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Finding a Godly Wife


(by Push TO UMinistry on Facebook – Edited by Stephen Michels)

“Whoso findeth a Contact Email findeth a good thing, and obtaineth favour of the LORD.” Proverbs 18:22

We should not attempt to deny the God-given attraction between male and female. No, instead we must live that daily cross so that such affections are in check – crucified – and no “inordinate affection” (lust, concupiscence) is manifesting (Colossians 3:1-5). In fact, in this very passage we see that when the affections of our hearts are set upon the LORD Himself, His power within us will be resident to crucify the deeds of the body, including lust. Read Colossians 3; Galatians 5:16-26; 1 Corinthians 7:1-5.” Todd Tomasella

God called you to be a spiritual leader, to be a protector, to be an example of Christ’s love for the church.

(1) Maximize your time with God. Read and study the Word of God. Serve the LORD daily. Die to yourself and minister to others.

(2) Do not date/court people with whom you are unequally yoked- (A) NON-BELIEVERS, (B) BELIEVERS WHO HAVE DIFFERENT THEOLOGICAL BELIEFS THAN YOURS. Never date a woman who is stuck in her religious traditions and is not teachable. Only court one woman at a time. Do not ignore women whom God puts in front of you- women you meet while fellowshipping and doing Christ’s work, etc.

(3) Examine the woman’s character – “Favour is deceitful, and beauty is vain: but a woman that feareth the LORD, she shall be praised.” (Proverbs 31:30) Does she love the LORD, or does she just love her pastor and her church? There’s a huge difference here. If she is loving the LORD with all her being, she is helping others and not living to please herself. Is she wise? Is she unselfish? Is she kind? Would you feel proud to introduce her to others? Do you feel honored to be with her? Are you becoming a better man by knowing her? Are you growing in your relationship with God, because of her example?

(4) Do not allow yourself to be rushed into turning the relationship into romance. Build a strong friendship with her first. Guard your heart, and then wait to hear from the LORD. ALLOW THE HOLY SPIRIT TO GUIDE YOU REGARDING WHETHER OF NOT you should proceed further.

(4) Never place a woman in a position of dishonor. Respect a woman’s body as a temple for the holy spirit. Recognize that when you are with her, whether in person, on the phone, on the internet, or via text–Jesus is there with the two of you, and you should not do or say anything that would be inappropriate in His eyes. – The Bible says that godly men are to treat “The elder women as mothers; the younger as sisters, with all purity.” (1 Timothy 5:2)

(5) Do not allow others to speak negatively about her in front of you.

(6) Be certain that she is not making an idol of you. God will not allow such – before or after marriage. He is a Jealous God (Exodus 20:3-4; 34:14).  If a woman is not sincerely seeking the face of the LORD, she may be prone to idolize you. Encourage her to focus more on her relationship with the LORD.

(7) Beware of the many women today who, though claiming to be saved, are full of self – self-absorbed, self-seeking, and not given to serving God and others. A truly God-fearing woman is very rare. – ” Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price is far above rubies.” Proverbs 31:10

(8) Pray with her and pray for her. Invite her to fellowship with the people you fellowship with. Teach her God’s Word and help her to grow spiritually.

(9) If you plan to take her out, it would be advisable to invite another couple to go with you.

(10) Avoid spending too much time alone with her, especially at your place or at her place.

(11) It’s easy to get lonely as an unmarried person and this can lead one to make a rash decision. It’s easy to come together with a person of the opposite gender. Consider this – Are you two really compatible? Does she expect that when she gets married, her husband will buy her a 12 bedroom house, while you just want to live in a small country house on a farm, serving the LORD in humility and helping others? If you have been called to serve Jesus in full-time ministry, will she be supportive of that?

(12) Consider this – If you had daughters, would you want them to be like her? If you had sons, would you want them to marry a woman like her?

(13) Do you balance each other out? Are your weaknesses her strengths? Are her weaknesses your strengths?

(14) In a gracious way, find out if she seeks the LORD in His Word and prayer communion daily, mornings preferred since that reveals a person’s obedience to truly put Him first (Matthew 6:33).

I just received this email from a blessed brother who is unmarried and seeking a God-fearing wife:

“Had a great first date with Susan and Friday night I am going over to her mom’s house to meet her.  We are all having dinner together.  Susan has a kind and gentle spirit and, during our conversation, she stated something that I have NEVER heard a woman that I have dated say before.  She said that she has learned that there can only be one head in a marriage and that it is the man. I replied that a true leader is a servant leader just like Jesus, and sacrifices everything for the one he loves. That is 1 Corinthians 13 love.  She was also glad to hear that I attend a nondenominational Christian church… Thank you so much for your prayers, brother. I am very excited about our prospects so far! God is good and He answers our prayers, brother.” SM

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