes have seen the King, the LORD of hosts. 6 Then flew one of the seraphims unto me, having a live coal in his hand, which […]

One Body in Christ [podcast]

Love in the Body [podcast] “One fold, and one shepherd.” (John 10:16) Do we have a slight clue as to how much the LORD loves His children? (See 1 John 3:1-10.) He also requires that those who will be His obey Him, walking with Him according to His Word (Matthew 7:21; Ephesians 5:25-27; 2 Timothy 3:16-17, etc.). The UNITY God’s Word speaks of is ALWAYS and only on the foundation of TRUTH – the written Word! God is not the author of unity at the expense of His truth. For example: The Catholic church is a works-based antichrist pagan […]