by Carol Tharp Almy, M.D.
The Bible views women and men as equally responsible before God for their sin. However, the church has followed the world into viewing women as innocent victims with their “mistakes” being due to such things as a bad husband, abuse as a child, or chemical imbalance. A typical illustration of this error is seen in an article by Mary Kassian in the Council on Biblical Manhood and Womanhood Newsletter (CBMW).1
Kassian says she only had “good men” in her life. Her article leads me to assume she means that her male associates have not been wife beaters and child molesters like the male associates of the woman she describes. However, Scripture does not divide mankind into good and bad. It simply says that no one is good or does good. All have turned away and are unrighteous (Romans 3: 10-12).
Kassian contends that a woman “who has been molested by her grandfather, ignored by her father, sexually derided by her brother, slapped by her husband, and ridiculed by her male friends . . . reacts to the wounding by adopting a feminist and/or egalitarian philosophy which assures her of worth and value as a woman.”
This basic view of women is rampant within the modern church, even though it is in direct disobedience to Jesus’ directive not to judge (Matthew 7:1). Kassian makes a judgment of another person’s heart by adopting the doctrinal base of the insight-oriented therapy industry. She views the woman as essentially innocent, a clean slate written upon by an evil environment, and controlled by her past, which comes bubbling up in ways the “wounded woman” does not recognize. Only someone like Kassian, trained to read the symbols and secrets, can know this woman in ways that Scripture ascribes only to God. Via certain special, gnostic knowledge, available only to an educated elite with psychology degrees, Kassian claims to know what produced the thinking and actions defined as “feminist philosophy.”
What does Scripture say is the problem when a woman refuses to acknowledge the headship of her husband in the home or participates in Sophia conferences worshiping female secretions? The Bible makes no allowance whatsoever for the “wounded woman” portrayed by Kassian and simply says that refusal to take our place in God’s order is reason for God’s judgment. (Jude 6,7)
Kassian continues in the mindset of the psychotherapist, saying that the woman “needs healing of her pain before she is able to respond to truth.” Remember that the cities into which the apostles moved were not filled with “good men.” These cities were at least as depraved as the places where you and I live. Yet the apostles did not approach either male or female with the diagnosis of wounding nor did they ever suggest that truth could not be accepted until the pain was healed.
Read Acts 16:13-15, about the women whom Paul found praying together. Note the contrast between Kassian’s teaching and Scripture. No issue is made at all as to whether Lydia was surrounded by “good men.” No mention is made of the people with whom Lydia grew up or with whom she lived at the time. That seems strangely beside the point, does it not? Are we going to read between the lines and imagine that Paul spoke a different gospel to these women, because no men were present? If this were the case, would not Luke have recorded at least a portion of this crucial variation?
It is unlikely that this woman dealing in purple cloth from the city of Thyatira had grown up without pain. It is equally unlikely that Lydia had achieved what the therapeutic community calls “healing of her pain” before Paul arrived. Yet Scripture tells us that Lydia responded to the truth of Paul’s message. How could such a thing be?
Luke does not tell us whether these women who gathered outside the city gate by the river had rebelliously left home against the wishes of the “good men” in their life. Had their fathers and husbands beat them and locked them out for the day? Since Lydia is described as a Godfearer, it is not likely this was a group of lesbians seated in a ritualistic circle seeking to blend with Gaia down by the river. Beyond that, we can come to few conclusions about the home life of these women. Surely we should note that the inspired Word of God does not emphasize the influence of the men present in the lives of these women to whom Paul spoke. Circumstances, such as their environment, their past, or their “father-image,” do not appear to determine their ability to respond to Truth.
Look carefully at what Lydia did. She opened her heart, responded to Paul’s message with obedience in baptism, and began serving her God through hospitality. There is no hint that Lydia had a self-centered motive in this hospitality, desiring the preachers to stay at her house so she could get time with them to pour out details of past abuse by bad men in her life. There is no hint that Lydia was seeking any apostolic 12-step program to heal her wounded heart.
Is Lydia’s case unique? Look at Acts 5:1-11. Note that Peter quizzes Sapphira in the same way that he questioned Ananias. Peter does not analyze Sapphira’s upbringing; neither does he seem to consider what kind of men Sapphira had in her life. God’s Word gives us no permission to assume that Sapphira lied about the price of the land in order to gain worth and value as a woman. Peter shows no concern as to whether Sapphira was searching for security and significance, and he does not seem to have been informed of Sapphira’s need for healing of her pain before she could respond to truth.
Had they lived in our era, Ananias may even have modeled the seven promises of a Promise Keeper and Sapphira may even have helped him model what CBMW calls the complementary roles for men and women. However, about three hours after Ananias fell down and died for having lied to God, Sapphira did the same. There is no hint that the three hour delay was spent investigating Sapphira for codependency, panic disorder, adult ADHD, etc.
It must be emphasized that Sapphira was not excused due to wounding by a dishonest husband. It is no minor issue for church leaders to present a woman’s sin as healed by “a godly man who loves and blesses her as a woman,” facing “her woundedness,” repenting “of bitterness and unforgiveness,” and releasing “her pain to Jesus.” When a woman has accepted feminist philosophy, she needs far more than “the faithful love of a good man and her willingness to forgive those who had wounded her.” The church today seems content taking theology from romance novels or from the channel playing old movies.
Kassian goes on to say that “truth is not an end in and of itself, but rather the means . . . to be set fully free.” Scripture says that Jesus is the Truth, the fulfillment and end of the law, the alpha and omega, the beginning and the end. My freedom comes from the Messiah; it is not vice-versa and it cannot be so. My freedom is not the fulfillment, the omega; my freedom is not the goal, the end. Scripture gives me no license to make God’s Truth some ill-defined secondary luxury nice to have around after a “good man” or man’s techniques have healed my wounded heart. This is no minor theological issue!
Kassian says, “Most feminists will not be persuaded by theological finesse or expertise. Theirs is a wounding of the heart and their minds and will only be set aright as their hearts are healed.” In contrast, Paul said that they “perish; because they received not the love of the truth, that they might be saved. And for this cause God shall send them strong delusion, that they should believe a lie: That they all might be damned who believed not the truth, but had pleasure in unrighteousness” (2 Thes. 2:10-12).
Sin is not produced, as Kassian contends, by an assault on a woman’s personhood. Beware of terminology that lacks definition. Paul said, “And I, brethren, when I came to you, came not with excellency of speech or of wisdom, declaring unto you the testimony of God. For I determined not to know any thing among you, save Jesus Christ, and him crucified” (1 Cor. 2:1,2). Today’s church would do well to remember this warning about intellectualized, silly terminology. Sort through the fancy talk with its compassionate-sounding words, because it is basically saying that my sin is produced by my environment. We cannot afford to forget that Eve became a feminist in the perfect environment. Her grandfather had not molested her, her father had not ignored her, her brother had not sexually derided her, her husband had not slapped her, and male friends had not ridiculed her. Scripture says you and I fall for the lie for the same reason as Eve did. We would love to gain the wisdom and be like God. We would love to be in the driver’s seat. We hope that via a good husband, good parenting, visualization techniques, hypnosis, positive thinking, forgiveness methods, weigh-down—whatever fad is passing through—we can be set free. And, if we can use some Jesus-words as a means, then all the better!
Christian leaders, both conservative and liberal, are taking their doctrine from the same father of lies and thus are taking women in the same destructive direction. My problem is not the men in my life (and that is not to say that men are all models of righteousness). My problem is not what Daddy did. My problem is my own sin and rebellion. Kassian leaves me with no answers and no hope. If environmental wounding is my problem, I limp for the rest of my life. However, if sin is my problem, Jesus has died for that. Lidie Edmunds wrote a hymn in the 19th century, and I think we can safely say she would not have fallen for the “wounded woman” deception.
- My faith has found a resting place,
- Not in device or creed;
- His wounds for me shall plead.
- I trust the everliving One,
- I need no other argument,
- I need no other plea.
- It is enough that Jesus died,
- And that He died for me.
That is really the only question for you and for me. Is it enough that Jesus died; IS IT ENOUGH?
1 Mary Kassian, “For Those Who Hate Feminists—And Those Who Don’t.” Council on Biblical Manhood and Womanhood Newsletter , Vol. 1, No. 2.
(From PAL, V7N1)
Path to Popularity: Catapulted on the success of his book titled “Women Thou Art Loosed,” Jakes played on the emotions of women nationwide. He became popular by convincing women they are victims without ever calling them to repentance for their own sin and wrongdoing. Satan has not changed – he likes to go to “the weaker vessel” in order to gain a foothold into the family (1 Peter 3:1-7) Remember in the Garden of Eden how the serpent approached Eve and not Adam? (1 Timothy 2:9-14) This is how Satan, the most subtle beguiler, gains entrance and bring his stealing, killing, and destroying (John 10:10).
“For Adam was first formed, then Eve. 14 And Adam was not deceived, but the woman being deceived was in the transgression.” 1 Timothy 2:13-14
Without exception, the true Gospel begins with repentance and not before (Matthew 3:2; 4:17; Acts 2:38; 3:19). Women are not innocent victims and their core problem is not men (males) but rather their own sin. This is the case with all humans. The woman was integrally involved in the fall of mankind – “the woman being deceived was in the transgression (sin).” Jakes fails to mention this but rather coddles women in their wounds without giving them the biblical command to repent of their own sin which is where all divine healing begins and not before (Acts 3:19).
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Abiding
7 Ways to Forgive [podcast]

PRAY
“But I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you;” Matthew 5:44
LOVE AND DO GOOD TO THE OFFENDER
“Let love be without dissimulation. Abhor that which is evil; cleave to that which is good.” Romans 12:9
REFUSE TO SPEAK EVIL OF THE OFFENDER
“Bless them which persecute you: bless, and curse not.” Romans 12:14
RELEASE THEM FROM YOUR PUNISHMENT
“Recompense (repay) to no man evil for evil. Provide things honest in the sight of all men. 18 If it be possible, as much as lieth in you, live peaceably with all men. 19 Dearly beloved, avenge not yourselves, but rather give place unto wrath: for it is written, Vengeance is mine; I will repay, saith the Lord.” Romans 12:17-19
DON’T CELEBRATE THEIR FAILURES
“Rejoice not when thine enemy falleth, and let not thine heart be glad when he stumbleth: 18 Lest the LORD see it, and it displease him, and he turn away his wrath from him.” Proverbs 24:17-18
TREAT THEM THE WAY YOU WANT TO BE TREATED
“And as ye would that men should do to you, do ye also to them likewise.” Luke 6:31
STOP DWELLING ON THE PAST
“Remember ye not the former things, neither consider the things of old.” Isaiah 43:18
The blessedness of being merciful to others:
“Blessed are the merciful: for they shall obtain mercy.” Matthew 5:7
The only way to prevent holding a grudge, is to simply forgive them – as God freely forgave you through the infinite price Christ paid for your sins on the cross, of which you don’t deserve (Psalms 103:10).
“Be patient therefore, brethren, unto the coming of the Lord. Behold, the husbandman waiteth for the precious fruit of the earth, and hath long patience for it, until he receive the early and latter rain. 8 Be ye also patient; stablish your hearts: for the coming of the Lord draweth nigh. 9 Grudge not one against another, brethren, lest ye be condemned: behold, the judge standeth before the door.” James 5:7-9
“And grieve not the holy Spirit of God, whereby ye are sealed unto the day of redemption. 31 Let all bitterness, and wrath, and anger, and clamour, and evil speaking, be put away from you, with all malice: 32 And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ’s sake hath forgiven you.” Ephesians 4:30-32
Being kind and forgiving towards others becomes simple as we look in the mirror and declare with Paul the apostle: “For I know that in me (that is, in my flesh,) dwelleth no good thing.” (Romans 7:18)
“He hath not dealt with us after our sins; nor rewarded us according to our iniquities.” Psalms 103:10
Forgiveness becomes easy when we look in the mirror to see the person (us, me) who needs God’s mercy more than any other person alive on the earth! Memorize Ephesians 4:32 now. KJB
“For the wrath of man worketh not the righteousness of God.” James 1:20
“Put on therefore, as the elect of God, holy and beloved, bowels of mercies, kindness, humbleness of mind, meekness, longsuffering; 13 Forbearing one another, and forgiving one another, if any man have a quarrel against any: even as Christ forgave you, so also do ye. 14 And above all these things put on charity, which is the bond of perfectness.” Colossians 3:12-14
Forgiveness Quotes
Forgiveness is ultra important to God. If you don’t forgive all others, you are not forgiven of your own sin and are as sure for hell as if you were already there. If you refuse to forgive you damn your own soul, non-negotiably. irrevocably.
“Forgiveness does not mean what happened is okay. It means not letting what happened take any more of your happiness.” Michelle Maros
“There is no love without forgiveness, and there is no forgiveness without love.” Bryant McGill
“Love is an act of endless forgiveness. Forgiveness is me giving up my right to hurt you for hurting me. Forgiveness is the final act of love.” Reinhold Niebuhr
“Holding a grudge doesn’t make you strong; it makes you bitter. Forgiving doesn’t make you weak; it sets you free.” unknown
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Abiding
Christ’s Non-Negotiable Original Gospel Imperative [podcast]

“He that is not with me is against me; and he that gathereth not with me scattereth abroad.” Matthew 12:30
It’s one thing to claim we are with Christ and He with us, and it’s another thing to prove we are with the Savior by adhering to His words. Jesus told us that those who are “of God” hear and obey His words (John 8:47).
If one chooses not to love Jesus enough to obey His stated terms, such a man has rejected the Son of God for the love of sinful self and will perish in his own corruption (Matthew 22:37-40; Luke 9:23-24; 14:33; 17:33; John 14:15; 1 John 2:3-6, etc.).
“Repentance is to TAKE SIDES with God against yourself. It is a CHANGE of attitude toward SELF, toward SIN, toward GOD, toward CHRIST that is so REAL that it RESULTS in a changed life. It is raising the WHITE FLAG in SURRENDER to God and turning to Christ as your only LORD and Savior. Repentance is NOT a work … works are the fruit of repentance (Ephesians 2:8-10).” Trent Austin
Only the counterfeit will get upset at this Gospel message because such a rebel wants nothing to do with taking personal responsibility for his sin, the denial of self, the crucified life to be set apart, holy, and having the Savior reign!
Notice how Jesus knits the denial of self, the daily cross, the putting off the deeds of the body, of keeping under the body (the iniquitous fallen nature) with the destiny of the eternal soul.
“And he said to them all, If any man will come after me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross daily, and follow me. 24 For whosoever will save his life shall lose it: but whosoever will lose his life for my sake, the same shall save it. 25 For what is a man advantaged, if he gain the whole world, and lose himself, or be cast away?” Luke 9:23-25
Jesus made it clear here that the cross is an original Gospel essential, an absolute imperative to eternal glory with Him!
Each of us proves exactly who we love the most by the way we are living! – God or self!
Everything that is happening in your life now is being allowed by God in order to get you down low into the death and burial with Christ. Read 2 Corinthians 4.
“But we have this treasure in earthen vessels, that the excellency of the power may be of God, and not of us. 8 We are troubled on every side, yet not distressed; we are perplexed, but not in despair; 9 Persecuted, but not forsaken; cast down, but not destroyed; 10 Always bearing about in the body the dying of the Lord Jesus, that the life also of Jesus might be made manifest in our body. 11 For we which live are alway delivered unto death for Jesus’ sake, that the life also of Jesus might be made manifest in our mortal flesh. 12 So then death worketh in us, but life in you.” 2 Corinthians 4:7-12
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