by Carol Tharp Almy, M.D.
The Bible views women and men as equally responsible before God for their sin. However, the church has followed the world into viewing women as innocent victims with their “mistakes” being due to such things as a bad husband, abuse as a child, or chemical imbalance. A typical illustration of this error is seen in an article by Mary Kassian in the Council on Biblical Manhood and Womanhood Newsletter (CBMW).1
Kassian says she only had “good men” in her life. Her article leads me to assume she means that her male associates have not been wife beaters and child molesters like the male associates of the woman she describes. However, Scripture does not divide mankind into good and bad. It simply says that no one is good or does good. All have turned away and are unrighteous (Romans 3: 10-12).
Kassian contends that a woman “who has been molested by her grandfather, ignored by her father, sexually derided by her brother, slapped by her husband, and ridiculed by her male friends . . . reacts to the wounding by adopting a feminist and/or egalitarian philosophy which assures her of worth and value as a woman.”
This basic view of women is rampant within the modern church, even though it is in direct disobedience to Jesus’ directive not to judge (Matthew 7:1). Kassian makes a judgment of another person’s heart by adopting the doctrinal base of the insight-oriented therapy industry. She views the woman as essentially innocent, a clean slate written upon by an evil environment, and controlled by her past, which comes bubbling up in ways the “wounded woman” does not recognize. Only someone like Kassian, trained to read the symbols and secrets, can know this woman in ways that Scripture ascribes only to God. Via certain special, gnostic knowledge, available only to an educated elite with psychology degrees, Kassian claims to know what produced the thinking and actions defined as “feminist philosophy.”
What does Scripture say is the problem when a woman refuses to acknowledge the headship of her husband in the home or participates in Sophia conferences worshiping female secretions? The Bible makes no allowance whatsoever for the “wounded woman” portrayed by Kassian and simply says that refusal to take our place in God’s order is reason for God’s judgment. (Jude 6,7)
Kassian continues in the mindset of the psychotherapist, saying that the woman “needs healing of her pain before she is able to respond to truth.” Remember that the cities into which the apostles moved were not filled with “good men.” These cities were at least as depraved as the places where you and I live. Yet the apostles did not approach either male or female with the diagnosis of wounding nor did they ever suggest that truth could not be accepted until the pain was healed.
Read Acts 16:13-15, about the women whom Paul found praying together. Note the contrast between Kassian’s teaching and Scripture. No issue is made at all as to whether Lydia was surrounded by “good men.” No mention is made of the people with whom Lydia grew up or with whom she lived at the time. That seems strangely beside the point, does it not? Are we going to read between the lines and imagine that Paul spoke a different gospel to these women, because no men were present? If this were the case, would not Luke have recorded at least a portion of this crucial variation?
It is unlikely that this woman dealing in purple cloth from the city of Thyatira had grown up without pain. It is equally unlikely that Lydia had achieved what the therapeutic community calls “healing of her pain” before Paul arrived. Yet Scripture tells us that Lydia responded to the truth of Paul’s message. How could such a thing be?
Luke does not tell us whether these women who gathered outside the city gate by the river had rebelliously left home against the wishes of the “good men” in their life. Had their fathers and husbands beat them and locked them out for the day? Since Lydia is described as a Godfearer, it is not likely this was a group of lesbians seated in a ritualistic circle seeking to blend with Gaia down by the river. Beyond that, we can come to few conclusions about the home life of these women. Surely we should note that the inspired Word of God does not emphasize the influence of the men present in the lives of these women to whom Paul spoke. Circumstances, such as their environment, their past, or their “father-image,” do not appear to determine their ability to respond to Truth.
Look carefully at what Lydia did. She opened her heart, responded to Paul’s message with obedience in baptism, and began serving her God through hospitality. There is no hint that Lydia had a self-centered motive in this hospitality, desiring the preachers to stay at her house so she could get time with them to pour out details of past abuse by bad men in her life. There is no hint that Lydia was seeking any apostolic 12-step program to heal her wounded heart.
Is Lydia’s case unique? Look at Acts 5:1-11. Note that Peter quizzes Sapphira in the same way that he questioned Ananias. Peter does not analyze Sapphira’s upbringing; neither does he seem to consider what kind of men Sapphira had in her life. God’s Word gives us no permission to assume that Sapphira lied about the price of the land in order to gain worth and value as a woman. Peter shows no concern as to whether Sapphira was searching for security and significance, and he does not seem to have been informed of Sapphira’s need for healing of her pain before she could respond to truth.
Had they lived in our era, Ananias may even have modeled the seven promises of a Promise Keeper and Sapphira may even have helped him model what CBMW calls the complementary roles for men and women. However, about three hours after Ananias fell down and died for having lied to God, Sapphira did the same. There is no hint that the three hour delay was spent investigating Sapphira for codependency, panic disorder, adult ADHD, etc.
It must be emphasized that Sapphira was not excused due to wounding by a dishonest husband. It is no minor issue for church leaders to present a woman’s sin as healed by “a godly man who loves and blesses her as a woman,” facing “her woundedness,” repenting “of bitterness and unforgiveness,” and releasing “her pain to Jesus.” When a woman has accepted feminist philosophy, she needs far more than “the faithful love of a good man and her willingness to forgive those who had wounded her.” The church today seems content taking theology from romance novels or from the channel playing old movies.
Kassian goes on to say that “truth is not an end in and of itself, but rather the means . . . to be set fully free.” Scripture says that Jesus is the Truth, the fulfillment and end of the law, the alpha and omega, the beginning and the end. My freedom comes from the Messiah; it is not vice-versa and it cannot be so. My freedom is not the fulfillment, the omega; my freedom is not the goal, the end. Scripture gives me no license to make God’s Truth some ill-defined secondary luxury nice to have around after a “good man” or man’s techniques have healed my wounded heart. This is no minor theological issue!
Kassian says, “Most feminists will not be persuaded by theological finesse or expertise. Theirs is a wounding of the heart and their minds and will only be set aright as their hearts are healed.” In contrast, Paul said that they “perish; because they received not the love of the truth, that they might be saved. And for this cause God shall send them strong delusion, that they should believe a lie: That they all might be damned who believed not the truth, but had pleasure in unrighteousness” (2 Thes. 2:10-12).
Sin is not produced, as Kassian contends, by an assault on a woman’s personhood. Beware of terminology that lacks definition. Paul said, “And I, brethren, when I came to you, came not with excellency of speech or of wisdom, declaring unto you the testimony of God. For I determined not to know any thing among you, save Jesus Christ, and him crucified” (1 Cor. 2:1,2). Today’s church would do well to remember this warning about intellectualized, silly terminology. Sort through the fancy talk with its compassionate-sounding words, because it is basically saying that my sin is produced by my environment. We cannot afford to forget that Eve became a feminist in the perfect environment. Her grandfather had not molested her, her father had not ignored her, her brother had not sexually derided her, her husband had not slapped her, and male friends had not ridiculed her. Scripture says you and I fall for the lie for the same reason as Eve did. We would love to gain the wisdom and be like God. We would love to be in the driver’s seat. We hope that via a good husband, good parenting, visualization techniques, hypnosis, positive thinking, forgiveness methods, weigh-down—whatever fad is passing through—we can be set free. And, if we can use some Jesus-words as a means, then all the better!
Christian leaders, both conservative and liberal, are taking their doctrine from the same father of lies and thus are taking women in the same destructive direction. My problem is not the men in my life (and that is not to say that men are all models of righteousness). My problem is not what Daddy did. My problem is my own sin and rebellion. Kassian leaves me with no answers and no hope. If environmental wounding is my problem, I limp for the rest of my life. However, if sin is my problem, Jesus has died for that. Lidie Edmunds wrote a hymn in the 19th century, and I think we can safely say she would not have fallen for the “wounded woman” deception.
- My faith has found a resting place,
- Not in device or creed;
- His wounds for me shall plead.
- I trust the everliving One,
- I need no other argument,
- I need no other plea.
- It is enough that Jesus died,
- And that He died for me.
That is really the only question for you and for me. Is it enough that Jesus died; IS IT ENOUGH?
1 Mary Kassian, “For Those Who Hate Feminists—And Those Who Don’t.” Council on Biblical Manhood and Womanhood Newsletter , Vol. 1, No. 2.
(From PAL, V7N1)
Path to Popularity: Catapulted on the success of his book titled “Women Thou Art Loosed,” Jakes played on the emotions of women nationwide. He became popular by convincing women they are victims without ever calling them to repentance for their own sin and wrongdoing. Satan has not changed – he likes to go to “the weaker vessel” in order to gain a foothold into the family (1 Peter 3:1-7) Remember in the Garden of Eden how the serpent approached Eve and not Adam? (1 Timothy 2:9-14) This is how Satan, the most subtle beguiler, gains entrance and bring his stealing, killing, and destroying (John 10:10).
“For Adam was first formed, then Eve. 14 And Adam was not deceived, but the woman being deceived was in the transgression.” 1 Timothy 2:13-14
Without exception, the true Gospel begins with repentance and not before (Matthew 3:2; 4:17; Acts 2:38; 3:19). Women are not innocent victims and their core problem is not men (males) but rather their own sin. This is the case with all humans. The woman was integrally involved in the fall of mankind – “the woman being deceived was in the transgression (sin).” Jakes fails to mention this but rather coddles women in their wounds without giving them the biblical command to repent of their own sin which is where all divine healing begins and not before (Acts 3:19).
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“And he was withdrawn from them about a stone’s cast, and kneeled down, and prayed, 42 Saying, Father, if thou be willing, remove this cup from me: nevertheless not my will, but thine, be done. 43 And there appeared an angel unto him from heaven, strengthening him. 44 And being in an agony he prayed more earnestly: and his sweat was as it were great drops of blood falling down to the ground.” Luke 22:42-44
“He must increase, but I must decrease.” John 3:30
“Always bearing about in the body the dying of the Lord Jesus, that the life also of Jesus might be made manifest in our body. 11 For we which live are alway delivered unto death for Jesus’ sake, that the life also of Jesus might be made manifest in our mortal flesh. 12 So then death worketh in us, but life in you.” 2 Corinthians 4:10-12
“And he said to them all, If any man will come after me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross daily, and follow me. 24 For whosoever will save his life shall lose it: but whosoever will lose his life for my sake, the same shall save it. 25 For what is a man advantaged, if he gain the whole world, and lose himself, or be cast away?” Luke 9:23-25
Shall We Freshly Declare the Cross to be Front and Center in our Personal Lives?
“I am crucified with Christ: nevertheless I live; yet not I, but Christ liveth in me: and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by the faith of the Son of God, who loved me, and gave himself for me.” Galatians 2:20
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“Rend Your Heart, and Not Your Garments” [podcast]
Who Does God Look to? Who Does God Dwell in?
Beware of any man pretending to represent Christ who isn’t praying and preaching for you to be possessed by a humble and contrite heart.
“Blessed are the poor in spirit: for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.” Matthew 5:3
“‘Blessed are the poor in spirit: for theirs is the kingdom of heaven’ (Matthew 5:3). A low condition. ‘Blessed are they that mourn: for they shall be comforted’ (Matthew 5:4). To mourn over our sin and our utter wickedness before a holy and righteous God. Those are the ones who will receive the comfort and ‘joy in the Holy Ghost’ (Romans 14:17).” Karen Cochran
Abandoning Our Own Sin, Our Own Way, for God and His Better Way!
To “rend your heart” is a biblical phrase meaning to tear open your heart in radical sincerity, true humility, and genuine repentance.
The phrase comes from Joel 2:13 in the Bible: “Rend your heart and not your garments and return to the Lord your God.”
One source notes the following:
“Context and Deeper Meaning:
- Cultural Background: In ancient times, the Jewish people would tear (rend) their clothes as a public, highly visible display of grief or repentance.
- The Spiritual Message: God is warning that outward rituals (like ripping clothing) are meaningless if the heart remains unchanged. Rending your heart implies breaking through your pride, letting go of excuses, and being completely vulnerable and authentic before God.
- The Reward: The verse goes on to say that God is “gracious and compassionate, slow to anger and abounding in love.” Tearing open your heart allows you to experience His forgiveness and restore your relationship with Him.”
To see an example of rending one’s physical garment in representation of rending their heart, see Acts 14:11-18.
Where is the LORD Looking?
“But the Lord said unto Samuel, Look not on his countenance, or on the height of his stature; because I have refused him: for the Lord seeth not as man seeth; for man looketh on the outward appearance, but the Lord looketh on the heart.” 1 Samuel 16:7
“Therefore also now, saith the Lord, turn ye even to me with all your heart, and with fasting, and with weeping, and with mourning: 13 and rend your heart, and not your garments, and turn unto the Lord your God: for he is gracious and merciful, slow to anger, and of great kindness, and repenteth him of the evil. 14Who knoweth if he will return and repent, and leave a blessing behind him; even a meat offering and a drink offering unto the Lord your God” Joel 2:12-14
“What a gracious invitation is contained in these words. How tenderly the Lord reasons with his people. And what an encouraging assurance it folds up with. Reader! do not fail to observe that this call of the Lord, the accompanying grace to incline the heart to the observance of it is implied. It is most blessed ever to remember that when the Lord thus comes forth in his endearing invitations, he is secretly inclining the heart to accept them. Grace must first enter the heart, or there will be no inclination to obey.” Robert Hawker
“Jeremiah’s message was never meant to leave the heart in despair. Every warning from God carried an invitation to return. The Lord does not expose empty religion to shame His people, but to heal them. Repentance is not the loss of hope, it is the beginning of hope. Christ still receives every soul that comes with humility, and He gives living faith where there was only habit, peace where there was only fear, and joy where there was only emptiness. The call remains the same today, to draw near to Him with a sincere heart, trusting that His mercy is always greater than our weakness.” Dan Blincoe
A Fresh Start with God Always Begins with Humility and True Repentance
“Repent ye therefore, and be converted, that your sins may be blotted out, when the times of refreshing shall come from the presence of the Lord.” Acts 3:19
“Therefore also now, saith the Lord, turn ye even to me with all your heart, and with fasting, and with weeping, and with mourning: 13 and rend your heart, and not your garments, and turn unto the Lord your God: for he is gracious and merciful, slow to anger, and of great kindness, and repenteth him of the evil. 14Who knoweth if he will return and repent, and leave a blessing behind him; even a meat offering and a drink offering unto the Lord your God?” Joel 2:12-14
Concerning rending our hearts before the LORD, one source notes:
The classic Bible passage on this concept is Joel 2:13, where God commands: “Rend your heart and not your garments”. In ancient biblical culture, tearing (or “rending”) one’s physical clothing was a customary, visible display of extreme grief, despair, or repentance. Through the prophet Joel, God is essentially telling His people: Stop doing the empty, outward religious ritual of tearing your clothes to show everyone how sorry you are. Instead, let me see true, inward brokenness over your sins.
Examples of Rending Physical Garments
In the Bible, the physical act of tearing clothes was used as a dramatic expression of deep emotion in several well-known narratives:
- Joseph’s Brothers (Genesis 37:29, 34): When Reuben realized Joseph was not in the pit, and later when the brothers brought Joseph’s blood-stained coat to Jacob, they tore their clothes in grief and despair.
- Job (Job 1:20): After hearing that he had lost all his wealth and his children, Job stood up and tore his robe as an outward sign of his overwhelming sorrow.
- King David (2 Samuel 1:11-12): When David received news of the deaths of King Saul and Jonathan, he and his men tore their clothes to mourn.
- The High Priest (Matthew 26:65): In a dramatic display of hypocritical outrage, the high priest tore his own garments when Jesus declared He was the Son of God, falsely accusing Him of blasphemy.
The Spiritual Meaning of “Rending the Heart”
The concept of “rending the heart” contrasts an outward show with inward reality.
- Genuine Repentance: Tearing your heart means being vulnerable, acknowledging your brokenness, and deeply repenting of sin before God.
- Prioritizing Relationships over Rituals: God desires a sincere heart—true sorrow and a desire to change—more than he desires traditional religious pageantry or dramatic, public displays of grief.
- The Promise of Forgiveness: In Joel 2:13, the command to rend the heart is immediately followed by the promise of grace: “Return to the LORD your God, for he is gracious and compassionate, slow to anger and abounding in love”.
God sees beyond our external habits and religious actions, requiring instead a humble, contrite heart to fully experience His mercy.”
God’s Mercy
“Therefore also now, saith the LORD, turn ye even to me with all your heart, and with fasting, and with weeping, and with mourning: 13 And rend your heart, and not your garments, and turn unto the LORD your God: for he is gracious and merciful, slow to anger, and of great kindness, and repenteth him of the evil. 14 Who knoweth if he will return and repent, and leave a blessing behind him; even a meat offering and a drink offering unto the LORD your God?” Joel 2:12-14
In God’s Word, where we see men who tear open their garments…. This holds the illustration of rending our hearts before the LORD.
Don’t render outward tearing, no, rather, tear open your inner man, your heart—be honest, sincere, exposed, and vulnerable to the LORD whom you trust.
Let’s attempt to get at, to ascertain what God is commanding of His beloved people to do in this “rend your heart” passage.
“Joel 2:13: Rend your heart—Let it not be merely a rending of your garments, but let your hearts be truly contrite. Merely external worship and hypocritical pretensions will only increase the evil, and cause God to meet you with heavier judgments.
For he is gracious—Good and benevolent in his own nature.
Merciful—Pitying and forgiving, as the effect of goodness and benevolence.
Slow to anger —He is not easily provoked to punish, because he is gracious and merciful.
Of great kindness—Exuberant goodness to all them that return to him.
And repenteth him of the evil—Is ever ready to change his purpose to destroy, when he finds the culprit willing to be saved. See the notes on Exo_34:6, Exo_34:7.” Adam Clarke
“Joel 2:12-14: III. DIVINE APPEAL TO JUDAH TO REPENT (2:12-14)
Even now, the LORD calls the people to repentance. It is not too late to return to Him. But it must be more than outward ritual. Their turning was to be with all their heart, with fasting, with weeping, and with mourning.” Believer’s Bible Commentary
To rend our hearts is the consistent message, mandate of God to His people of all ages and eras.
“The Lord is nigh unto them that are of a broken heart; and saveth such as be of a contrite spirit.” Psalms 34:18
“The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit: a broken and a contrite heart, O God, thou wilt not despise.” Psalms 51:17
In Joel 2 the LORD reminds those who are backslidden that He “is gracious and merciful, slow to anger, and of great kindness, and repenteth him of the evil. 14 Who knoweth if he will return and repent, and leave a blessing behind him; even a meat offering and a drink offering unto the LORD your God? …”
They must meet His stated conditions to receive His blessings ….
He promises that He will forgive them as they…..
“Joel 2:12-27: THE AVERTING OF JUDGMENT
To rend the garment is easy, but a broken and contrite heart can be imparted only by the grace of the Holy Spirit. The love of God should bring us to repentance. He takes no pleasure in our miseries and if men repent and turn from their sin they find an immediate and loving welcome to the Father’s heart and home. Joel had called for the trumpet to announce war; he now directs the trumpet blast to summon the people, from the highest to the lowest, to plead for help. Prayer and true repentance and faith bring an immediate answer. As the husband yearns over his erring but repentant wife, and is indignant with those who have maltreated her, so will Jehovah remove from us, when we turn to Him, those who have cruelly oppressed us.
The great things Jehovah did against Egypt and Babylon are an earnest of what He will do again. The earth (and all the creation of God) … have good reason to rejoice in what awaits them. God promises not only to forgive sin, but to make us happy and well provided as if the locust and cankerworm had never settled upon our lives.” FB Meyer
Religious hypocrites, counterfeits, emphasize the outward to cover their inner darkness, rebellion.
“Woe unto you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! for ye pay tithe of mint and anise and cummin, and have omitted the weightier matters of the law, judgment, mercy, and faith: these ought ye to have done, and not to leave the other undone. 24 Ye blind guides, which strain at a gnat, and swallow a camel. 25 Woe unto you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! for ye make clean the outside of the cup and of the platter, but within they are full of extortion and excess. Matthew 23:23-25
“He answered and said unto them, Well hath Esaias prophesied of you hypocrites, as it is written, This people honoureth me with their lips, but their heart is far from me.” Mark 7:6
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Because God is Unchanging, So is His Word
“For I am the Lord, I change not; therefore ye sons of Jacob are not consumed.” Malachi 3:6
“Which keepeth truth for ever” – Is the Bible “Archaic”? No. Divine truth is everlasting. Has no expiration date. You cannot escape accountability to it, to Him. It’s an open book test. The Savior says “Heaven and earth shall pass away: but my words shall not pass away” (Mark 13:31). Divine truth is eternal, unchanging, and binding upon all men (Psalms 146:6; Malachi 3:6, etc.).
Every time you open God’s Word and begin reading, you are hearing the voice of God.
“But of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, thou shalt not eat of it: for in the day that thou eatest thereof thou shalt surely die.” Genesis 2:17
“Now the serpent was more subtil than any beast of the field which the Lord God had made. And he said unto the woman, Yea, hath God said, Ye shall not eat of every tree of the garden?” Genesis 3:1 (the devil questions God’s Word, questions what God says in His Word.)
“And the serpent said unto the woman, Ye shall NOT surely die.” Genesis 3:4
“Every word of God is pure: he is a shield unto them that put their trust in him. 6 Add thou not unto his words, lest he reprove thee, and thou be found a liar.” Proverbs 30:5-6
“For I testify unto every man that heareth the words of the prophecy of this book, If any man shall add unto these things, God shall add unto him the plagues that are written in this book: 19 and if any man shall take away from the words of the book of this prophecy, God shall take away his part out of the book of life, and out of the holy city, and from the things which are written in this book.” Revelation 22:18-19
“Ye shall not add unto the word which I command you, neither shall ye diminish ought from it, that ye may keep the commandments of the Lord your God which I command you.” Deuteronomy 4:2
“For we are not as many, which corrupt the word of God: but as of sincerity, but as of God, in the sight of God speak we in Christ.” 2 Corinthians 2:17
“Ye have perverted the words of the living God, of the LORD of hosts our God.” Jeremiah 23:36
“all the words that I command thee to speak unto them; diminish not a word:” Jeremiah 26:2
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